ARRSE is supported by the advertisements on it, so if you use an adblocker please consider helping us by starting an Ad-Free subscription.

Student critique

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by The_Remover, Sep 13, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton.

    One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:

    Titanic:..... $29.99.
    Clinton :..... $29.99.

    Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read.
    Clinton :..... Over 3 hours to read.

    Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
    Clinton:..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

    Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist.
    Clinton:..... Bill is a bullshit artist.

    Titanic:..... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
    Clinton :..... Ditto for Bill.

    Titanic:..... During their ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
    Clinton :..... Ditto for Monica.

    Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
    Clinton :..... Let's not go there.

    Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
    Clinton:..... Monica's forced to return her gifts.

    Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
    Clinton:..... Clinton doesn't remember Monica.

    Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
    Clinton:..... Monica...ooohhh, let's not go there, either.

    Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
    Clinton :..... Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing.