Strategies when youre a minger

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by crabby, Oct 28, 2006.

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  1. So, you need to trap but you've got a face like a welder's workbench.

    Ideas:

    1. Alcohol, lots of it. If they won't let you buy them a drink try again later in the evening.

    2. Improve your looks - turn the light off or take her glasses off. Possibly poke her in both eyes to blur your rough edges.

    3. Dazzle her with your sparkling personality - generally only works after liberal application of 1.

    4. Use arrse chatup lines; some burd will always be desperate and grateful

    5. Go out in Colly/shot with your dessie boots.

    6. Hide in a park/graveyard at night with rope and a blunt instrument - the more they wriggle the better

    Any more suggestions?
     
  2. "Hey baby err...does this pad here smell like chloroform to you?"
     
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  5. Its dead easy, simply pretend to have money, lots of it. Works every time and they will not give a toss what you look like
     
  6. whiskey. Always works for me...
     
  7. Rohipnol. It's for winners.
     
  8. Nehustan

    Nehustan On ROPs

    I reckon if I wasn't such a charismatic fellow (and married ;)) I'd buy a white walking stick, maybe invest in a Lab (perhaps chocolate), and then start frequenting RNIB gigs, gotta be some fit blind women. I suppose fumbling around a little and occasionally banging into somebody would be worth it in the long term, could a person keep it up, well nobody was suggesting a golden aniversary :twisted:
     
  9. Nehustan

    Nehustan On ROPs

    I never found any of those things stopped me :twisted:
     
  10. Camp out on the SCH thread Crabby , you're bound to get something.

    And if you do, antibiotics are really good nowadays.
     
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  12. [quote="no1cares
    Keep chatting to woman on the internet, that way they'll never know the real you - a sad fukker with no life.[/quote]
    erm surely just chatting to them on the internet proves youre a sad fokker with no life?
     
  13. Sorry Biccies, but Rohypnol works better. Or so I am told (cough).

    Anyway, when I was a lad, feeding 'em unfeasibly large amounts of lethal-but-innocent-looking drinkies and then sh@gging then from behind when they were being sick out of the window was SOP.

    Or you could just claim membership of super secret squirrel black ops No 2 squadron Royal Horse Fetishists* and fall over.

    Works for me**.






    *But I can't tell you about it, or why 'their' selection procedure was biased towards lardy drunks. I'd have to kill you, or at least give you a Chinese Burn.

    **may not be 100% true***


    ***or 1% true
     
  14. Simple, hang around with an even worse minger.
     
  15. be my wingman. you get to have all the disgusting fat birds a guy could ask for.