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Stupid Army sayings

i suggest you lot screw the nut your in your own time now otherwise you'll have to be in my in tray ( how amusing it would actually be if your ssm walked in to find you stood on his desk)
"Get your subnormal fcuking head buried in that pillow you cnut, Raise your arse up, thats it.........now push like you're having a dump. Thats beautiful...........................now bite on that pillow crow and if you tell the OC I'll gut you, your friends and all your family. Now reach back and stroke my balls"
"If your not fast, your last."
"Wind your neck in."
"Threaten to knock me out again and i'll AGAI you"

I also hate people who use "actions on" in a none military context.


Actions on that pub being heeving... What are the actions on the wives wanting to come!

When describing a very ugly female with a dental problem:

She's got teeth like a fighting patrol - all cammed up and well spaced out!!!

You would definitely Mag to Grid her!

One beloved of REME Tiffies " Right you lot back on your heads " :?: What the FCUK is that all about ?? Wouldn't it be easier up the right way tiff ? !!

Mind you Tiffies were so far up their own arses it probably was easier on their heads !!! 8)
Did you comb your hair with a thunderflash

You room looks like the impact area at Larkhill

Interview without coffee

Stand tall before the man

Whats the capital of Ireland, "that right dublin" (to induce running)

Both feet in my in tray

Hurry up and wait

say again over (in conversation)

Roger so far (in conversation)
'Start sparking, or I'll spark you'
'Let's move with the speed of a thousand gazelles'
'let's pop smoke' (used when wanting to leave anywhere)
and my favourite "of course it's safe"
"Your room looks like an indoor grenade range".

"Smart as a carrot"

Sandhurst CSM/CSgt muttering menacingly in your ear "Am I hurting you sir? I should be - I'm standing on your shagging hair!!"
gunfighter said:
One beloved of REME Tiffies " Right you lot back on your heads " :?: What the FCUK is that all about ?? Wouldn't it be easier up the right way tiff ? !!
Doesn't it refer to the joke about the guy who goes to hell?

The devil gives him the choice of eternity in one of two rooms. Room 1 is full of blokes doing drill and Room 2 is full of blokes standing up to their necks drinking tea. Needless to say the bloke chooses Room 2, so he files in and joins in. About 30 seconds later one of those big factory whistles goes off "toot toot". Some big red guy (horns, tail etc) storms in and says "right you f***ing maggots, NAAFI break over, get back on your f***ing heads".


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