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Stupidest piece of kit youve ever bought

#1
Is there such a thread already?

If not, I nominate my Gore-Tex skullcap. Great in theory. In practice, soggy on the outside, dry in the middle and drenched with sweat on the inside.

What else? Hmm...camouflaged Gerber multitool (paint flaked off. Now shiny); gas stove (I never seem to be able to find gas in-country. But that's just me, really); Buffalo shirt (never worn).

This thread has got to be able to give us some laughs...
 

Mr Happy

LE
Moderator
#2
DPM NBC suit, just about 3 weeks before the unit got them issued.

Rifle Magazine, Bren. Not the LMG mag I really wanted for my SLR

Best bit:

Sleeping bag cover (goretex bivi bag), 10 quid!
 
#3
Too much stuff to admit to sober :D .Sillist thing must be finger tip torch
good idea in theory but it fell apart .
 
#4
"Waterproof" LED torch that turned out to be "Splashproof" and gave up after 1/2 hour

Telescopic walking poles that, er, telescoped

DEET spray "specially formulated for sensitive skin" that appeared to contain battery acid.

Charcoal foot warmer pads that either did nothing much or produced a firewalking effect

"Self inflating" sleeping mat. (a) would not do so (b) was as comfortable as hardboard (c) was pretty good at self deflating
 
#5
Anything from the Naffi when you are in depot
KFS that rust as soon as it rains,Or my all time fav the everlasting match that you never use!!
Any knife that looks gucci, Because the only thing it ever gets used for is cutting green string.

Best buys go to anything gortex, Softie or sealskinz :D

Does Naffi Shampoo count? :)
 
#7
A DPM notebook cover that was just too big to fit any pocket and a small caribiner to clip my helmet to my webbing that snapped first time i used it.
 
#9
A large waterbag so i could carry more water into the field, great idea except when filled it weighed a ton and was like sticking half a jerry can in your bergan
 
#10
BaldricksBullet said:
All photos and plaques... especially those ones for one week courses. Suppose I was young...
I did that and gave them to my mum and they had pride of place on one of her walls

Till I had kids and they were replaced with pics of grandkids, found them scratched and covered in dust one day stuffed in a corner
 
#11
A daft rake - like thing for my rear cassette when I first got into mtn biking. It had teeth which were supposed to sit bettween the individual gears and prevent muck from clogging em up. It took four hours to fit, cost a tenner and was about 20 mm too small. Got a cool sticker with it though.

Not military kit sorry.
 

Mr Happy

LE
Moderator
#12
oh, if we're doing non-mil kit:

An engagement ring
A pair of matching wedding rings
'Gold' private medical insurance ("we don't cover maternity unless you've been with us 3 years...")
A second hand car off a bloke in South London (started for about a week)
A set of ceramic body armour (never hit)
 
#13
cheesypoptart said:
Is there such a thread already?

If not, I nominate my Gore-Tex skullcap. Great in theory. In practice, soggy on the outside, dry in the middle and drenched with sweat on the inside.

What else? Hmm...camouflaged Gerber multitool (paint flaked off. Now shiny); gas stove (I never seem to be able to find gas in-country. But that's just me, really); Buffalo shirt (never worn).

This thread has got to be able to give us some laughs...
Want to sell the buffalo shirt? :)

I bought some green wellies to wear instead of the issue black ones and got the P**s ripped by everyone.
 
#14
Gators, very noncy. looked like a tw@t in S Armagh. German Army mess tins/billy can, utter gash. Agreed on anything from Naafi at depot. Battalion tracksuits, really really nasty.

Civi shat. Rack in a bag. Webbing thing thats goes on the roof of a car insted of Bars/boxes, Ask the tent thats somewhere between J-17 J-21 on the M6.
 
#15
Zips for my boots (soooo 1980s!). The rattled, were hard to do up and made your boots loose.
 
#16
Big combat knife from px "careful with that woody you will cut yourself"
goes section commander too late. And then meeting sgt who is off to px
to buy large knife only to find I brought last one so upset him.
Did sell it too mate and watch crab air confiscate it so it did have happy end
ing.
 
#17
Non-stick messtin lid(so you can use it as a frying pan). The one time I used it over my peak stove, the extending handle got redders, the scran stuck to the non-stick and eventually the grease set alight and TMW went hungry. I distinctly remember hurling the fcucking thing away in a fit of pique, however it's still sitting in my holdall in the garage. Maybe it's actually a non-stick boomerang and I just didn't read the destructions...

Oh yes, and a set of boot zips. They were a really stupid idea...
 
#18
I used to have a thing for DPM Parker pens while I was in trainingas a Junior Leader, but everytime I went on exercise I would lose them and then have to replace it for the next exercise. I grew out of it once I got to my first working unit and started using bics and pencils, a lot cheaper. I also bought a stainless steel flask as we were advised to but seeing as I have never drank warm drinks it was 30 quid down the drain.
 
#19
Themanwho said:
Non-stick messtin lid(so you can use it as a frying pan). The one time I used it over my peak stove, the extending handle got redders, the scran stuck to the non-stick and eventually the grease set alight and TMW went hungry. I distinctly remember hurling the fcucking thing away in a fit of pique, however it's still sitting in my holdall in the garage. Maybe it's actually a non-stick boomerang and I just didn't read the destructions...
Got the non stick one, found it very usefull needs cooking oil though and only eggs stick, boiling time is much faster. Worst bit of kit, small crab for attaching skid lid to webbing, clip from old style holdall strap much better.
 
#20
Speedy said:
Zips for my boots (soooo 1980s!). The rattled, were hard to do up and made your boots loose.
ended up with ripped fingers, especially on winter exercises.
always put smoke grenade rings in them but the zip end would snap rendering them useless!
 

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