Stupid fecking rules?????

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by hallveg, Jul 3, 2007.

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  1. I am in the unusual position as anyone who knows me will testify to, of recently having lost some weight (3 stone)
    Due to the Baghdad crap yourself thin diet plan.

    On returning to camp I found my uniform no longer had the same fat man in spandex look, so, in an effort to show off I decided to exchange them in a direction that I am not used to going, down!

    I arrived at the clothing store with my 3 sets of kit only to be told that I can only exchange 1 per month???

    "WTF for” exclaimed I
    "To stop you exchanging all your kit at once" says the stores mongo.
    "But I am hardly likely to grow out of it in monthly intervals am I" says I
    "Yeah’s not for that" says mongo
    "It’s, not for what" says I
    And this is the pearl

    "Issuing all at once"

    So for the next month I have 1 set of correctly fitting combats because of dopey bustards’. Any one else have a drama with stupid rules?
  2. Your fucking Lucky

    i went to the stores to get some ammo only to be told SQMS aint available come back later this went on for a week somebody lent me a mag of 20

    i finally tipped up during the TIME WINDOW dgiven to be told the SQMS was busy i needed some bloody ammo when was a good time to get some

    to find out he was busy just getting fucking beds of a four tonner at the back of the stores

    No soldiers at the front gat dont need fucking ammo NOOOOOO !!!!!! fucking tossers
  3. Don't bother.

    You'll be a fat cnut again in no time.
  4. When I was with an infantry unit and we changed over from the old 1157 to an electronic version not only was I suddenly listed as having full highland ceremonial dress but as my sizes had been entered incorrectly I was unable to get any exchanges done to my actual size as the computer wouldn't allow it. Some stores tit had put me down for kit that would have looked like lycra on mini me ffs.
  5. BWAA-HAH-HAH! Wonder if we'll hear the other side of this tale from whoever you pissed off in that "nastiest trick" thread. :D
  6. "Stores are for STORING"

    "You want WHAT"

    "If it fits bring it back"
  7. Reminds me of an MT nco at a unit i was with when i was a tom. (used to pop round his office for a sly ciggy),had been whinging about how he had issued out all his white fleet except for one car, some snco rang up saying he was on his way down and needed a car as he had just been fastballed and had to go somewhere.
    Mt nco 'dont know why he is coming down i havent got fcuk all'
    Stunned silence from myself and other people on the skive then someone piped up and said
    'but you have a car outside that isnt being used'
    His reply ' yes but that one is in case anyone needs it in an emergency'
    Another stunned silence then reply from someone else 'but he needs it for an emergency he has just had a fastball'
    Took him a minute or so to click and realise he was being a d1ck and issued the car when the snco came down.
  8. It's the same in the RAF... I was there when the following occured:-

    Sgt. Niel * needed new, size 9, RAF issue shoes. So we wander into stores to get a pair. We wait for the standard 5 minutes before a stacker deems fit to put down his cuppa and come out front and we ask for said size nines, (Mate Neil is absolutely entitled to them). Senior Aircraftsman stacker says he has to go out back to see if they have any... While waiting I wandered up and down the long counter and gleefully return to Neil to tell him I found the shoes and, lo and behold there is _one_ pair in the bin marked "Size 9". "Magic" we think... We should have known... :roll:

    Five minutes later the stacker comes wombling back and tells Neil "We don't have any size nines left"... Hah!!! We have the little skate... We direct him down the counter to the bins full of shoes and direct his attention to the bin marked "Size 9"... The conversation went like this, (condensed version):-

    Him: You can't have those
    Neil: Why not?
    Him: Because someone might need them.
    Neil: That would be me. I need them.
    Him: No, someone else might need them.
    Neil: Give them to me. I need them.
    Him: I can't. Someone might need them.
    Neil: Get your boss

    He disappears for a few minutes and a Flight Sergeant stacker appears.

    Neil: I need those size nine shoes please.
    FS Stacker: You can't have them.
    Neil: Why, I need them
    FS Stacker: They are my last pair...
    Neil: and I need them

    You get the drift here... The conversation went on for a couple of minutes... We walked out without the shoes!!!

  9. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Sorry my post meant the 'stackers' and I did not mean the last to mean you - until I read it again!!!!!
  10. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Hey - you lost your weight in 1 month(ish) therefore you should get the replacements in the same timeframe. However, I am with the Guru (I'll burn in Hell for that confession), you will have to replace them again once you have sampled the delights of PAYD.


  11. SHOES?? Fuck off you brillcream poof and close the door after you. Shoes indeed........
  12. I always liked to ask why we always had to use gash, knackered kit on FTX that was always breaking down when we had a mob store full of nice new kit that had never been taken out of the wrapper and, more importantly to my obviously fcuked up sense of logic, never been tested? The inevitable reply - cos it's in the mob store for mobilisation. Well, what happens when we mobilise and we find out it doesn't work because it's never been tested and been stuck on a shelf for X years? We'll make do with the kit we use all the time. That would be the gash, knackered kit that's always breaking down? Just checking!
  13. Thank God they did'nt ask for Slippers..What the fcuk would your "advice" have been to them then :D :lol:
  14. You know... with all the fcuking gay shit most of the Army regiments are asked to wear I'd shut the fcuk up if I were you before I ask what pansy fcuking regiment you were in and what color feathers you had to wear, (WHITE probably - and you're probably too young and stupid to know what that means... :roll: )

    Oh, and by the way... It's Brylcreem you ignorant cnut!!!!

    There's always a fcukwit ready to destroy any conversation... Why is it always you?
  15. Like the courses that always get canceled because there are not enough applicants, when 7 blokes in my cpy alone need to get on it and have taken the holiday just to get told 2 days before leaving, its been canceled, sorry pte c?o?s your fast track is off, so he sorts out work then finds out it went ahead and why wasn't he there. Too much bull sh1t in the army and not enough bull's b0llox.Slightly off topic but wanted to get it off my chest.