During my last period of playing in the sand, I overheard an RLC Major telling a table-full of his colleagues that 'wherever you find Royal Engineers, you can expect some kind of trouble'. As gratifying as it was to hear the Corps talked about in such terms, it occured to me later that we don't seem to be getting the same class of lunatic as we used to (lesbian peep-shows aside). I think it's probably got something to do with the death of the old-style senior Sapper, thanks to Manning Control Points etc. For all the hassle it would not doubt cause me, I think I'd rather have half a dozen 'characters' amongst my lads than wall-to-wall sensible, boring, play-station addicted blokes. A case in point is a bloke I once knew in Hameln who broke an NCO's jaw playing bunnies, fell backwards down the steps of the Flam Bam with no obvious ill-effects, went AWOL to join the Foreign Legion and was eventually asked to find employment in another Regiment due to getting it on with another Sapper. Another guy pierced his own bell-end with a welding rod, branded himself with a heated stable belt buckle and had a fetish about boiling gold fish in kettles. In a weird sort of way, it's a pity that they don't seem to make 'em like that anymore. So, in a spirit of celebration for the guys who wouldn't get promoted in a million years but who kept us all amused, can anyone reassure me that true Sapper eccentrics still exist or, failing that, just pull up a sand bag and regale us with stories about the kn*bheads we used to know and love?