Stevie Wonder to get his sight back

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Biscuits_AB, Oct 7, 2005.

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  1. Home page of MSN......Stevie Wonder to undergoe an operation in an attempt to get his sight bcak.

    Boy, is he gonna be p*ssed off when he finds out that he's black.
  2. What ever happened to the old stage biz adage " if you have a gimmick stick with it"
  3. Yeh, he's not going to be best pleased when he sees what they've been dressing him in all these years either.
    Those bloody shirts of his went out with "Africa Bambata and the soul-sonic force"
  4. Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Tokyo and the place is absolutely
    packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice with his new audience he
    asks if anyone would like him to play a request.

    A little old Japanese man jumps out of his seat in the first row and shouts
    at the top of his voice "Play a Jazz chord ! Play a jazz  chord!".

    Amazed that this bloke knows about the jazz influences in Stevie's varied
    career, the blind impresario starts to play an E minor scale and then goes
    into a difficult jazz melody for about 10  minutes.

     When he finishes the whole place goes wild. The little old man jumps  up
    again and shouts "No, no, play a Jazz chord, play a Jazz chord".

      A bit pissed off by this, Stevie, being the professional that he is,
    dives straight into a jazz improvisation with his band around the B flat
    minor chord and really tears the place apart.

    The crowd goes wild with this impromptu show of his technical expertise.

    The little old man jumps up again. "No, no. Play a Jazz chord, play a  jazz

    Well and truly pissed off that this little bloke doesn't seem to
    appreciate his playing ability, Stevie says to him from the stage "OK
    smart ass. You get up here and do it!"  The little old man gingerly climbs
    up onto the stage, takes hold of the mike, faces the huge audience and
    starts to sing .....

     "A jazz chord to say I ruv roo..."
  5. At the African American Achievement Awards dinner Stevie is on the same table as Tiger Woods. After some chit-chat, Tiger says how much he likes Stevie's music. Stevie replies that he is very much an admirer of Tiger's golfing expertise and has even startyed to play golf himself. Stevie goes on to explain that there is a bell attached to the pin and he aims at the sound. Stevie big ups his golfing prowess and says he is getting pretty good at the game. He then suggests to Tiger that perhaps they could play a round together. Tiger doesn't want to embarrass Stevie so he declines but Stevie won't give up. He demands the match and says to get Tiger's interest that they should play for a million bucks. Tiger realises that if he says no he'll look like a chicken - and this will be the easiest million he'd ever make - so he agrees and asks when Stevie wants to play. "Midnight tonight?"
  6. Stevie Wonder walks into Harrods and starts knocking all the porcelain off the shelves with his stick. Shop assistant runs up and says "Can I help you Sir?" Stevie replies "No thanks, just looking."

    Stevie out with his guide dog when it p!sses on his leg. Stevie gives dog a biscuit. Mate says "why did you give him a biscuit? He just pissed on your leg" Stevie says "Just to find out where hid head is so I can kick his arrse"
  7. Stevie wonder is stood in parachute gear with his blind dog.... reeporter asks him'So Stevie your doing this jump for charity, but how do you know when you are near the ground? '.........

    'My dogs lead goes slack ' .... I know I will get my coat :p
  8. Why can't Stevie Wonder read?

    Because he's black!
  9. Was just musing there over a possible post-op scenario. Everything goes perfectly until the bandages come off a week later and it turns out that he was seriously myopic the whole time. 'Don't worry Mr Wonder, these spectacles will correct that defect'. With beautiful irony, Stevie is sentenced to spending the rest of his sighted life wearing glasses with lenses 2 feet thick which make him look like a particularly nasty peadophile.... :twisted:
  10. you nasty nasty people :lol:

    why is steve wonder always smiling ?
    he doesn't know he is Black
  11. 307

    307 War Hero

    What's the definition of pain, Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
  12. Great...he could tour with Michael Jackson. First gig -Los Angeles Bowl Kindergarten.
  13. Stevir Wonder was given a cheese grater. He said it was the most violent book he had ever read.