Stupid female rules!

#1
Big disscussion at work this morning, about our wives and the stupid rules and obsessions they have at home. For instance, Mrs Infiltrator has cushions on the sofa that cannot be sat on, they have to be moved away, in case they get creased, and put back when you stand up. Also we have pillows, not for sleeping but for putting back on the bed in the morning so it looks nice. WHY????????????????????????????????????????? Arrggghhhh.

One of the lads has a wife that has some habits that seem a bit close to OCD for my liking, and I think she might need help....professional help.

What does your other half demand/require of you that has no reason and drives you up the wall?
 
#3
putteesinmyhands said:
Foreplay?
:clap: Thank you! A one-worder that has given me my first genuine laugh of the day!
 
#5
Ok,

hows this, only eats food she likes on the left hand side of her mouth???

when a light switch has two switches they have to be at the same angle????

same for pillows, and cushions on the bed. folding towls in the bathroom in the same way???

arranging the tins of food in the cupboard al la supper market, all faced off.

in short she is a fecking nut case.
 
#7
#8
Mrs Mukhabarat is obsessed but only in the bedroom. She always, but always says no to all approaches for nooky. She is obsessed with the word 'No' If I hadn't seen her middle name on the Marriage Certificate I'd be sure it was Frigidaire'


Then again we have all this cushions and pillows nonsense and house proud is an understatement. The only thing she doesn't do is check the top of the doors with a white glove. She went apeshit Saturday when she discovered the soap was dirty after I'd washed my hands. Any of you blokes want to offer sensible and humorous [humorous anyway] advice on how to handle the delicate bedroom situation I'd be interested.
 
#9
Cushions? don't talk to me about cushions!! The Fenian Bride (TFB) goes on and on about her cushions being sat on or not plumped up before leaving the sofa.

Fruit bowls - and I quote "Who's been eating all the fruit?" Two days later "This fruit needs eating up or it will go off!" Make your Fenian mind up for pity's sake. If this particular wierdness isn't symptomatic of schizophrenic tendencies then both of me is the Duke of Edinburgh...

Meals...what do you call a woman who cannot put a fork in her mouth unless it contains a sample of every food stuff on the plate? So if it is beef, yorkie pud, potatoes, beans, cabbage, carrot, cheesy, leeks, mustard, gravy and parsnips we are eating, then a fork must have beef, yorkie pud, potatoes, beans, cabbage, carrot et cetera on it. I call her TFB but...That is a clear OCD thing.
 
#11
Cuddles said:
Cushions? don't talk to me about cushions!! The Fenian Bride (TFB) goes on and on about her cushions being sat on or not plumped up before leaving the sofa.

Fruit bowls - and I quote "Who's been eating all the fruit?" Two days later "This fruit needs eating up or it will go off!" Make your Fenian mind up for pity's sake. If this particular wierdness isn't symptomatic of schizophrenic tendencies then both of me is the Duke of Edinburgh...

Meals...what do you call a woman who cannot put a fork in her mouth unless it contains a sample of every food stuff on the plate? So if it is beef, yorkie pud, potatoes, beans, cabbage, carrot, cheesy, leeks, mustard, gravy and parsnips we are eating, then a fork must have beef, yorkie pud, potatoes, beans, cabbage, carrot et cetera on it. I call her TFB but...That is a clear OCD thing.
Sh1t!!! My wife is a bigamist!
 
#12
My longterm girlfriend seems pretty normal... at the moment. Is this thread a taster of things to come?

Also, isn't it ironic (and slightly worrying) that load of squaddies/ex-squaddies, who, don't forget, had to make their socks smile in their locker layout during training, think their other half's hangups are weird?
 
#14
Leaving the house light up like blackpool frigging illuminations, so that "people" think we are in, and then moaning to all who will listen when our electricity bill is the equvilant of the national debt of Bolivia
 
#15
Facing off the tins means less time scrabbling about in the pantry/cupboard looking for what you want!! Mine are not only faced off they are lined up as well :D But then cushions are for sitting on and lightswitches are in all positions in my house so not totally weird! But the 50 cushions on a bed thing.....what the hell is that about?! When I get to the bedroom I want to fall into bed and that's it...well maybe not :wink:
 
#16
Infiltrator said:
Mrs Infiltrator has cushions on the sofa that cannot be sat on, they have to be moved away, in case they get creased, and put back when you stand up.
What's wrong with this?

Could this be why my teenmonster hates me? :D
 
#17
how about this...

Big argument over going out drinking with her mum and sister. But then says "oh, if you meet up with them in town, thats ok - i just don't want you arranging to go out drinking with them."

What the fukcing difference whether i meet them first or part way through the night?
 
#18
Cuddles wrote

Fruit bowls - and I quote "Who's been eating all the fruit?" Two days later "This fruit needs eating up or it will go off!"

Every woman in my my life has given me sh1t for that!
 
#19
jasonl64 said:
going out drinking with her mum and sister.
I think we need to hear a little more about this. Are we talking about a little incest action here. The promise of a mother / daughter variant?

I am dribbling in anticipation.......
 
#20
Red_Dragon said:
Filling the bin in the kitchen to over-fcuking flowing and then wondering why the bag splits when you, sorry " I" pull it out.
Being a singalie, when I go home to ma and pa and I hapen to put rubish in the bin in the room I have to go to casulty to have my head reatached to my body! As all rubish should be but in the out side bin / compost tub!!!! Whats the point of having bins in the house?
 

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