Stupid people doing stupid things - seen today.

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Krazy_Ivan, Dec 10, 2012.

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  1. I like watching people whilst I eat..........

    Whilst enjoying my rather fine lunch at DFAC 1 in Kaia today, I watched a rather large American chap collect his sandwich from the wee Indian chef type fella. He than took it round and put it in the George Foreman thing in order to toast it. While he was waiting he wandered off to get some salad........ In the meantime another American lad did the exact same thing, but when he picked up the lid, the previous guy's sandwich stuck to the top of the grill thing, not seeing this he proceeded to put his own sandwich on the grill, he then also wandered off to get some chips or 'freedom fries' (or whatever the **** they call them) or something. The first fella returned to the grill opened it up to find two sandwiches 'melded' together, he looked at it briefly in surprise then picked up the whole mess and fucked off to eat it. The second lad returned opened the grill to discover it completely empty, he looked around, he looked on the floor, he looked at the ceiling, he actually hit the machine (from observing his startled reaction, the machine was in fact quite hot!), finally he came to the awful conclusion that his sandwich had fucked off or been fucked off with. Rather than shrug his shoulders in bemusement and go and get another one, he totally lost it and started accusing random strangers of "stealing his goddamned sandwich".

    In the meantime, I was trying not to choke on my dinner.

    I also watched some daft **** drive over his own foot, in the forklift he was working on!

    In what form, did did any other observed acts of retardation take place today?

    edit: I've no idea how this ended up in the Int Cell
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  2. I saw some mong start a thread in the wrong forum, it was ******* hilarious.
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  3. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    A bunch of ******* Yummies in London told me my new merchant website could not go live before Christmas because integrating the software platforms was a nightmare and....

    Knowing I am off out of it next Monday.

    I told them I could get the 08.00 flight tomorrow and be at their offices around 10.00. A double Espresso would be nice and we could have a catch-up.

    They say they will work on it through the night and sort the issue. So that's nice, isn't it?
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  4. I watched a miserably tired and severely hungover mate order a massive omelette in the US Galley in Kuwait, I watched him wolf down half then he watered his belly with a glass of fruit juice, I carried on watching him with one eye on the ice hockey when he suddenly twisted to one side and unloaded the lot onto the deck splattering the boots and lower legs of 4 or 5 people around him, unable to get a grip he kept honking and even ended up on his hands and knees, was ******* ace, my amusement was magnified by the fact that it was me he had been sat up with all night tanning in 2 bottles of Brandy, unlike me however he was duty booty the next day and I got to snooze it off all afternoon in the comfortable confines of the Sigs Store :)

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  5. Oh I like that, I am talking about stupid people doing stupid things; but rather poetically, I am in fact a stupid person doing a stupid thing. But I am now commenting on you having stupidly observed a stupid thread in the wrong forum, is this in itself a stupid thing? Were you perhaps lost?

    Well done, I apologised, I said I was sorry. What do you want, blood?

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  6. He must have been watching a Sabres game.
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  7. Not sure what that means but can I have a phot of your leaking tits Hank?
  8. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Well, since you ask, yeah. I'll get the eggs on the BBQ. And can we not hoy bread rolls at each other this time? It is soooo middle class.
  9. Fantastic, that must go down in history as the most random comment I've ever heard. The sad thing is it probably made perfect sense to Hank!

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  10. It depends, are they white, brown or wholemeal?

    Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
  11. Since when, exactly, have members of the upper reaches of British society been using words like "hoy"? I use words like hoy because I am a worthless, working class pleb. What is your excuse?
  12. By observation his excuse is that he is a lower middle class northern type desperately aspiring to be upper middle class but failing miserably...
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  13. I saw a German woman looking in disbelief at her green dustbin, all the others in the street had been emptied except hers, hers had an orange warning sticker placed on it. Apparently a top layer selection of old used oil filters, broken glass and tatty bits of old polystyrene are not materials which they will consider for two weeks time, when they come again to empty her by then stinking bin, she perhaps won't stand the ******* thing in front of my garage door.
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