Strangest thing that has gone up your arrse?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by vampireuk, Jul 25, 2008.

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  1. Aided by the courage of many pints of booze I shall begin.

    When several of the lads came back from some visit to some military museum they returned with little toy wooden bows with wooden arrows with plastic suction cups on the end of them. When one of my mates was asleep across the room I correctly assumed that if I were to place the end of the arrow between my arse cheeks and slap the suction cup directly onto his forehead it would not only be funny as fcuk, it would propel me to a drunken godlike status. Unfortunately whilst wobbling over towards the victim he awoke and with the full force of his open palm shoved the narrow end of the arrow up where nothing should ever be placed (unless your name is mdn), hillarity ensued for everyone else and I remain convinced to this day I had a splinter on the inside of my arse for several weeks.

    Right, so what objects have other unfortunate folk ended up having shoved up their arse in the many years? :cry:
  2. Your mother's middle finger.... knuckle deep!
  3. A big dildo. But I suppose it isn't all that strange really, people do it all the time.
  4. This thread is wrong on sooo many levels. :? 8O
  5. My career
  6. My arse is still virginal, however, I have professionally removed several mobile phones, vibrators, dildoes, jamjars, hairbrushes from peoples rectums. The most unusual object I have ever removed from an arsehole was a common house brick. No, I did not ask how it got there, either
  7. The Sun. People always say it shines out of my arse. :cry:

    An enema. 8O 8O
    A finger on point of shooting my load (her fingernail scraped and it fcuking hurt). NEVER AGAIN. 8O
  8. Why? Seems pretty normal to me. I find the thought of the No1 House Brick fascinating
  9. Hmmm, see last reposte. LOL
  10. Just you lot wait til MDN gets hold of thid thread, you'll be sorry!!!!

  11. Peter Mandelson
  12. WTF not!!!!!!! That'd be the first thing i'd ask!!!!!! :lol:
  13. Slightly off the ball but I once got called to a job where a young 'intake' had been strapped face-down onto an ironing board, whilst his 'work colleagues' had shoved a plastic broom handle up his arrse. Young 'intake' being not to happy, had thrashed about a fair bit and on doing so, caused the legs of the aforementioned ironing board to give way,subsequently resulting in a 3 inch length of plastic broom handle snapping off and firmly buried itself in his rectum.

    I think the MO's comforting words consisted of 'Welcome to the Citadel'

  14. He can feckin have it mate lol.
  15. What is it you do exactly??? 8O