Stupid female rules!

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by Infiltrator, Jul 13, 2006.

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  1. Big disscussion at work this morning, about our wives and the stupid rules and obsessions they have at home. For instance, Mrs Infiltrator has cushions on the sofa that cannot be sat on, they have to be moved away, in case they get creased, and put back when you stand up. Also we have pillows, not for sleeping but for putting back on the bed in the morning so it looks nice. WHY????????????????????????????????????????? Arrggghhhh.

    One of the lads has a wife that has some habits that seem a bit close to OCD for my liking, and I think she might need help....professional help.

    What does your other half demand/require of you that has no reason and drives you up the wall?
  2. :clap: Thank you! A one-worder that has given me my first genuine laugh of the day!
  3. Fore what?
  4. Ok,

    hows this, only eats food she likes on the left hand side of her mouth???

    when a light switch has two switches they have to be at the same angle????

    same for pillows, and cushions on the bed. folding towls in the bathroom in the same way???

    arranging the tins of food in the cupboard al la supper market, all faced off.

    in short she is a fecking nut case.
  5. stupid rule about not leaving skid marks in the khazi when we have 'guests' staying over
  6. 'fore yer fukc 'er!
  7. Mrs Mukhabarat is obsessed but only in the bedroom. She always, but always says no to all approaches for nooky. She is obsessed with the word 'No' If I hadn't seen her middle name on the Marriage Certificate I'd be sure it was Frigidaire'

    Then again we have all this cushions and pillows nonsense and house proud is an understatement. The only thing she doesn't do is check the top of the doors with a white glove. She went apeshit Saturday when she discovered the soap was dirty after I'd washed my hands. Any of you blokes want to offer sensible and humorous [humorous anyway] advice on how to handle the delicate bedroom situation I'd be interested.
  8. Cushions? don't talk to me about cushions!! The Fenian Bride (TFB) goes on and on about her cushions being sat on or not plumped up before leaving the sofa.

    Fruit bowls - and I quote "Who's been eating all the fruit?" Two days later "This fruit needs eating up or it will go off!" Make your Fenian mind up for pity's sake. If this particular wierdness isn't symptomatic of schizophrenic tendencies then both of me is the Duke of Edinburgh...

    Meals...what do you call a woman who cannot put a fork in her mouth unless it contains a sample of every food stuff on the plate? So if it is beef, yorkie pud, potatoes, beans, cabbage, carrot, cheesy, leeks, mustard, gravy and parsnips we are eating, then a fork must have beef, yorkie pud, potatoes, beans, cabbage, carrot et cetera on it. I call her TFB but...That is a clear OCD thing.
  9. What's weird about that? :oops:
  10. Sh1t!!! My wife is a bigamist!
  11. My longterm girlfriend seems pretty normal... at the moment. Is this thread a taster of things to come?

    Also, isn't it ironic (and slightly worrying) that load of squaddies/ex-squaddies, who, don't forget, had to make their socks smile in their locker layout during training, think their other half's hangups are weird?
  12. Filling the bin in the kitchen to over-fcuking flowing and then wondering why the bag splits when you, sorry " I" pull it out.
  13. Leaving the house light up like blackpool frigging illuminations, so that "people" think we are in, and then moaning to all who will listen when our electricity bill is the equvilant of the national debt of Bolivia
  14. Facing off the tins means less time scrabbling about in the pantry/cupboard looking for what you want!! Mine are not only faced off they are lined up as well :D But then cushions are for sitting on and lightswitches are in all positions in my house so not totally weird! But the 50 cushions on a bed thing.....what the hell is that about?! When I get to the bedroom I want to fall into bed and that's it...well maybe not :wink: