Stupid Questions People Ask About Your Job

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Your_Mums_Pal, Feb 2, 2011.

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  1. Thought I'd give this premise a bash since I'm sure most of you get your fair share of "have you ever jumped through the air whilst firing two guns at the same time?" from plenty of arseholes wandering about bumping into you who realise that you're in the forces.

    People constantly ask ridiculously stupid and irritating questions. Especially Joe Public (if you work in a customer-based industry). Anybody got a few stonkers or arse-fireingly irritating ones to share?

    For example, I work for a quaint little hotel chain brand that features a moon on it's logo.

    I'm constantly asked:

    - Do you get to sleep in the rooms at night/during the day? (Aye, if I pay the 50 quid for one)

    - Don't you get bored sitting in this reception all day? (Yes, thanks for reminding me)

    - Can you get into the rooms when we're asleep? (I do have a master key and I do plan to nick your poxy travel bag)

    Then there's the piece de resistance, the incredibly infuriating and constantly asked:

    - Have you met Lenny Henry? (No and I don't fucking want to)
     
  2. When did you get to meet Lenny Henry? He and his wife seem charming.
     
  3. BuggerAll

    BuggerAll LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I stayed in Mr Henry's establishment in Glasgow: Are you the miserable fcuker who was on reception or are you the fat mincing one?
     
  4. Or the most stupid question is Are you asked any stupid questions ?
     
  5. Has Lenny Henry got a hotel in Scotland?

    Whats it like? Are the staff moaning light fingered fuckers who abuse their master key responsibilities by going into rooms and masturbating furiously while the guests sleep.

    We should have a Lenny Henry thread.
     
  6. I also stayed in Mr Henry's gaff in Glasgow once - George Square I think. It was getting late on a Sunday 2145 when I arrived.
    "What time do you stop serving food?"
    "Half Ten, Sir"
    I dropped my bags in the room and was in the bar area by 2155.
    "A lager, and can I order some food, please"
    "Kitchen's closed"
    "It's open until half ten"
    "Kitchen's closed"
    "Do you have any sandwiches behind the bar?"
    "Kitchen's closed"
    "Do you have any crisps?"
    "Kitchen's closed"
    "Do you have any peanuts, sweets, mars bars, anything to eat? "
    "Kitchen's closed"
    I went to bed, disliking the soap-dodging weedgie cunts a little bit more than before.
    And Lenny Henry is a cunt too.
     
  7. I used to frequent the very nice PInn in Beckton, SE London. Met one or two really socially challenged arseholes there.
     
  8. At parties and social gatherings in general, "So you work in computers? My PC at home keeps on........". It has got to the point where I am now reverting back to the Dolphin trainer or Penguin stander upper jobs just to get some peace.
     
  9. Did you ever come across George Micheal?
     
  10. What do you call a pig with a spade up it's arrse?
    Dawn French

    as for the OP, being REME i got sick of being asked to fix stuff. Thats why i walted and told everyone i was RLC

    I'll get my cloak
     
  11. Yip, get that one all the time... I am both a photographer and in IT. There is no refuge from peeps who think that seen as I have now worked all week for money, that I will now somehow want to work the weekend for free... taking pics of their muntish fat doris and snotty nosed kids, or fixing their spunk covered laptops..... because I'm stupid or something.

    Fuck - why am I posting in this thread...!

    Oh yes... Lenny Henry = Cunt and Not even a funny cunt either.
     
  12. Talking of P...... L......'s, we stayed at the T...... L...... in Farnborough last year.
    Hi, just arrived but we can't find your cark park?
    We don't have one sir.
    You're a motel, and you don't have a car park?
    No sir, but you can park in the council one a quarter of a mile away if you pay.

    Half an hour later:
    Errr hello? My room, it doesn't seem to have a TV or a bath installed yet?
    Ahhhh yes sir, sorry, we havn't quite finished construction.
    Okay, so you opened a motel before you finished building it? Do you have any other rooms?
    Errrr sort of sir, but only a few have beds in......

    Fecking useless. Serves us right for staying at T...... L......, least we got to scare the stupid mare when she asked to look in our saxophone case - the one with 'Feinwerkbau' stamped on the side :)

    Back on thread.... The most annoying questions I get are 'why' and 'isn't it a waste of money?', whenever anything at all to do with spaceflight is mentioned.
     
  13. All asked by spotty youths at an army careers display in Wakefield.

    "What t'Army are yer in?" (Thinks: "oh for fuck sake!")

    "How many people av yer killed" (Answer: "None today, but ask him over there, he's killed hundreds" pointing out the RLC caterers)

    And, to my eternal shame, asked by a drooling, slack jawed, achnied squinting, physically and mentally challenged individual. "Can I join up" (Answer "not here mate, here take my card and show it to those gents over there, they'll give you a job" pointing out the Navy recruiting stand)
     
  14. "Have you ever killed a Paki?"

    "Fuck knows, all those cunting sand niggers look the fucking same to me!"
     
  15. dizzy.chick

    dizzy.chick Clanker Book Reviewer

    I work for a Charity and the first question is always "do you get paid?"

    grrrr! of course? would you work for free?????