Straightforward Crap Jokes! - The "I'll get me coat" Collection.

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A major International company was looking to hire someone for an important position, so they interviewed dozens of applicants and narrowed their search down to three people from different parts of the world.
In an attempt to pick one of them, they decided to give them all the same question to answer within 24 hours, and the one with the best answer would get the job.
The question was: A man and a woman are in bed, nude. The woman is lying on her side with her back facing the man, and the man is lying on his side facing the woman's back. What is the man's name?
After the 24 hours was up, the three were brought in to give their answers.
The first from Canada, says "My answer is, there IS no answer."
The second, from New Zealand, says My answer is, that there is no way to determine the answer with the information we were given."
The third one from Australia says "I'm not exactly sure, but I have it narrowed down to two names.
It's either: Willie Turner or Willie Nailer."
 
The average age of a paedophile's victim is said to be eleven years old. The average age of a paedophile is said to be thirty six years old.
Which coincidentally are the average ages of a newly wed Muslim couple.
 
At the close of the trial of Frankie Boyle, who had been accused of being a 'racist comedian', the jurors took just 3 hours to decide he was 'not guilty' on both counts.
 
BBC News:
Costa Coffee bought for £3.9 billion
It must have been one of those extra large lattes with the caramel topping.
I hope he'd got his loyalty card
 
I was at an Indian restaurant last night and a little old lady came to my table. She told me how well dressed I was, how polite I was being, and what a lovely customer I was....

...It was a complimentary nan.
 
James Blunt says criticism of his old army friend Prince Harry and Meghan Markle is bullying.
Please, please back off, before Blunty writes a song about it.
 

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