Stump fun

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Mighty_doh_nut, Apr 6, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. We've got a couple or three amputees amongst us now, and while its good fun to hoof them out of their chairs, confiscate limbs and generally abuse them I reckon they could be entertaining.

    Mark5433 was asked in another thread whether he could provide me with a stump pic, with a johnny pulled over it and a malteser stuck to the end...

    What other Stump fun can we have?

    Have any of you ever had a lady nibble the end erotically?

    This isn't an invite to links of amputee porn or anythign thats been done dozens of times before, original requests please.
  2. I wonder if you can get dildo attachments for them....

  3. I am trying to get my girlfriend to let me fuck her with my stump but i have problems:

    1. Her gash is too small
    2. My stump is too big
    3. If i get a nervous twitch(im prone to them) she will be thrown around the room.
    4. Its likely she would end up in hospital
  4. Lube and a bit of Rohypnol will sort out 1-3, and if you're not getting number 4 at the end of every session, you're not doing it right!
  5. The traditional hook would provide a worthy alternative to the claw hammer that gets suggested in most threads.
  6. I was watching some documentary or other last night with an Amputee with a running blade, I thought to myself how cool that would be sharpened up and then giving someone a high kick and slicing their head clean off
  7. They all say that!
  8. give ot a kid for the school 3 legged race a bit of black nasty and away you go no stupid class retard getting dragged along on his arse screaming for a laboon
  9. You should know all about stumps with your sceptic thing between your legs.
  10. I am surprised that no-one has had the enterprise to convert the amputated leg into an umbrella stand. In Victorian times elephant's foot umbrella stands were all the rage and cost a lot of money.

  11. could a similar idea but for hands/arms work? ie hand attached to a wall or door with araldite, palm facing down, fingers lightly upturned, hey presto coat hooks!!
  12. Being the perfect gentleman I will often lie on my back at the bar with stump raised. This provides an extra bar stool for a female drinker ... or a bloke who might be as 'loose as a moose'.
  13. damn, just did a google search and it would appear someone has already had my idea

    Attached Files:

  14. Command_doh

    Command_doh LE Book Reviewer

    Can't you gaffa tape a rampant rabbit vibrator to the stump and give it some welly that way? Bit of enthusiastic waggling?
  15. You have to be gentle with Rampant Rabbits they tend to I found out :roll: