Straightforward Crap Jokes! - The "I'll get me coat" Collection.

Last night after finishing 10 pints I was dangerously weaving in the middle of the road.
I thought, "It'd probably be safer to make this cane chair at home."
 
When I die I want my body donated to science,
but more specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life.
 
A posh banker got a bit too greedy, and ended up in jail for fraud.
On his first night, he had some visitors to his cell.
John Mongrel, Tossed Salad Man, and Fleece Johnson.
Fleece told him, "Now, we can do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way. Do you want it with spit, or without spit?"
Thinking back to his boarding school days, the banker replied, "Ok, let's have it with spit."
Fleece Johnson stuck his head out, and shouted into the landing, "Hey, Spit! Get yo ass in here! He wants you as well!"
 
Scientists are working to rid the world of buttock pain
For all arse aches
Dead Horse well and truly flogged. Are you making these up or copying and pasting from some inane obscure online joke book?

Either way they are neither funny or clever.

Smacks of desperately seeking attention. (LE Status) via the easiest route possible. Be nice if you contributed elsewhere and not monopolising this thread with tiresome unfunny jokes.
 
Swinger - the horse is funny and so what if he does some plagiarising - we all do it - its called passing on a joke.

Simple answer is you dont have to come in this thread if your that easily upset.

By the way what is LE status?
 
Swinger - the horse is funny and so what if he does some plagiarising - we all do it - its called passing on a joke.

Simple answer is you dont have to come in this thread if your that easily upset.

By the way what is LE status?
You've got it. Late Entry commissioned. Although I have no idea why, or why some people have MIA, or DCM added to their moniker as well.

Admittedly the odd jokes cracks a cheek, but the volume and frequency is becoming tedious.

I like jokes, but sooner have less with better quality than the quantity of poor examples posted by @tiredoldhorse
 
Dead Horse well and truly flogged. Are you making these up or copying and pasting from some inane obscure online joke book?

Either way they are neither funny or clever.

Smacks of desperately seeking attention. (LE Status) via the easiest route possible. Be nice if you contributed elsewhere and not monopolising this thread with tiresome unfunny jokes.
I'm passing these straight on and claiming credit,keep em coming
 
I'm passing these straight on and claiming credit,keep em coming
They are not even worthy of ASDA Christmas Cracker level jokes. I pop into this thread to see if there are any belly laugh type jokes, but instead just see low level plagiarism of shit jokes.
 

anglo

LE
They are not even worthy of ASDA Christmas Cracker level jokes. I pop into this thread to see if there are any belly laugh type jokes, but instead just see low level plagiarism of shit jokes.
belly laugh type jokes,
Not in this thread, hence the thread title,

Straightforward Crap Jokes! - The "I'll get me coat" Collection.​

 
I was in Leicester and I saw a job advertised for "Gynaecological Assistant".
I popped in and asked for more details.
"Well," says the receptionist, "you have to help ladies get ready for the examination. Help them out of their underwear, lay them down, apply shaving foam to their private parts and shave them. The job pays £45,000 a year. Only problem is, you have to go to Nottingham."

"Is that where the job is?" I asked.

"No," she said "that's where the end of the queue for applicants is."
 
Well done Sir, that has cleared up that little mystery.

I'm fooked if I'm paying £100 to get a slurpy arrse lickers badge.

Screenshot_20211028-210801_Chrome.jpg
 
They are not even worthy of ASDA Christmas Cracker level jokes. I pop into this thread to see if there are any belly laugh type jokes, but instead just see low level plagiarism of shit jokes.
His jokes are no worse than any others on here. FWIW the current mrs_mush thought the 'arse aches' joke was rather good.

Still, feel free to post a few rib ticklers of your own that we can appreciate.
 
belly laugh type jokes,
Not in this thread, hence the thread title,

Straightforward Crap Jokes! - The "I'll get me coat" Collection.​

For some people the coat has been well and truly got.
 
I was in Leicester and I saw a job advertised for "Gynaecological Assist;-)ant".
I popped in and asked for more details.
"Well," says the receptionist, "you have to help ladies get ready for the examination. Help them out of their underwear, lay them down, apply shaving foam to their private parts and shave them. The job pays £45,000 a year. Only problem is, you have to go to Nottingham."

"Is that where the job is?" I asked.

"No," she said "that's where the end of the queue for applicants is."
Apparently the benchmark for a good Gynaecologist is one who can decorate the hallway through the letterbox...
 

Latest Threads

Top