Straightforward Crap Jokes! - The "I'll get me coat" Collection.


Book Reviewer
A rather well proportioned young lady, spent almost all of her holiday sunbathing on the roof of the hotel because being locked down in her flat she didn't really get much fresh air/sun for months. She wore a bathing suit the first day but, on the second, being a naturist, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her bum.
"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The hotel doesn't mind you sunbathing on the roof but we would very much appreciate you wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."
"What difference does it make," Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."
"Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."

Mary Hinge

War Hero
I took my blind girlfriend to a concert, and during the interval she turned towards me and with her eyes flickering all over the shop like they all do, she said “ Isn’t life cruel? I was born blind and you were born without a nail on your thumb “


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When I went to school the principle caned kids who couldn’t get the pacific principal right.
For about 15 years my team leader at IBM suffered some condition akin to dyslexia, but was technically brilliant. He always ensured I proofread any important email going anywhere grown up.

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