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Straightforward Crap Jokes! - The "I'll get me coat" Collection.

My young great grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.
He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 92.
My great grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
 
BREAKING: Rishi Sunak is disgusted that so many unemployed people are refusing to do jobs that are available to them.

For example, there is this deadbeat dad who doesn't know how many children he has, who keeps refusing to go to work at 10 Downing Street
 
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"
I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?''
"You're both old," he replied
 
You know, my Dad once worked with an old hunting guide, and one day they had a smart-ass guest. They were walking through the woods and they came across some small, brown spheres:

“What’s that?” asked the guest.

“Why them’s smart pills,” said the guide. “Ya just gobble a couple and ya gets smarter”.

So the dude scooped a few up and popped them in his mouth. Then he immediately spat them out and said “Jesus! These taste just like sh*t!”

“Ayup,” said the guide. “I do believe you’re getting smarter already.”
 

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