Strange Sappers

#1
During my last period of playing in the sand, I overheard an RLC Major telling a table-full of his colleagues that 'wherever you find Royal Engineers, you can expect some kind of trouble'. As gratifying as it was to hear the Corps talked about in such terms, it occured to me later that we don't seem to be getting the same class of lunatic as we used to (lesbian peep-shows aside).

I think it's probably got something to do with the death of the old-style senior Sapper, thanks to Manning Control Points etc. For all the hassle it would not doubt cause me, I think I'd rather have half a dozen 'characters' amongst my lads than wall-to-wall sensible, boring, play-station addicted blokes.

A case in point is a bloke I once knew in Hameln who broke an NCO's jaw playing bunnies, fell backwards down the steps of the Flam Bam with no obvious ill-effects, went AWOL to join the Foreign Legion and was eventually asked to find employment in another Regiment due to getting it on with another Sapper. Another guy pierced his own bell-end with a welding rod, branded himself with a heated stable belt buckle and had a fetish about boiling gold fish in kettles. In a weird sort of way, it's a pity that they don't seem to make 'em like that anymore.

So, in a spirit of celebration for the guys who wouldn't get promoted in a million years but who kept us all amused, can anyone reassure me that true Sapper eccentrics still exist or, failing that, just pull up a sand bag and regale us with stories about the kn*bheads we used to know and love?
 

chimera

LE
Moderator
#2
wedge35 said:
(lesbian peep-shows aside).
Hey wedge - which Regiment are you from? I didn'y think we had enough girlies to put on that kind of show...
 
#3
I was referring to the vid that emerged from 21 Regt in Iraq last year which featured two girls who were, quite frankly, far too fit to be Sappers getting it on with each other in front of the lads. I understand that the sh*t hit the fan in a big way but seeing as I was with the QM Dept of a non-engineer unit, I missed all the fun :evil:

Put it this way, if they can hump Bailey panels half as well as they flick beans then there's hope for us all yet :wink:
 
#4
Left the corps three years ago now. (still miss it).
I think the old dinosaurs left before i did, I can remember a few though and there stories
Theres still some around but most have been propmoted now, so careers come first.

And as for birds in the glorious corp, whats the world coming to?
 
#5
Where do i start .....

back in the days when the army was something you did before you grew up and got a proper job these legendary characters were plentiful, but as time wore on and people started taking the whole thing a bit more seriously they started to be weeded out (or promoted beyond their capabilitys)

case 1. Ge**e Sl**ter at Antrim..... 22 year sapper, didn't give a flying f*ck for anyone up to and including the C.O. ... who he called "that f*cking sprog rupert" went down town on the lash in troos and a tam o shanter ... still in Antrim i believe ???

case 2. at Nienburg a guy in my troop called "windy" insisted every friday was ladies night and would put on a big flowery frock and dessies to go on the lash ... this dress hummed of ammonia from multiple laggings.

case3. again at Nienburg one of the lads would always try and invent a new way to get into camp to "avoid setting patterns" one of which involved crawling up a storm drain and emerging on the MT park covered in sh*t ... same bloke stripped b0llocky bufters on our B1 in hameln, jumped of a balcony breaking his collar bone, pinned a sherrifs badge through his nipple lagged into his dessies and on his return to camp marched into the guardroom and collapsed.

case 4. Captain RE ..... enough said.

i could keep going all afternoon about these heroic figures ... i based my whole career on them :D
 
#6
Had a reservist with us in Kosovo who was pretty old school. Had a mess do and we were invited into the grown ups bar afterwards. He went up to the CO and asked him how long he had been in the army. The CO said 16 years to which S replied get you heels together you sprog!!
 
#7
hehe...brings back memories,
We had a guy in 50 Sqn called Wazz, when we were in RAF Laarbruch doing ADR he walked past a RAF Flying officer and didn't salute(something to do with a skinny little rank slide on the F.O.'s shoulder) the officer says "don't you salute RAF officers in the Royal Engineers?" Wazz replied....."We don't HAVE RAF officers in the Royal Engineers" and walked away leaving a confused sprog officer behind. Classic! :lol:
 
#8
shortfuse said:
Where do i start .....


case 1. Ge**e Sl**ter at Antrim..... 22 year sapper, didn't give a flying f*ck for anyone up to and including the C.O. ... who he called "that f*cking sprog rupert" went down town on the lash in troos and a tam o shanter ... still in Antrim i believe ???
Shortfuse, if i remember correctly G S eventually retired from Antrim early 90's and returned to his home town (B on T) where i believe he is still living.

