styling attempts

Why is it that on american films the hero can come out of the wilderness after 6 months and armed with just a 2" sliver of mirror and a bowie-knife, is able to proceed to give himself the most perfect hairstyle and shave? Now i attempted to give myself a trim today, and ended up looking like i've been shot out of a cannon backwards.Have any of you tried any self smartening tactics that's gone tits-up?I suppose i'll be reading any answers to this in the aarsehole with the rest of my posts,but hey it's late and its only a bit of fun afterall. :wink:
Photos please, let us have a laugh, sorry I meant let us be the judge.

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