Straightforward Crap Jokes! - The "I'll get me coat" Collection.

Adele's latest album has received critical acclaim. One review in particular stood out:
"Fantastic stuff. Every suspect has confessed within minutes of me putting it on."
V Putin, Moscow
 
I was always saddened at the thought of homeless people in winter
So I was delighted to see the Salvation Army advert and observe that they can now afford to wear make-up and get their hair done
 
I've just bought a guard dog and he's really good,
I haven't been able to get inside my house for the past three days.
 
I was reading a magazine in the dentist waiting room today and I was surprised to find out Ford have stopped production of the Cortina and are launching the Sierra.
 
It is claimed the Mark Zuckerberg, the inventor of Facebook, puts a plain grey T shirt on each morning because he does not want to waste time.
Who says Americans don't do irony
 

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