Stupid motorway accidents

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Wench3000, Jan 22, 2007.

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  1. Whats the stupidist accident that you've seen on the motorway?

    Yesterday, driving down the M6 in the dark and rain, I luckily saw a BMW sailing down the middle lane with no lights on at all. It was by pure chance that I saw it but once it had driven past me it became invisible within 20 metres.

    Needless to say, within 1 mile there were a few cars (including said BMW) pirouetting on the motorway after a collision,
  2. BMW's must be good cars to make all the people who own them drive like utter c***s.
  3. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Not on a motorway but BMW related. I was at some traffic lights at a rather nasty junction in Southampton. Coming from the left was a Police BMW area car, with blues and two's going. On the outside of me a pratt in a BMW tried to jump the lights only to plow head on into the police car.
    Result 2 written off BMW's and a very sheepish looking civvy. Priceless
  4. You want to come and experience the joy of driving in Kuwait.

    The occasional rain shower only add's to the daily enjoyment of seeing top of the range motors reduced to nothing more than scrap metal.

    As for lights on cars during the evening "With God on your side" who need's them!!

    It doesn't matter anyway as the women can't see anything whilst wearing the Ninja fighting suits.

    Same goes for seat belts/ indicators and a whole host of other totally suicidal and very often fatal driving incidents.

    Children really are the best air bag you can ever have fitted to the front of your car in a accident, ideally helps if you have at least three of them sat on your lap or stood on the front seat (or in some case's sat on the drivers lap)

    And what is wrong with driving whilst using your mobile, lighting your cigarette, playing with your 'love' beads at the same time as having a conversation with your head turned?

    Of course to get the full enjoyment out of these things you must be doing at least a 'ton' overtaking any side including the hard shoulder or central reservation whilst indicating left, which in reality means you are taking the next right and you are going to make the turn without looking or a single thought for anyone behind you, even though you have actually just about gone past the turning.
  5. The God is n my side thing is not wholly Muslim, I remeber the bus drivers in the old days in Malta who only sat half on the seat to leave space for God to sit beside them.

  6. The Balkans Driving Test.

    Manoeuvre, Horn (Pass)
    Horn, Manoeuvre (Pass).
    Horn, Horn (static or mobile) (Pass)
    Park on road in clearly allocated space (Fail)
    Double park, park on pavement, park wherever the fcuk - (Pass)
    Driving Test (Bung - Pass).
    Driving Test ( Legal - Are you kidding!).
    Use of lights and indicators (Fail).
  7. Not really crash related, but on the vaguely relevant theme of cars, I was on the way to the pub the other night, lost in my own thoughts, when I saw the reflection of blue lights in the window.

    Hoping to see some something akin to the Brinks-Mat or Iranian embassy siege, I was disappointed to note that there wasnt a police vehicle in sight, only a brand-new Evo 8 in metallic black, with a proper bodykit, with two traffic cops standing by it.

    Being a sensitive bloke, I hastened to see which chav had been pinched for speeding this time, when I realised that the car had blue lights under the front grille, and a row of them under the spoilers as well as an LED display stating 'POLICE'.

    Attempts to take a picture of said vehicle were sadly thwarted, but it did liven up the pub chat afterwards.

  8. I was driving through Kuwait when a sandstorm came along. As visibility was nothing, I pulled over to the side of the road to stop. Apparently this isn't the done thing and they take the view that "God willing" they'll be alright if they just crack on.

    When it lifted, I continued driving and the side of the road was littered with the smashed, overturned, burning remains of more than a few cars.


  9. Ever play "Traffic Lights Roulette"? with our shemagh-wearing bretheren?

    In Saudi, there was a distinct tendency for locals to creep forward at the traffic lights, often as many as 6 cars (two going left, two straight on and two right, but not necessarily lined up in the right order...) sloooowly creeping into the junction.
    When the lights turned green, their countrymen would sound their horns as the signal to "GO!" and off they went, trusting blindly in Allah and their mates.
    It didn't take us long to cotton on to this blind faith, which we proceeded to put to the test - you've guessed it - we'd all sound our horns whilst the lights were still red. Oh how we laughed as they shot forward into the path of the oncoming traffic! Much applying of brakes and swerving... :muhaha:
  10. Even though I haven't been doing this job for long, I've seen a few good RTCs. On patrol of the M60 with GMP when we got tasked to a RTC, some bloke had been hairing down an on slip in a scooby, to join the main carriage when his back end got clipped by another motorist who took offence at being overtaken. Said scooby mounted offside kerb onto grass verge rolled several times down embankment across all 3 lanes of rush hour M60 hitting the central reservation before coming to rest facing the oncoming traffic. Wrote his car off completly, didn't hit any other cars and the only injury he received was a slight scratch to his arm. I went up to him made sure he was ok and asked him for 6 numbers between 1-49 because he was one lucky cnut to walk away from that!!!
  11. Kuwaity roundabouts are probably the scariest driving experience ever. Jinglies driving directly at you in a Bentley whilst smiling and waving, causing you to slam your anchors on. Even the ninjas give you a wave as they attempt to sideswipe you on the way to the shopping mall on Gulf Arabia Street. However once you get into the swing of it entering a roundabout without looking left is adrenalin tastic
  12. here are nutbar drivers whereever one goes..
    In my neck of the woods the police often have road ' blitzes' on holiday weekends to trap motorists who flout the rules of the roads..Well publicized before hand, they still manage to catch nutters who totally forgot they are driving a potentially lethal machine..
    Guy was stopped cooking his supper in a microwave on the front seat, had it wired and plugged into his cigarette lighter and was busy stirring the pot when halted.. One lass was tagged for not wearing her seatbelt.. Explanation was that she just had breast implants and was afraid the strap would ' distrupt' the healing...

    takes all kinds, sadly, the ones who deserve to be removed from the carpool aren't always the ones who get hit...
  13. Naples, not so much the town. The locals drive at mach5 but don't have that many smashes, lots of tooting and aggresive driving but thats it - although god knows how not!

    Get them on the autostrada and what a difference. I have seen people driving up off ramps to then decided it was the wrong one or changed their mind and then simply turn around or reverse back down... often stright into the poor idiot who is now driving up.
  14. Had another dozy cow in Cumbria. A woman from Preston couldn't sleep at night so decided to go for a drive on the M6. Got all the way to Junction 44 at the top, turned round and headed south. Got to the first services, instead of pulling in carried on driving, fell asleep, totalled her car and gashed her head quite badly stupid cow! Nearly took a bridge support out with her :frustrated:
  15. Again in the Middle East (Bahrain) I drove by a very small bit of metal that had once been a Farrari (this accident made the local papers, no way could you have ID'd it). About 100 metres before it was another small bit of metal and above that was an overhead moterway sign that was half missing. The Farrari (obviously at some speed) had hit the other car, taken off at least 12 ft, taken out the sign and continued its flight on to its final resting place. The 2 Saudis inside didn't survive.

    They have no fear and no clue.