Hello chaps, It has come to my attention after a period of self inspection that theres a strange mark on my most dear possession. Its a slightly circular & red tinged mark located just above my tally whacker. Im not sure how it got there & am rather confused by the mystery of it all. I fear the next time I unleash my nether regions upon an unsuspecting young lady she may notice this & perhaps comment on it. Naturally this sort of ridicule would prove to be the ruin of any man! There are a number of ways in which the rash could have been transferred to my beautiful body. 1.) I took the liberty of some unprotected rumpy pumpy with a rather chubby history student, she could bounce like a bunny too! I remember when her carriage arrived she had a mad grin on her face that reminded me of a fat baboon I once saw at London Zoo. During the great act her little dog ran in & spilt red wine over both of us. I also received a rather cold nose in an undesired region but Im not sure if it was the young lady or her dog. Afterwards we engaged in some banter about the French revolution whilst smoking a cig & still covered in red wine. Perhaps the rash could be an allergy to cheap Merlot? Maybe it was the dirty little strumpet herself? Or maybe her dog had an obscure disease? 2.) Speaking of dogs, I had just come out the shower the other day & to my surprise my cousins little puppy rushed in & before I could do anything it shoved its nose in the vicinity of my sacred area. Naturally I brushed the little scamp off immediately with no sense of arousal whatsoever But I wonder if that could prove to be the cause? 3.) Ive recently moved into my very own bachelor pad & without the service of mummy dearest to change my sheets Ive taken to sleeping in a wonderfully greasy nest of breadcrumbs & a mix of my own & others bodily, artistic, creations. After a few months of sleeping in this mess I believe unusual body rashes may abound. 4.) Its been a while since I changed my underwear, the old inside out & back to front saves me loads on washing machine bills. Im sure there are many other factors that may be the reason behind this unsightly rash but Ill have to try & think of them & include them at a later date. Does anyone have a similar rash? Is there a G.P. in the house?