Sticking a pole up the Popes bottom and torching him

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by TheIronDuke, Nov 5, 2010.

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  1. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Its Guy Fawkes night. Season of gifted amateurs with matches, fireworks. And small children.

    I'm about to walk out into a mellow autumn evening with a pocket full of gunpowder. And I have not taken my medication. Because I am better now. Yes.

    If I dont post over the weekend, could someone please tell me Mum I loved her? Thanks.

    Lets do it and see what happens?
  2. Boldnotold

    Boldnotold LE Book Reviewer

  3. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    So, you are in to Mum love now as well as all your other peccadilloes. :)
  4. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Cheers Bud.

    Small children, fond Mums, full-on Dads, explosives, fires, alcohol, drugs, darkness and random Radgies, Hippies and old farts looking for their cat...

    It'll be fine,
  5. Boldnotold

    Boldnotold LE Book Reviewer

    I look forward to reading tomorrow's newspapers!!!!
  6. Would make a change for the Germans to be shafted by a Pole, usually the other way round
  7. Not whilst I've got my hands on a very large box of bangers it won't. Do I fry them or grill them?
  8. "Mystery of Exploding Body" A body was found by the roadside at Silly O'Clock by a coffin dodger walking his dog. A police spokesperson said, "it would appear that the deceased had suffered severe burns, caused by gunpowder being inserted into every orifice, and then ignited. Foul play is not suspected.
  9. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Meh. It was fine. Posh Bird is dispensing soup on the patio. Children are tearing the garden apart and the Vicars crew appear to be holding hands and crooning over the river. I am in my study 'working'. There is an old man sitting in the Captains chair. I dont have a clue who he is. He is staring at me.
  10. You are looking in the mirror you fool.

    Have the kids burned your shed down yet? Mine did that once and it wasn't even 5th Nov. I took them to the Ploice Station for a bollocking..little fuckers thought it was great.
  11. If you shape the pole to resemble a Vienna Choirboy's forearm, you could probably get the man himself. Have your people contact The Vatican in the name of children's entertainment. He'll be powerless to resist.
  12. Richard "The Hamster" Hammond was on the telly lsat night.Rebuilt the House of Parliament as it would have been at the time of Guido Fawkes.Anyway once they lit the blue touch paper,it was very dramatic.Made a proper bang.They only used one metric tonne of the stuff.He eventually got his gunpowder from Spain.