I got a new job offer and had to go for a medical.
The doctor told me to call next day for the results.
So l called the next day and the doctor told me, in general, all was fine but unfortunately, l was suffering from VD.
"Ah well doc", l said, "It must have been a toilet seat l've sat on".
The doc said, "You must have been eating it because it's in your gums!"
I was wondering why the only place I could get a signal on my mobile phone was in the amusement arcade.
Then the penny dropped...
Sober October. I'm going dry for October. Won't please her, she likes a bit of foreplay.
I found a photo of when I boxed. If you turn it sideways it actually looks like I am standing up.
Just seen Elvis in B&Q...
Returned a sander!
Mary Poppins has stopped giving blow jobs whilst wearing lipstick...
Apparently the super colour fragile lipstick makes the dicks atrocious!