Stupidest thing youve done when drunk.

Everyone with anything roughly resembling a life will at some point have consumed just a tiny little bit too much alcohol. For some of us this may only be two cans of shandy, while others will have to do 3 litres of vodka through a straw up their nose for the same effect.
The questions are, how much had you drunk?

What did you do?

and what happened about it?
1. 19 bottles of Keisbartenfurhtenbrau.
2. Posted threats on the internet
3. The cleaning squad tidied up my mess for me
Drunk 12 pints.

Slapped my bitch up.

Gobbed off on a public forum and said I'd commit suicide.
A lot of rum and coke
Got on a bike
The surgeons gave me a nice bit of metal
Going back a while there was a nightclub in Reading, called Nue Valbonne (Spelling?). On a Thursday it was £10 to get in, drink all you can for free. Every week we'd be down there getting lashed.

One week, just before Guy Fawkes night I went in with an "Air Bomb" firework in my pocket, I'd bought a few earlier in the day.

After consuming a fair amount of V&O (no idea how much, but enough to get me pished) I decided to show my mate Murph what it would do.

I was standing at the urinal, fag in mouth (the good ol' days) and lit the firework.

Instantly realising it wasn't the brightest of moves I aimed it at trap number one, the "bomb" fired out of the tube straight into the toilet starwars styleee. Phew...that'll put it out. BANG!! Fark! The toilet disintergrates, and I make a sharp exit out of the bogs. Got away with that!

The next day at camp I find out that a couple of upgraders were fingered by some civvies, and they're looking at getting bust/RUT'd. I march in and confess my sins to the CSM.

I was awared 18 days local nick, and made to pay the £700 damages to the club.

We live and learn!


War Hero
"I do"
Loads of wine
Puked all over my bedroom floor
Mrs Toppers and Cider Glider cleared it up (Bless)
Too many pints, several bottles and some aftershock. Got a kebab, tried to go home, played chicken with friends car near home. Got run over............. :oops:

Was soooooo drunk that i bounced off the bonnet, saved my kebab whilst going through the air, and was only bruised!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Went to sleep in the back of a flatbed in Hong Kong, Island side and ended up in Kowloon. 18 hours later got home, bottom intactus.
asha. said:
What's the commonest punishment for being drunk?
Waking up with an ugly bird and a mouth like Gandhi's Flip Flop.
Ring sting if you had a curry
worse if guiness
dirty looks of DCOS/long haired general and muttering about "mother was right"
mirror or dog?
kingburn_99 said:
NAILS! (good use of kebab compass/kebab body armour)
I wouldn't recommend it though! There was a pile of snow at the side of the road which helped break my trip through the air! :oops:
A good mate decided it would be a good idea to prove his manliness by holding his hand over a candle (which was inside a jam jar type holder). Cue someone smacking his hand down and holding it over the jar until the flame went out and the jar was stuck by suction to his hand. Obviously the pain didn't send out a message to my mate as he decided to do the same thing a little while later.
He appeared at work the next day with bandages wrapped around both hands and blisters the size of half a tennis ball on each palm...
oh recently....many many cheap vk'S

Showing how manly i was by hitting a fairground style punch bag (man test) I proceeded to miss said punch bag, hit the wall, que exploding knuckle lots of blood and lots of sniggering from bouncers and first aiders when i tell them my 'manly' story

Still waiting for it to heal!

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