Stupid skills you havent got - because you were in the army

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by PinkBayonetPolisher, Nov 22, 2009.

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  1. I love it when you get credited with skills, character traits or other general shite for having served some time in your life.

    Two of my favourites, for example

    "You used to be in the army, you should be good at lighting fires."

    "You used to be in the army, you should be good at putting up tents."

  2. Never put up a 9 x 9 or 12 x 12?
  3. or, I'm in the Army....oh, are you,? I know someone in the Army, you might know him......yeah right.
  4. 'You were in the Army, did you ever kill anyone?'... :roll:
  5. Nope. Mostly slept in trenches and shell scrapes.
  6. You were in the Army, can you come and kill my chicken? (Honestly - and no, I didn't).
  7. ...or shouldn't you at least have one medal for all that time you spent in Detmold? :wink:
  8. Haven't quite grasped the premise of the question have you?
  9. "You were in the RAF you should be good at camping" er, no dear we check in not dig in.
  10. You were in the army, you must be good at breaking into places. :?
  11. This was a statement from a civvy who works in our office

    "Maybe you can answer this as your a Pet Op, if the price of crude oil is going down, then why are petrol prices going up??"

    I must have missed the point in trade training when we were taught the politics of the worlds oil resources
  12. "you were in the long did it take you to learn to fly?"

  13. Nope, but I hurt someones feelings once.
  14. I learnt several skills in the Army.... that could still be of use in Civvie Street....

    If living in a shared tent/cell/shitehole.... and there is a bucket in the corner to be used as a Piss Pot during the night.... Piss against the insides of the bucket, not directly into the middle.... otherwsie the noise will waken your fellow prison**... ooops.. I meant Comrades in Arms.. :p

    I also learnt how to use a razor blade to to clean Urinals with... to scrape all the green and brown gunk of the porcelain.... :oops:

    Also how to scrape the yellow and brown puss from around the base of a WC pedestal to make it look pristine clean for the Razzman's Block Inspection on a Saturday.. :lol:

    Also learnt how to do a Tin Bash in the cookhouse when there was a 'flu epidemic going round the regiment, and the Civvie cookhouse staff could come in to the same jobs......
  15. I suppose technically yes, you nit-picking bugger. :)