It's the little things that keep me going at work. I was just coming out of the toilet, having completely stank the bog out. I'm doing a lot of phys at the minute and have taken to eating loads of mackerel and fresh fruit etc. You should try it. It really does create a hideously pungent renk in ones stools. When it drifts up through the gap in my legs, I get the first blast of it while i'm still sat down. It's that acrid that I do a quick impression of Gary Oldman taking meth in Leon. If i'm daft enough to breathe it in, I sound like Phyllis off Corrie for quarter of an hour. Anyway, as I was sneaking out of the bog, like the Ripper leaving Whitechapel, the lady cleaner was just coming in. Like the true gentleman I am, I held the door open for her. "Thank you, very much." she said. "Your very welcome," I replied. 'You won't be thanking me in a minute, love' I thought as I legged it down the corridor. Sure enough, i'd only got two steps before there was a horrified scream. I was going to run back in say "NAME, RANK AND NUMBER?" Does anyone else employ similar strategies to cope with an otherwise mundane day at work?