Stretcher Barer (sic)

#1
Some bint in the News of the Screws goes on about shagging whilst serving as a TA medic.

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/story_pages/news/news4.shtml

TERRITORIAL Army medic Kerri Parker today reveals how she specialised in field undressings...and enjoyed casualty sex with comrades. The babe's 32DD curves were ready to fall out anywhere—once even on a stretcher in a hospital tent as shells exploded around her and her wounded lover. And there wasn't much standing easy whenever Kerri decided to uncover her arsenal of lust. "It was crazy. The whole thing ran on a mixture of adrenalin and sex," says Kerri, 22, who took part in strip poker with soldiers wearing nothing but bandages. "Everyone loved themselves in their uniforms—but they loved to get out of them too. "Most of the people had boring jobs in the week, so when we exercised at weekends they were ready to go wild." Now a model, the blonde's secret despatches reveal a barrage of sex explosions in the 36th (Eastern) Signals Regiment, whose motto should be Who Bares Sins:

BANG! On manoeuvres in the Norfolk countryside, Kerri's main target was a trooper who really should have been an officer—because he made her go over the top. "I'd been seeing this guy and told him before the exercise I'd be tending his wounds," says Kerri, whose regular job was as a hospital theatre technician. Sure enough, about 20 minutes in, there was the shout of ‘Medic!' Kerri found her man complaining he'd sprained his ankle and ordered two soldiers to stretcher him back to camp. Alone in the hospital tent, Kerri found her man standing to attention. "I slipped out of my combat pants and climbed on top. He'd only bothered to pull his down but it was fine for a quickie," she says. "He had his hands all over my boobs. It was like a nurse-patient fantasy but with an army theme. Totally crazy!" Their cries of passion were drowned out by ammunition exploding on the battlefield. "Afterwards I bandaged his foot so everyone would think he'd really been hurt," she says.

MAN DOWN! After a day's pistol training, Kerri got another lover to hit the bullseye in her army ambulance. "There was a rickety old bed, so we stripped, got on it and started going," says Kerri. "It was wobbly but we managed to have sex without it toppling over. "Then I got him on the floor. If we'd been caught we'd have both been disciplined —especially me because I had the keys to the ambulance."

WEAPONS INSPECTION: Scheming soldiers captured shapely Kerri and persuaded her to play a game of strip poker after an exercise—with the cards fixed. "They'd been making cracks about seeing what was under my uniform for weeks so I thought I'd play a trick on them," says Kerri. "I put on three T-shirts with a special surprise under the last one." It wasn't long before the cheats had Kerri down to a pair of shorts and her last T-shirt. "I lost the hand again and they were all cheering, thinking they'd get a decent glimpse of my boobs," she says. But Kerri had swathed her body in bandages with two well-positioned field dressings underneath as extra insurance. She says: "You should have seen their faces. It killed them stone-dead and they never tried it on with me again."

Kerri quit the TA last year when her modelling career took off. She entered FHM's High Street Honeys talent competition and soon became a lads' mag sensation. She says: "I sent off my pictures while I was still in the TA and as soon as I went in the magazine the blokes went wild. But the TA women made nasty remarks about me so I quit. "I was fairly inexperienced with blokes when I joined the TA—but I learned a few things that weren't in any army training manual, I can tell you."
Drowned out by ammo exploding on the battlefield? Hmmm...artistic (or arthritic) licence? Either way - result!

CS
 
#3
I've actualy spoke to her and she's one stuck up little skank. Won this competiton for Max Power or something that got her a modelling contract and a few quid. Typical model, all her and what she does and didn't do and other bull shit. Bit of a ********...

I think she's talking bull shit there for a bit of dosh as her so called career hasn't excactly taken off ;)

Spent all her money on her t!ts anyways...
 
#4
Rather makes a mockery of the seriousness of the conflict and the deaths of our men. Not to mention making the armed forces look completely unprofessional.
 
#5
When was norfolk invaded then ? :lol: if stanta was seized by the red hordes who would be prepared to fight for the dump anyway.
 
#6
THIS is the sort of thing we need to increase recruiting. More, more, more (and in my direction, please). (Thinking about retention, here)
 
#7
I feel an anecdote coming on:

While the TFA at the medic's place at Shaiba was being constructed, the nurses used to walk through the site to the Fire Station to take a dip in their EWS, it being the next best thing to a jacuzzi. One day, the boss fireman came to me and said, "Can you get a grip of the Iraqi labourers? When the nurses walk through, they stop working and leer at the nurses. It makes them feel uncomfortable." "Not a problem," I replied, "I'll do something about it."

Next day, the nurses walked through the site and sure enough, the Iraqi labourers stopped work and oggled.

I braced up, drew a large breath and shouted in time-honoured fashion, "Get off my shaggin' site. You're stopping the blokes working!"

Never had any complaints after that!
 
#8
I heard many things about this one, and reading the article while being told the truth about her, it was quite a funny read!
 
#11
I heard through a very long grape vine that she was never on a FTX or had passed her recruits course. Also, less importantly, she'd never had keys to an amby. but who's to say eh?
 
#16
Nah, only spoke briefly after she done that Max Power thingy and bored the t!ts off me, I used to know a girl thats had a few runs ins with her though in the modelling buisness....
 

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