Strategies when youre a minger

#1
So, you need to trap but you've got a face like a welder's workbench.

Ideas:

1. Alcohol, lots of it. If they won't let you buy them a drink try again later in the evening.

2. Improve your looks - turn the light off or take her glasses off. Possibly poke her in both eyes to blur your rough edges.

3. Dazzle her with your sparkling personality - generally only works after liberal application of 1.

4. Use arrse chatup lines; some burd will always be desperate and grateful

5. Go out in Colly/shot with your dessie boots.

6. Hide in a park/graveyard at night with rope and a blunt instrument - the more they wriggle the better

Any more suggestions?
 
#3
crabby said:
So, you need to trap but you've got a face like a welder's workbench.
Ideas:

1. Alcohol, lots of it. If they won't let you buy them a drink try again later in the evening.

2. Improve your looks - turn the light off or take her glasses off. Possibly poke her in both eyes to blur your rough edges.

3. Dazzle her with your sparkling personality - generally only works after liberal application of 1.

4. Use arrse chatup lines; some burd will always be desperate and grateful

5. Go out in Colly/shot with your dessie boots.

6. Hide in a park/graveyard at night with rope and a blunt instrument - the more they wriggle the better

Any more suggestions?[/quote]

Keep chatting to woman on the internet, that way they'll never know the real you - a sad fukker with no life.
 
#4
no1cares said:
crabby said:
So, you need to trap but you've got a face like a welder's workbench.
Ideas:

1. Alcohol, lots of it. If they won't let you buy them a drink try again later in the evening.

2. Improve your looks - turn the light off or take her glasses off. Possibly poke her in both eyes to blur your rough edges.

3. Dazzle her with your sparkling personality - generally only works after liberal application of 1.

4. Use arrse chatup lines; some burd will always be desperate and grateful

5. Go out in Colly/shot with your dessie boots.

6. Hide in a park/graveyard at night with rope and a blunt instrument - the more they wriggle the better

Any more suggestions?[/quote]

Keep chatting to woman on the internet, that way they'll never know the real you - a sad fukker with no life.
Is that what you do you trolling cnut? Not the best suggestion for trapping though - when they meet "twenty something, rich, good sense of humour" and they find a sad tramp that smells of pi$$, bigging himself up, with NHS glasses and who still lives with mummy who hates him I doubt they're going to want to engage in some horizontal jogging
 
#5
Its dead easy, simply pretend to have money, lots of it. Works every time and they will not give a toss what you look like
 

Nehustan

On ROPS
On ROPs
#8
I reckon if I wasn't such a charismatic fellow (and married ;)) I'd buy a white walking stick, maybe invest in a Lab (perhaps chocolate), and then start frequenting RNIB gigs, gotta be some fit blind women. I suppose fumbling around a little and occasionally banging into somebody would be worth it in the long term, could a person keep it up, well nobody was suggesting a golden aniversary :twisted:
 

Nehustan

On ROPS
On ROPs
#9
no1cares said:
crabby said:
So, you need to trap but you've got a face like a welder's workbench.
Ideas:

1. Alcohol, lots of it. If they won't let you buy them a drink try again later in the evening.

2. Improve your looks - turn the light off or take her glasses off. Possibly poke her in both eyes to blur your rough edges.

3. Dazzle her with your sparkling personality - generally only works after liberal application of 1.

4. Use arrse chatup lines; some burd will always be desperate and grateful

5. Go out in Colly/shot with your dessie boots.

6. Hide in a park/graveyard at night with rope and a blunt instrument - the more they wriggle the better

Any more suggestions?[/quote]

Keep chatting to woman on the internet, that way they'll never know the real you - a sad fukker with no life.
Is that what you do you trolling cnut? Not the best suggestion for trapping though - when they meet "twenty something, rich, good sense of humour" and they find a sad tramp that smells of pi$$, bigging himself up, with NHS glasses and who still lives with mummy who hates him I doubt they're going to want to engage in some horizontal jogging
I never found any of those things stopped me :twisted:
 
#10
Camp out on the SCH thread Crabby , you're bound to get something.

And if you do, antibiotics are really good nowadays.
 
#11
crabby said:
no1cares said:
crabby said:
So, you need to trap but you've got a face like a welder's workbench.
Ideas:

1. Alcohol, lots of it. If they won't let you buy them a drink try again later in the evening.

2. Improve your looks - turn the light off or take her glasses off. Possibly poke her in both eyes to blur your rough edges.

3. Dazzle her with your sparkling personality - generally only works after liberal application of 1.

4. Use arrse chatup lines; some burd will always be desperate and grateful

5. Go out in Colly/shot with your dessie boots.

6. Hide in a park/graveyard at night with rope and a blunt instrument - the more they wriggle the better

Any more suggestions?[/quote]

Keep chatting to woman on the internet, that way they'll never know the real you - a sad fukker with no life.
Is that what you do you trolling cnut? Not the best suggestion for trapping though - when they meet "twenty something, rich, good sense of humour" and they find a sad tramp that smells of pi$$, bigging himself up, with NHS glasses and who still lives with mummy who hates him I doubt they're going to want to engage in some horizontal jogging
HAHA the funny thing is you haven't a clue.....and never will. I wish I was just like you crabby. By the way, what are your plans for the day?
 
#12
[quote="no1cares
Keep chatting to woman on the internet, that way they'll never know the real you - a sad fukker with no life.[/quote]
erm surely just chatting to them on the internet proves youre a sad fokker with no life?
 
#13
Sorry Biccies, but Rohypnol works better. Or so I am told (cough).

Anyway, when I was a lad, feeding 'em unfeasibly large amounts of lethal-but-innocent-looking drinkies and then sh@gging then from behind when they were being sick out of the window was SOP.

Or you could just claim membership of super secret squirrel black ops No 2 squadron Royal Horse Fetishists* and fall over.

Works for me**.






*But I can't tell you about it, or why 'their' selection procedure was biased towards lardy drunks. I'd have to kill you, or at least give you a Chinese Burn.

**may not be 100% true***


***or 1% true
 
#19
Biscuits_AB said:
Rohipnol. It's for winners.
Agreed, its very handy if you're just after a quickie, but doesn't it take something away from the experience (such as the scared shoitless look in her eyes)?
 

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