stephen hawkings

Discussion in 'Sick Jokes' started by flieslikeabeagle, Jan 20, 2012.

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  1. I heard to-day that Prof. Stephen Hawkins had reached 70.............. thats some fucking wheel chair he's driving
  2. Who’s Stephen Hawkins? Is he related to Stephen Hawking?

    If it’s the latter I agree that he’s a funny guy, but I can’t remember the last time I saw him do any stand up.
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  3. I'll give myself 3 out of ten for spelling.... but then I never wanted to join the spelling police
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  4. Yeah, but your joke still gave me a giggle and I’ll no doubt be using it whenever I get the chance :)

    Just one thing with my serious head on… I haven’t seen “to-day” with a hyphen for many a year. Are you Jesus, or did you know him?
  5. sorry mate sarcasm got the better of me for a brief moment....... I am as old as the hills and always use hyphens, just the way we used to be taught
  6. I’m not exactly a spring chicken these days, but I collect old books on certain subjects and have since developed a mild (but worrying) interest in how grammar and spelling has changed over the years. Most of the books from early WWII or before spell it as “to-day”, but by 1945 most had moved to “today” (and, equally, to-morrow to tomorrow). The earlier spelling persists into the early 1960s, but increasingly less so. Not that there’s anything wrong with either (or any) spelling as long as the meaning is clear.

    Anyhoo, on thread… I think Hawking used to spell it as “puff, puff puff, puff, puff”, but removed the hyphen and now spells it as “glance twice”, dribble a bit.
  7. Apparently he returned home from his Birthday celebration party covered in minor cuts and abrasions, it transpires that a girlfriend stood him up!
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  8. That made I larf out loud
  9. That's a shame, he was all geared up for shag. Erections are no problem now since he got his doctor to disable his pop-up blocker.
  10. Now he's single again he can finally get on with writing his book. It's about time.
  11. I've just seen Stephen Hawking withdraw from a cash machine.

    It's nice to see he's found someone at last.
  12. It's not like he needs much controlling. All he's got is a fucking speak and spell.