Stupidest thing youve done when drunk.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by theoriginalphantom, Jun 4, 2008.

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  1. Everyone with anything roughly resembling a life will at some point have consumed just a tiny little bit too much alcohol. For some of us this may only be two cans of shandy, while others will have to do 3 litres of vodka through a straw up their nose for the same effect.
    The questions are, how much had you drunk?

    What did you do?

    and what happened about it?
  2. 1. 19 bottles of Keisbartenfurhtenbrau.
    2. Posted threats on the internet
    3. The cleaning squad tidied up my mess for me
  3. Drunk 12 pints.

    Slapped my bitch up.

    Gobbed off on a public forum and said I'd commit suicide.
  4. A lot of rum and coke
    Got on a bike
    The surgeons gave me a nice bit of metal
  5. Going back a while there was a nightclub in Reading, called Nue Valbonne (Spelling?). On a Thursday it was £10 to get in, drink all you can for free. Every week we'd be down there getting lashed.

    One week, just before Guy Fawkes night I went in with an "Air Bomb" firework in my pocket, I'd bought a few earlier in the day.

    After consuming a fair amount of V&O (no idea how much, but enough to get me pished) I decided to show my mate Murph what it would do.

    I was standing at the urinal, fag in mouth (the good ol' days) and lit the firework.

    Instantly realising it wasn't the brightest of moves I aimed it at trap number one, the "bomb" fired out of the tube straight into the toilet starwars styleee. Phew...that'll put it out. BANG!! Fark! The toilet disintergrates, and I make a sharp exit out of the bogs. Got away with that!

    The next day at camp I find out that a couple of upgraders were fingered by some civvies, and they're looking at getting bust/RUT'd. I march in and confess my sins to the CSM.

    I was awared 18 days local nick, and made to pay the £700 damages to the club.

    We live and learn!
  6. Too much Lager
    Shat my Pants
    Never use that taxi company again!
  7. "I do"
  8. Loads of wine
    Puked all over my bedroom floor
    Mrs Toppers and Cider Glider cleared it up (Bless)
  9. Too many pints, several bottles and some aftershock. Got a kebab, tried to go home, played chicken with friends car near home. Got run over............. :oops:

    Was soooooo drunk that i bounced off the bonnet, saved my kebab whilst going through the air, and was only bruised!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
  10. Went to sleep in the back of a flatbed in Hong Kong, Island side and ended up in Kowloon. 18 hours later got home, bottom intactus.
  11. NAILS! (good use of kebab compass/kebab body armour)
  12. What's the commonest punishment for being drunk?
  13. A hangover
  14. Waking up with an ugly bird and a mouth like Gandhi's Flip Flop.
  15. surely you mean a squaddie hangover that would kill any civvi