He was probaly one of the best characters i have ever met in my careeer, i had the pleasure of living in the same block as him and his huge collection of militaria, he didn't give a fcuk what he said and to who, remember him calling the OC a sprog and also remember him being told by the guard commander the he couldn't go down town to the Legion in his Troo's and TOS he then got the guard commander to phone the Badge at home, told him what was going on, and i think the Guard commander got a bollocking and G S carried on his way to the Legion. Those were the days.

Sparky
 
#9
All these storys , have all got a good starting point , " the sqn Bar , " !! 25 Engrs in osna . attic bar out of one side over the roof in the other side , !! 28 hameln . nuff said , 65 hameln . camel nicked from zoo, 23 osna , 10 foot christmas tree nicked from the altstadt , ( no names spiersy), us sappers just know how to party
 
#10
wedge35 said:
I was referring to the vid that emerged from 21 Regt in Iraq last year which featured two girls who were, quite frankly, far too fit to be Sappers getting it on with each other in front of the lads. I understand that the sh*t hit the fan in a big way but seeing as I was with the QM Dept of a non-engineer unit, I missed all the fun :evil:

Put it this way, if they can hump Bailey panels half as well as they flick beans then there's hope for us all yet :wink:
Anyone know where I can get a copy of this vid?
 
#11
shortfuse said:
Where do i start .....

back in the days when the army was something you did before you grew up and got a proper job these legendary characters were plentiful, but as time wore on and people started taking the whole thing a bit more seriously they started to be weeded out (or promoted beyond their capabilitys)

case 1. Ge**e Sl**ter at Antrim..... 22 year sapper, didn't give a flying f*ck for anyone up to and including the C.O. ... who he called "that f*cking sprog rupert" went down town on the lash in troos and a tam o shanter ... still in Antrim i believe ???

i could keep going all afternoon about these heroic figures ... i based my whole career on them :D
I remember his leaving do , the badge at the time offered him a few drinks in the SNCO's mess to which he replied I'm a sapper sir this is my bar , to which the badge made him up to an honourary SGT for the evening , and the man him self told him to ram it ,pure class
come to think about it there quite a few odd balls in Antrim at that time , St--- A-----s, diving storeman + camp dog (chino) + hundred and thousands on his old fella 8O 8O ,
 
#12
A lad at waterbeach Ski was his nickname and amongst other things he did i remember him trying to sell his girlfriend to the guard for a night so he could go on the pss. sadly he wanted to much and she was Ugly with a capital U. Also remember having to guard him because he wanted to do the Badge with a hammer be cause he put him on guard.
 
#13
j**k c*****n was the pol storeman when i was at tidworth 22 yr sapper his son was in the corps & was a lcpl
 
#14
Strange Sappers!

We had most of them in 28 Amph in the early 80's, Like the ( 9 sqn bloke who kept blowing up the toilet with Pyro, with people on it! or the guy who put the Black horse in the OC's ofice (23 AES "the black horse Sqn", some of our long service Lcpls who though running the FAMTO store was the pinnacle of their career)

They left becasue the Manning points forced them out, not sure if I miss them but at least their prescence added to the party!
 
#15
Does anyone know Danny M"rley, the most physcotic guy you will ever meet. He tried to shoot the QM once with a bow and arrow and also tried to electricute the senior troop in juniors by pouring water down the stairs and wiring the mains to the bannister!! His old man was an RSM. Oh and he married his cousin!!
 
#16
Danny W**b in 5 squadron was another fine example of the 22 year sapper, me and our kid went back to a reunion at Tidworth a few years back, and Danny had been "promoted" to the RQMS department...

but was still staunchly a toffee wrapper.

he told us with a conspiratory tap of his nose that he could "get walkman batteries" if we needed them ..... aaaah walkman batteries and harry black ... the unofficial currency of the corps. :D
 
#17
alternate currency of 8" adjustables & right angled torches if you were ever in d--k b---n troop in 37 fd sqn & fecked up.

"go & sign for some adj's & torches now d~ckhead or you can go & see the badge"

i must of bought every troop member a bloody adj & torch each 3 times over by the time i left the troop.
 
#18
I remember there was a knobber at 32 Armoured that married a hooker from Chatham I think, used to see her getting kicked out 31's block on a sat/Sun morning after a good bludgering by the boys, and she did it all for free then i believe
 
#19
There was another bloke he was in 21 ste** El*** he was always on the nick and was always being caught he was a nice enough bloke if he could stop being a clepto for 5 minutes!!
 
#20
I remember D***y M****y, He was posted to our troop when his old man was the ssm of 31 aes and ended up on our bridgelayer!! he was fcukin` mental! kept reading a bible until me commander threw it over the side and gave him a porn mag instead ! Said it would be more help to him, we made him sleep outside in case he murdered us while we was asleep.
 

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