Stupid fecking rules?????

#1
I am in the unusual position as anyone who knows me will testify to, of recently having lost some weight (3 stone)
Due to the Baghdad crap yourself thin diet plan.

On returning to camp I found my uniform no longer had the same fat man in spandex look, so, in an effort to show off I decided to exchange them in a direction that I am not used to going, down!

I arrived at the clothing store with my 3 sets of kit only to be told that I can only exchange 1 per month???

"WTF for” exclaimed I
"To stop you exchanging all your kit at once" says the stores mongo.
"But I am hardly likely to grow out of it in monthly intervals am I" says I
"Yeah but....erm....like.....it’s not for that" says mongo
"It’s, not for what" says I
And this is the pearl

"Issuing all at once"

So for the next month I have 1 set of correctly fitting combats because of dopey bustards’. Any one else have a drama with stupid rules?
 
#2
Your fucking Lucky

i went to the stores to get some ammo only to be told SQMS aint available come back later this went on for a week somebody lent me a mag of 20

i finally tipped up during the TIME WINDOW dgiven to be told the SQMS was busy i needed some bloody ammo when was a good time to get some

to find out he was busy just getting fucking beds of a four tonner at the back of the stores

No soldiers at the front gat dont need fucking ammo NOOOOOO !!!!!! fucking tossers
 
#3
Don't bother.

You'll be a fat cnut again in no time.
 
#4
When I was with an infantry unit and we changed over from the old 1157 to an electronic version not only was I suddenly listed as having full highland ceremonial dress but as my sizes had been entered incorrectly I was unable to get any exchanges done to my actual size as the computer wouldn't allow it. Some stores tit had put me down for kit that would have looked like lycra on mini me ffs.
 
#5
theoriginalphantom said:
When I was with an infantry unit and we changed over from the old 1157 to an electronic version not only was I suddenly listed as having full highland ceremonial dress but as my sizes had been entered incorrectly I was unable to get any exchanges done to my actual size as the computer wouldn't allow it. Some stores tit had put me down for kit that would have looked like lycra on mini me ffs.
BWAA-HAH-HAH! Wonder if we'll hear the other side of this tale from whoever you pissed off in that "nastiest trick" thread. :D
 
#7
Reminds me of an MT nco at a unit i was with when i was a tom. (used to pop round his office for a sly ciggy),had been whinging about how he had issued out all his white fleet except for one car, some snco rang up saying he was on his way down and needed a car as he had just been fastballed and had to go somewhere.
Mt nco 'dont know why he is coming down i havent got fcuk all'
Stunned silence from myself and other people on the skive then someone piped up and said
'but you have a car outside that isnt being used'
His reply ' yes but that one is in case anyone needs it in an emergency'
Another stunned silence then reply from someone else 'but he needs it for an emergency he has just had a fastball'
Took him a minute or so to click and realise he was being a d1ck and issued the car when the snco came down.
 
#8
It's the same in the RAF... I was there when the following occured:-

Sgt. Niel * needed new, size 9, RAF issue shoes. So we wander into stores to get a pair. We wait for the standard 5 minutes before a stacker deems fit to put down his cuppa and come out front and we ask for said size nines, (Mate Neil is absolutely entitled to them). Senior Aircraftsman stacker says he has to go out back to see if they have any... While waiting I wandered up and down the long counter and gleefully return to Neil to tell him I found the shoes and, lo and behold there is _one_ pair in the bin marked "Size 9". "Magic" we think... We should have known... :roll:

Five minutes later the stacker comes wombling back and tells Neil "We don't have any size nines left"... Hah!!! We have the little skate... We direct him down the counter to the bins full of shoes and direct his attention to the bin marked "Size 9"... The conversation went like this, (condensed version):-

Him: You can't have those
Neil: Why not?
Him: Because someone might need them.
Neil: That would be me. I need them.
Him: No, someone else might need them.
Neil: Give them to me. I need them.
Him: I can't. Someone might need them.
Neil: Get your boss

He disappears for a few minutes and a Flight Sergeant stacker appears.

Neil: I need those size nine shoes please.
FS Stacker: You can't have them.
Neil: Why, I need them
FS Stacker: They are my last pair...
Neil: and I need them

You get the drift here... The conversation went on for a couple of minutes... We walked out without the shoes!!!

W@nkers
N
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#9
Airborne_Aircrew said:
It's the same in the RAF... I was there when the following occured:-

Sgt. Niel * needed new, size 9, RAF issue shoes. So we wander into stores to get a pair. We wait for the standard 5 minutes before a stacker deems fit to put down his cuppa and come out front and we ask for said size nines, (Mate Neil is absolutely entitled to them). Senior Aircraftsman stacker says he has to go out back to see if they have any... While waiting I wandered up and down the long counter and gleefully return to Neil to tell him I found the shoes and, lo and behold there is _one_ pair in the bin marked "Size 9". "Magic" we think... We should have known... :roll:

Five minutes later the stacker comes wombling back and tells Neil "We don't have any size nines left"... Hah!!! We have the little skate... We direct him down the counter to the bins full of shoes and direct his attention to the bin marked "Size 9"... The conversation went like this, (condensed version):-

Him: You can't have those
Neil: Why not?
Him: Because someone might need them.
Neil: That would be me. I need them.
Him: No, someone else might need them.
Neil: Give them to me. I need them.
Him: I can't. Someone might need them.
Neil: Get your boss

He disappears for a few minutes and a Flight Sergeant stacker appears.

