Stop me if you've heard it before....

Discussion in 'Armed Forces Jokes' started by BigRonW, Aug 6, 2011.

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  1. Aldershot, 2.00AM, and an elderly woman and a heavily bandaged civilian turn up at the guard house, making a fuss. The woman keeps shouting "It's not right, and we want compensation!" The corporal of the guard manages to calm her down and get the story out of her. She and her grandson have just trudged to the barracks from the casualty department. She owns a local chippy which, earlier in the evening, had been visited by two soldiers, who'd ordered meat pie and chips, "to go". The first soldier lifts the crust off of his pie, and complains "there's sod-all meat in this pie!" then he pulls out a Sykes Fairbairn, knife, and slashes off the left ear of the bloke behind the counter, which he inserts into his pie. The second soldier makes a similar complaint, and slashes off the "customer service executive's" other ear... and the two walk out of the chippy happily eating their pies. The poor lad's screams alert his grandmother, who calls for an ambulance, which takes him to Casualty. ""It's not right, and we want compensation!" she declaims proudly. "How's the poor wee lad going to be able to wear his glasses with no ears?!"

    The corporal of the guard expresses his sympathy, but apologies that he thinks they've come to the wrong barracks. "This looks like the work of the Pioneer Corps to me!"

    (You might have to say that last line aloud....)
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Mr_Fingerz

    Mr_Fingerz LE Book Reviewer

    Are you here all week? should we try the fish?
  3. HHH

    HHH LE

  4. Mr_Fingerz

    Mr_Fingerz LE Book Reviewer

  5. Christ...just off to to North Camp A&E to get my split ribs fixed...cunt
  6. titter, :/