Stuff that annoys me at the gym...

Discussion in 'Health and Fitness' started by Gassing_Badgers, Jul 6, 2011.

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  1. Ok, perhaps I'm just a grumpy old sod, but here are a few things that get me going (today):

    1) Women on the cardio machines at the lowest speed or resistance setting, reading a copy of Marie Claire without a single bead of sweat or other sign of exertion
    2) As above, but chatting amongst eachother, or on handsfree headset
    3) The tools who can't seem to understand the concept of the circuit in circuit training, and either fail to follow the numbered stations (1 to 20 - is it THAT hard?!) or just sit on one station, half-heartedly pushing out reps, and wondering why there is a queue of annoyed people waiting to use their machine. There's even a red/green light on the wall to time you between stations FFS!
    4) People who don't seem to do anything, other than drink bottled water and move between resistance machines, talking to friends and occasionally pushing a weight
    5) Chicks who hog the abdominal machines and exercise mats with their 'bums and tums' routines. Half of them would benefit from putting in even the slightest effort (see 1 above), whilst the other half appear to be sculpted from marble, have nothing to shed, and are probably feeling guilty about looking at that cookie during their lunchbreak at the PR consultancy.
    6) Anyone who doesn't appear to be suffering like I am!

    There, got that off my chest - I'm a grumpy (out of shape) old man. This probably belongs in the NAAFI, so happy if any mod wants to move this.
  2. I got a bollocking for reading an Eddy Nugent book whilst on the bikey thing one day.

    I'd rather read than look at fat men's fat arrses.
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  3. P.S. Stop with the swearing at me. Jim is a friend, not someone I want to spend time with, his bird would batter me.

    G Y M. Ewww. Sweaty fat men.
  4. The more machines, mirrors and chrome a gym has, the less worthwhile it is. My own is in an industrial estate, and has 3 ergometers (which only get used for warmups occasionally) 1 small mirror above the bathroom sink, and any chrome that was on the weights originally has long since worn off.

    The ventilation consists of dirty great fans on the walls, and if you're cold, you're not working hard enough.
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  5. Are you actually in prison?
    • Like Like x 6
  6. You need a few mirrors for form you amateur!!

    I lost the plot a few months back when the 20 year old 'roided up "Gym instructor" spent 20 minutes sat on the only bench surrounded by free weights checking himself out in the mirror while on his ******* phone discussin what he was gonna be doing for the weekend

    He was a bit ******* shocked at my flash

    Not gym but old birds or any other ******* swimming in lanes, dawdling, all over the place with no lane discipline or realisation that I'm gonna push their faces in the scum trough till they stop moving
  7. Blimey, seems not only is there car rage, but there is also gym rage!
  8. What's wrong with old birds?

    Bigbird and I still have you on our No5 list.

    The gym is so overrated though. It makes you skinny and stuff.

    I also generally vomit when I leave. Not through my effort, just because of the smell.
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  9. Old birds!!! FFS to some of us you and BigBird are young girls!!
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  10. No, it just seems that way. There's no rape. None.
  11. No rape?

    I'm not going to Shellharbour then. It sounds crap. Bollocks to that. I'm off to New England or Florida.
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  12. Gyms are for gays. Its a place of worship for them.

    best thing to do is go running on the road / field rather than one of them treadmills .

    also, your own shed with a makeshift bench and a rear axle from a ford transit instead of a barbell is preferable in my opinion
  13. udipur

    udipur LE Book Reviewer


    And Swarfega's for wimmin.

  14. Cold_Collation

    Cold_Collation LE Book Reviewer

    Add to the list women, generally middle-aged, who smother themselves in perfume before entering the gym - thus ensuring that anyone who is working hard on a treadmill/cross-trainer suffers something akin to being tear-gassed when they step up onto the next machine.

    M'dears - it's a gym. Expect to sweat. No-one'll mind.
    • Like Like x 1
  15. The thing that upsets me in Gyms are you cant clock a fit birds arse in a leotard without her looking in a mirror, which reflects into another mirror, which then bounces off another mirror which reveals to her your face drooling at her arse.
    • Like Like x 8