Neil: I need those size nine shoes please.
FS Stacker: You can't have them.
Neil: Why, I need them
FS Stacker: They are my last pair...
Neil: and I need them

You get the drift here... The conversation went on for a couple of minutes... We walked out without the shoes!!! FFS - WHY?W@nkers
N
Sorry my post meant the 'stackers' and I did not mean the last to mean you - until I read it again!!!!!
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#10
hallveg said:
I am in the unusual position as anyone who knows me will testify to, of recently having lost some weight (3 stone)
Due to the Baghdad crap yourself thin diet plan.

On returning to camp I found my uniform no longer had the same fat man in spandex look, so, in an effort to show off I decided to exchange them in a direction that I am not used to going, down!

I arrived at the clothing store with my 3 sets of kit only to be told that I can only exchange 1 per month???

"WTF for” exclaimed I
"To stop you exchanging all your kit at once" says the stores mongo.
"But I am hardly likely to grow out of it in monthly intervals am I" says I
"Yeah but....erm....like.....it’s not for that" says mongo
"It’s, not for what" says I
And this is the pearl

"Issuing all at once"

So for the next month I have 1 set of correctly fitting combats because of dopey bustards’. Any one else have a drama with stupid rules?
Hey - you lost your weight in 1 month(ish) therefore you should get the replacements in the same timeframe. However, I am with the Guru (I'll burn in Hell for that confession), you will have to replace them again once you have sampled the delights of PAYD.

Regards

A-Y
 
#12
I always liked to ask why we always had to use gash, knackered kit on FTX that was always breaking down when we had a mob store full of nice new kit that had never been taken out of the wrapper and, more importantly to my obviously fcuked up sense of logic, never been tested? The inevitable reply - cos it's in the mob store for mobilisation. Well, what happens when we mobilise and we find out it doesn't work because it's never been tested and been stuck on a shelf for X years? We'll make do with the kit we use all the time. That would be the gash, knackered kit that's always breaking down? Just checking!
 
#14
SHOES?? Fuck off you brillcream poof and close the door after you. Shoes indeed........
You know... with all the fcuking gay shit most of the Army regiments are asked to wear I'd shut the fcuk up if I were you before I ask what pansy fcuking regiment you were in and what color feathers you had to wear, (WHITE probably - and you're probably too young and stupid to know what that means... :roll: )

Oh, and by the way... It's Brylcreem you ignorant cnut!!!!

There's always a fcukwit ready to destroy any conversation... Why is it always you?
 
#15
Like the courses that always get canceled because there are not enough applicants, when 7 blokes in my cpy alone need to get on it and have taken the holiday just to get told 2 days before leaving, its been canceled, sorry pte c?o?s your fast track is off, so he sorts out work then finds out it went ahead and why wasn't he there. Too much bull sh1t in the army and not enough bull's b0llox.Slightly off topic but wanted to get it off my chest.
 
#17
Once tried to exchange a pair of DMS boots, and watched amazed when the duty blanket-stacker got out a tyre depth gauge and told me they were good for ages yet. Had to point out the big split along the welt (or is that walt ?)

Remember taking the bits of your pot mug down to the stores and being billed the full price for an obviously second-hand replacement.

Still - I had the last laugh - I kept my button stick on discharge. You never know when it might come in handy.
 
#18
Airborne_Aircrew - he was just taking the p!ss. And this is the NAAFI.
Not according to the nasty little PM I just got from him he wasn't... From the tone of the PM I think he had a catastrophic sense of humor failure...

Funny, he didn't mention his regiment... Huh, Oh well... Probably a bit embarrassing for the poor lad...
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#19
It's not just in the forces this happens, although I had lot's of instances there. Years ago, when a copper ( Peel was still Home Sec) I was on a late shift, and writing a report. Only one typewriter in station avai;able, for us to use. Pre computer days, so most things written by hand.
My pen ran out, and I had no spare, so I went to station sgt, who had keys to goodie cupboard. 'Can I have a new pen, please?'
'Where is your old one?'
'Here, it's ran out'.
'No, there is still a bit of ink there. Bring it back when completely empty. Warm it under a hot tap, will work some more'.

I made sure I always had a selection of pens with me from then on.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
topcat68 The NAAFI Bar 21
E The Intelligence Cell 5
Forces_Sweetheart The Intelligence Cell 17

Similar threads

Latest Threads

Top