Sterotypes of the elderly

#1
Writing a little piece on what is incorrect about stereotypes of the elderly and I thought I best find out what the sterotypical elderly person is like. Therefore could you post what you think a typical elderly person is like. watch and shoot, watch and shoot.
 
#2
Smells of p**s and twiglets.
 
#3
Streets are full of the coffin-dodging cnuts, wandering aimlessly having forgotten their way home, looking like extras from Shaun Of The Dead, only with urine stains.
 
#4
MSI64 said:
Smells of p**s and twiglets.
Not all old people are gingers.
 
#6
small and slightly staggering around.
they look at small children with a smile and sense of deep hatred.
constantly droning on that 'it wouldnt of happened in my day'
Some of their heads appear to vibrate violently as if having a mini-fit.
 
#7
cnuts , Victor meldrews , moaning over the most insignifcant things as they now have time to ponder how they wasted their life, annoying the local postman (me, who usually tells them to fcuk off and get a life)
 
#8
the_matelot said:
Outstanding drivers
they drive so slow you would think they are practicing for their funeral ! :lol:
 
#10
The elerly tend to talk about two things -- the weather and their health. Their conversation tends to be very 'safe', it's not often you hear the elderly discussing the major issues of the day.

Wyeman.
 
#11
here's another dicussion point. At what age to you become "old" nowadays?? Due to people now living longer, where is that elusive line that is drawn between 'middle-aged' and 'elderly' ??
 

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
#12
IrishDoris said:
here's another dicussion point. At what age to you become "old" nowadays?? Due to people now living longer, where is that elusive line that is drawn between 'middle-aged' and 'elderly' ??
Ask BLiar - he's moved the pension age to 124 years old now hasn't he?
 
#13
Being old is having achieved the position where one just does not care a single sh1t as to the opinion of younger persons. They cannot claim that they are founding any Utopia. Our previous life was far better than the angst-ridden existence they have. Our time on earth is limited - they have a much longer road to travel; one which, by virtue of their incompetence, avarice and stupidity will become even worse. Our gift to them was instant sunshine. They fcuked that up and many are quite likely to pass into dust prematurely with a faint glow around their edges like the Ready Brek advert.

Please feel free to call again should you require any further assistance. Have a nice day.
 
#14
OldRedCap said:
Being old is having achieved the position where one just does not care a single sh1t as to the opinion of younger persons. They cannot claim that they are founding any Utopia. Our previous life was far better than the angst-ridden existence they have. Our time on earth is limited - they have a much longer road to travel; one which, by virtue of their incompetence, avarice and stupidity will become even worse. Our gift to them was instant sunshine. They fcuked that up and many are quite likely to pass into dust prematurely with a faint glow around their edges like the Ready Brek advert.

Please feel free to call again should you require any further assistance. Have a nice day.
Climb down off that fence and tell us how you really feel. :D
 
#15
Holding up queues at supermarket checkouts whilst they search for their purse so they can pay for their shopping all in 2p pieces; clogging up A&E departments with fractured femurs the moment there's a breath of wind or a bit of ice; driving fecking red Nissan Micras at precisely 27mph; causing delays at motorway service stations when their coach makes yet another p!ss stop; living on 19p and two tins of Kit-e-kat a week; being High Court Judges, and failing to understand reality.
 
#16
According to another thread, your old when your 40!! However, i can safely say that old people are not old dears who sit quietly in a rocking chair knitting nor are they babysitting werthers original munchers..oh no! Old people are shuffling, violent bags of wee an pooh. I know this from having the experience of once upon a time working on an psychiatric ward full of them. The old ladies would gouge your eyes out while screaming and fighting in lumps ( often with each other) and the old gents thought they were still in the war! One of whom had me in stitches as he hid behind sofa's and thought his walking stick was his rifle...to the cries of Halt! and friend or Foe, no matter how many times i said friend, i still got a clobbering with that walking stick!!
 
#17
Think discounts.

As in, "Is there an OAP discount for that? I'm buying two instead of one (usually discussing carrots or single rolls of toilet tissue), can I get a discount on that? This one is a little damaged here (tears the label deliberately while the checkout girl watches), can I get money off for that? I had a coupon when I bought one last week, but it was for two and I only bought one then, can I get the money off on this one now?" Ad infinitum.

If it's some old dear living on a miniscule pension I would understand...but it's always some miserly b!tch like my aunt who has roughly £300K of stocks, savings and spare change buried in secret locations around the house, while she moans about the price of a loaf of bread.
 
#18
I can't wait to be old. You get free food at harvest festival time and you can get people to do things like post your letters for you. If you're canny you'll forget the stamp so the gullible, tree-hugging, do-gooder smug Christian tw@t you flag down at your garden gate will have to pay your postage for you.

Also - you get shopping trips 'out' at Christmas time, and sometimes (if you're in a home) some random charitable feelie-wheelies will sit there and try not be bored and repulsed by the smell of recycled sprouts while you tell them how great rationing was.

Plus, if you're old you can get away with saying mildly racist things like 'You're Mum's not a bad sort for a Darkie' and you get to push in front of people in bus queues.

You also get to wear purple.
 
#19
Think "stocking up on things" Seriously having been through the kitchen cupboards in my elderly mums kitchen I found myself confronted with more tins of processed peas than I had ever seen in the possession of just one person.

Prompted me to conduct a "straw poll" of my friends which revealed that elderly mum stocking up is at epedemic proportions. Their own mothers had particular favourites too:

Six pack bars of naff soap.
Packets of Everton Mints. :roll: I DREAD to think...
Bottles of bleach.
Yellow dusters.
Tinned "Kate & Sidney" Pies.
Hair Spray. WTF?! There is just NO NEED to hair spray a blue bubble perm FFS.

The list is endless and usually accompanied by the elderly Dad comment "Well you never know when we might be short of them...."

One friend thought it was to do with rationing during the war. I personally think its to do with being as mad as a hatstand.

Check out your elderly rellies cupboards. Be afraid, be very afraid.......
 
#20
The stocking up thing is definatly an old person trait. At the first signs of the petrol strike, my Grandparents ran out an brought 14 loaves of bread. 14 FFS 8O

Then they sat there all smug when the news said that the stores had run out.

Strangely they didn't get the point when I tried to explain that if loonies like them hadn't brought 14 loaves, then there'd be plenty for everyone :roll:
 
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