Stopping neighbours scat-cat pooing in my garden - seriously

#1
Now then, my neighbours are otherwise reasonable people excepting their belief that all things feline are born to rule this earth - and mine.

This afternoon was the last straw - I put my motorcycle helmet on the drive for 30 seconds and the fecking thing picked up cat shat on the INSIDE!

I need to know how I can stop this thing crapping all over my front - and back - garden. I'm happy just to ward it off with some sort of scent or I'm happy to kill the damn thing. As long as I don't piss off the neighbours I don't mind.

Woo

btw - when I say, "Don't piss off the neighbours", I do of course realise that finding their baggy white mingbucket of a moggy puking it's feline fanny out will be a tad disconcerting.
 
#2
Now there's a problem I identify with. I am a dog owner and whenever my dog has a sh*t I pick it up and put it in the dog sh*t bin provided. It's law at the end of the day. However, one of my neighbours has 3 cats, another 2 neighbours have 1 and I continually find cat dung in my garden. I deployed a product called Scent Off, never had a problem since but then the stones and bricks may have been a deterrent as well.
 
#3
A rotting Cat's head on a stick at each corner of the garden.
 
#4
Beef Dripping!
Let me explain - roll out little pellets of beef dripping and let the cat eat them in the evening (they love the stuff). Whilst its inside the house during the night it will have the most gut-wrenching, calcutta-stutter this side of the ganges - they'll be cleaning for weeks!
 
#5
You see, you're both challenged by the arrogance of an animal that thinks " Hey, I'll cr@p here. I'm a cat, who the Feck is going to tell me different!"

Where was your lid to gat cat do do on the INSIDE. Was it in the garden near his toilet? :wink:
 
#6
Fantastic - top replies, gents.

I'll do the beef dripping tomorrow and then the smellies. I had no idea such products existed. Typing Scent-Off (thanks for that) into Google also came up with this little gem:


‘Cat Watch’ emits ultra sound at a frequency which only affects cats. Triggered by infared beams, broken by the animals movement and heat, the manufacturer claims that an area of up to 40 feet (approx. 12m) within an arc of 100 degrees can be protected. The device can be operated either form battery or mains power via an adapter (supplied). You can use ‘Cat Watch’ to protect ponds and bird feeding stations.

Warning! When using a device like ‘Cat Watch’ you should always make sure the animal can retreat safely without causing it harm.
...................


If I put this up, all the cats in the village would feck off! Bloody great. Now all I need is a mobile phone jammer to achieve inner peace.

Thanks again, gents.

Oh, and the helmet was put down in a hurry while I pushed the bike back up the drive. It's no exaggeration to say that there isn't a single sq. metre in the garden without cat shit.

Also, I'd better not be Tricky Woo anymore!
 
#7
You could always let MDN play with it. From what he tells us he does to fur covered four legged objects, I don't think it will show its face, or its newly expanded exhaust port ever again.

:D
 
#8
a .22 air pellet in the brain does wonders for the cat :twisted:
 
#9
My old neighbours used to take in stray moggies

They used to shit all over my lawn

A few things you can do

1. Orange peel , they don't like it or so I'm told
2. Fill an old pop bottle with water ( take the labels off tho ) it freaks moggies out
3. You can buy a product called lion poo or tiger poo , ickle cats dont like bigger cats poo by all accounts
4. Keep your grass cut as short as the grass outside HQ , cats dont like short grass
5. Shoot the fuckers
 
#10
One of my mates employed a paintball gun on a persistent re-offender, lit the moggy up like a Xmas tree just as it was laying a cable. Moggy never been back since (but did suffer from a broken rib I believe).
Alternatively, get/borrow a dog - I have 2, their scent seems to be enough to put off even the most resilient of felines.
 
#11
1.Get a dog! The canine kind.
2. Put 1cm spikes on the top of your fence.
3.Buy special cat repellent stuff from B&Q
4. Pepper spray
5. Shoot the Cat
6.Shoot the neighbors.
7.Move

SK
 
#12
I used lemon juice.
It worked ;or was the butts I built at the bottom of the garden- right beside the cr*pping spot?
Whatever, it worked.
 
#13
Place chicken wire under the soil wired into the mains. Rig up a movement sensor to trigger the power every time the moggy starts to squat for a dump.

A cheaper alternative, so I am led to believe, is a thick layer bark chippings to cover the soil, and to keep your grass short.
 
#14
The ultrasonic device works. Just make sure it doesnt get knocked or anything. the sound it emits its too high pitched for human ears but drives cats crazy. Tried it on the drive because we got fed up of the car stinking of cat piss
 

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#15
Come on guys - lets hear it for the cat.

Guy puts down his crash helmet briefly in order to park bike. Cat - who has been holding in the sh!te all afternoon, dives in and drops one in said helmet - unseen apparently

Good drills Moggie.
 
#16
General Melchett said:
Place chicken wire under the soil wired into the mains. Rig up a movement sensor to trigger the power every time the moggy starts to squat for a dump.

A cheaper alternative, so I am led to believe, is a thick layer bark chippings to cover the soil, and to keep your grass short.
Nice idea, but should you get lashed one night and go into the back garden for a p*ss... 8O
 
#19
Not sure whether this works with a cat but does with a dog.

tickle it like fcuk until it lays on its back with its legs in the air..... continue to tickle it until its lipstick appears then give it a sly one off the wrist...

Just as it approaches the vinegar grab its front legs and pull them as wide apart as you can until you hear its chest bone give way and break...... then put on some ice skates and dance all over its head knocking one outall over the mess...

Regards
Inspector MDN
Fylde Borough RSPCA
 
#20
Mighty_doh_nut said:
Not sure whether this works with a cat but does with a dog.

tickle it like fcuk until it lays on its back with its legs in the air..... continue to tickle it until its lipstick appears then give it a sly one off the wrist...

Just as it approaches the vinegar grab its front legs and pull them as wide apart as you can until you hear its chest bone give way and break...... then put on some ice skates and dance all over its head knocking one outall over the mess...

Regards
Inspector MDN
Fylde Borough RSPCA
Having picked myself up from the floor and paid my mess bill twice - MDN has to be permitted the last word!
 

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