I prolly got this on arrse a few years ago....... With Christmas just a few weeks ago, I can report that I received an advent calendar from the Jehovahs Witnesses. When you open a door a voice shouts F UCK OFF.
If it’s French mustard, I guess it’s just about ready to give up...The warning label on my Asda smart price mustard told me to reject it if the lid appears depressed.
I mean of course I don't expect it to be as ******* chirpy as one from Waitrose or M&S, but how miserable can mustard get??.
You can have a funny for that because:Yesterday my Grandad went to the Cobblers to collect his shoes:
The cobbler says. ''When did you bring them in mate?''
Grandad says. ''Wednesday, March the 10th 1949.''
The Cobbler says. "You're having a laugh mate, this shop has changed hands 17 times and we don't keep records. Anyway, where's your ticket?''
Grandad opens his wallet and produces the ticket in perfect condition.
The cobbler can't believe it, but goes down the cellar stairs and searches an hour for the shoes,
He comes up the stairs all covered in cobwebs with a pair of shoes and says to grandad. ''Is this ''em?''
Grandad says. ''Yes.'' All excited.
The Cobbler says. ''They'll be ready Friday!''
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