Strategies when youre a minger

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by crabby, Oct 28, 2006.

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  1. So, you need to trap but you've got a face like a welder's workbench.


    1. Alcohol, lots of it. If they won't let you buy them a drink try again later in the evening.

    2. Improve your looks - turn the light off or take her glasses off. Possibly poke her in both eyes to blur your rough edges.

    3. Dazzle her with your sparkling personality - generally only works after liberal application of 1.

    4. Use arrse chatup lines; some burd will always be desperate and grateful

    5. Go out in Colly/shot with your dessie boots.

    6. Hide in a park/graveyard at night with rope and a blunt instrument - the more they wriggle the better

    Any more suggestions?
  2. "Hey baby err...does this pad here smell like chloroform to you?"
  5. Its dead easy, simply pretend to have money, lots of it. Works every time and they will not give a toss what you look like
  6. whiskey. Always works for me...
  7. Rohipnol. It's for winners.
  8. Nehustan

    Nehustan On ROPs

    I reckon if I wasn't such a charismatic fellow (and married ;)) I'd buy a white walking stick, maybe invest in a Lab (perhaps chocolate), and then start frequenting RNIB gigs, gotta be some fit blind women. I suppose fumbling around a little and occasionally banging into somebody would be worth it in the long term, could a person keep it up, well nobody was suggesting a golden aniversary :twisted:
  9. Nehustan

    Nehustan On ROPs

    I never found any of those things stopped me :twisted:
  10. Camp out on the SCH thread Crabby , you're bound to get something.

    And if you do, antibiotics are really good nowadays.
  12. [quote="no1cares
    Keep chatting to woman on the internet, that way they'll never know the real you - a sad fukker with no life.[/quote]
    erm surely just chatting to them on the internet proves youre a sad fokker with no life?
  13. Sorry Biccies, but Rohypnol works better. Or so I am told (cough).

    Anyway, when I was a lad, feeding 'em unfeasibly large amounts of lethal-but-innocent-looking drinkies and then sh@gging then from behind when they were being sick out of the window was SOP.

    Or you could just claim membership of super secret squirrel black ops No 2 squadron Royal Horse Fetishists* and fall over.

    Works for me**.

    *But I can't tell you about it, or why 'their' selection procedure was biased towards lardy drunks. I'd have to kill you, or at least give you a Chinese Burn.

    **may not be 100% true***

    ***or 1% true
  14. Simple, hang around with an even worse minger.
  15. be my wingman. you get to have all the disgusting fat birds a guy could ask for.