Aided by the courage of many pints of booze I shall begin. When several of the lads came back from some visit to some military museum they returned with little toy wooden bows with wooden arrows with plastic suction cups on the end of them. When one of my mates was asleep across the room I correctly assumed that if I were to place the end of the arrow between my arse cheeks and slap the suction cup directly onto his forehead it would not only be funny as fcuk, it would propel me to a drunken godlike status. Unfortunately whilst wobbling over towards the victim he awoke and with the full force of his open palm shoved the narrow end of the arrow up where nothing should ever be placed (unless your name is mdn), hillarity ensued for everyone else and I remain convinced to this day I had a splinter on the inside of my arse for several weeks. Right, so what objects have other unfortunate folk ended up having shoved up their arse in the many years?