Stinking rotten farts

Two that immediately spring to mind:

In 1994 I made an oppo of mine chunder in my car, with a gaseous download principally derived from the previous evening's 7 pints of McEwan's lager. I think the fact that he was seriously hungover didn't help, to be fair.

In 2002 I made a then girlfriend of mine drop a cup of tea, by walking into the 'ground zero' that I'd created. She went f**ing schizo afterwards.
 
I unleashed a beast of a fart in bed this morning. I had to get out and go to the bathroom to check I hadn't sharted.
Even the dog, who was led on the landing looked at me in disgust. I actually made myself feel physically sick.
 
i have found high protein sports shakes can produce visible stink lines as the air shimmers. 4am in a van full of tired grumpy shopfitters involved offers of extreme violence for any repetition. smelt like fresh cat shit which can be smelt through glass with my cats.
 
Clearing a roomful of my fellow brickies after dropping a posie that was made from a witches brew of Singapore noodles, salt and pepper shrimp and eight or ten tins of Victoria Bitter the night before was one of my more prouder moments as they dashed away blaspheming and cursing me in French. Memories of that still a bring a tear to my eye just like the way I brought tears to their eyes.
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
There was on older gentleman Stu, who used to frequent my local watering hole.

His farts were a thing of disgusting beauty and could clear the bar area in seconds, normally accompanied by insults and threats of violence by other patrons.

The pub owner threatened to bar Stu unless he desisted because there were too many complaints from customers especially those that were ordering food.

Luckily things returned to normal several months later when Stu died of bowel cancer.
 
My Nom-de-fume might give away one of my few talents. I wanted to know why I was so unpopular and reeked a bit, so I genned up on the cause. The nastiest part of your gas is called Mercaptan and could easily be weaponised. As for why they smell worse in the bath/shower, it's probably because the higher humidity means water droplets dissolve the nasties then stick to the receptors in your snout giving you a concentrated dose. Stink on. GG
 
My Nom-de-fume might give away one of my few talents. I wanted to know why I was so unpopular and reeked a bit, so I genned up on the cause. The nastiest part of your gas is called Mercaptan and could easily be weaponised. As for why they smell worse in the bath/shower, it's probably because the higher humidity means water droplets dissolve the nasties then stick to the receptors in your snout giving you a concentrated dose. Stink on. GG
I haven't heard that word for years. As I recall Ethyl Mercaptan is what gives rotting meat it's smell.
 
Lunch.... Today beans on toast, with two poached eggs on top


looking forward to a visit to the supermarket later this afternoon
 
Lunch.... Today beans on toast, with two poached eggs on top


looking forward to a visit to the supermarket later this afternoon
Mate, your farts are legendary!
 

Similar threads


Latest Threads

Top