Strangest thing you have put in your mouth

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by scousemech, Oct 6, 2006.

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  1. I have in the past had ,sh1t, piss, pubic hairs, vomited pizza, tampon (used),Egg banjo's etc at any one time in my grid for various reasons and probably a few other things I have repressed into the dark recesses of my physche.
    However on one occasion which wasnt myself this time.I was at a pads house with wives girlfriends and the hosts releatives, a said friend of mine had a huge open abcess in the crack of his arse just above the puckered lipped starfish, after having a quite few beers he decicide that it would be a good idea to pull out the packing which inhabited the abcess this packing however somewhat resembled what can only be described as a green slimy gunk covered tampon.
    This horrified some of the onlookers mainly the wives and relatives of the host but no not to to our mutual mate sitting next to him who snatched the offending gunky green slimy crust covered packing and promptly swallowed it whole washed down with a bottle of herfie.I laughed so hard I actually had a little spillage of pee whilst the the realtives and wives were busy retching screaming and being violently ill.It was one of the best pad drinking sessions I have ever had (even when we threw the cat off the balcony to see if it would land on its feet) Any way I was wondering what other strange things arrse users have had in the mouths.

    scouse

    edited for spelling I'm a mong
     
  2. A lit firework (the roman candle type). Pee'd at a bonfire party, stuck it in my gob and received singed eyebrows and hair much to the disgust of the various parents gathered, although the kids loved it!
     
  3. a sparrow, it was crunchy
     
  4. one of my dog turds.
    when i was pissed up.
     
  5. You lie!......... and yer a cnut

    I think the vilest thing I've witnessed was a pint pot full of p1ss, phlegm, greenies, ear wax, jizz, man maltesers, lung linings, the lot...

    A pint pot full of 5DM coins was the trophy if you necked the lot..... I can heave just by thinking about it.

    Strangest thing I've had in my mouth, was another mans limp penis, mid p1ss......... probably better off not going into that though
     
  6. One of those yellow detergent blocks they put in public toilet urinals. About 6 guys had been peeing on it when i picked it up and crunched it between my teeth. They were not impressed.
     
  7. Don't know about the strangest, but the most painful was definitely one of those chillis which the ghurkas had thoughtfully left unattended by their curry...it'll teach me not to sponge.

    Oh, and did the cat land on its feet? :D
     
  8. I honestly don't know whether to vomit, cry, laugh or p1ss meself
     
  9. i did.
     
  10. One of those toilet cube things that they put in the urinals. It looked like a pineapple chunk. Only covered in pubic hair and p*ss. Didn't taste like one though.
     
  11. It fookin did an all it walked away from a 5 storie drop from a flat in Bad Oexxxxsen the Host's missus wasn't to happy when we said it accidently fell though
     
  12. Tried the obvious of a piece of toast butter side up tied to its back...? :D
     
  13. I'm glad to see this making a well-earned appearance! I thought I was the only one...they taste fcuking minging.

    Mind you, the students in the bar were shocked (didn't take much) and one was so impressed, she let me take her home and bang the tits off her all weekend, the dirty slag! Happy days... :toilet: