Step Family Advice

#1
Are therebany members who have become a step parent to an aggressive teenager? Doughnut and myself have tried a number of different ways to combat the problem and they work for a while and then the aggression returns. What strategies did you use to overcome the problem? Any suggestions?
 
#3
Depends on how old a teenager really

Fear o god does the trick but the problem is that if you threaten a bit of a slap you have to be prepared to follow up
First time you tell em your gonna slap em and they call your bluff, then you do nothing you've amplified the problem 10 fold :?

Tried removing X-Box, Telly etc which all worked for a short while but problems still continued

Found the most effective approach is to severely embarass said teenager in front of their friends (not being a great believer in slapping teenagers about) make him/her look like a proper cnut in front of his/her friends is about the worst punishment you can inflict upon them

Bit unpleasant being the enemy in your own family though
 
#4
its a 16 year old girl suffering from permenant PMS so i think the embarassing her in front of her new college friends might be the way to go.

But any other suggestions are very welcome.


It's very unpleasant for Doughnut to come home to and the shame of it is when she is nice she is very nice but when she's horrid she becomes a demon
 
#6
She probably needs to be ragged by the whole of 3 Cdo Bde
 
#7
Biscuits_AB said:
Take her back and swap her for another.

I think the guarantee has run out now...........
 
#8
Non of the options are pleasant angelface, but its better to find a once only solution than go over and over it for the next couple of years
Been the stepdad for 10 years and it ain't easy.

The embarrasment route seems to be the most effective and soonest mended, hope it helps and you heve my sympathy, teenage kida can make life pretty damned hard.....
 
#9
Thanks Jagman, we are going to give it a try, 3 years in we thought things would get easier.......
 
#10
You could always send her to boarding school! It didn't do me any harm (well, not much)
 
#11
She has left school and is now attending college for her A levels, nice idea but after attending PRS Rinteln myself as a boarder and knowing what went on there, she is staying where we can keep an eye on her and any herberts that sniff round her.
 
#12
Sorry to tell you.... it gets worse with age! I was an aggressive PMS ridden teenager.... now i could kill half the cnuts here when i'm due on! :D *hates to be the bearer of bad news!* :D
 
#13
If it was real PMS fine, but this only appears at certain times, like when she can't get her own way
 
#14
Its part of being a teenager guess
The hardest thing to get past is a natural inclination to protect them from making a tit of themselves in front of others, it just results in you feeling the villain though :?
I wont go into details on a public forum but its only because my partner at the time (mother of my stepkids) was absolutely clear that she would support me in difficult dealings that made it possible to deal with it

The really hard bit is that even when they are behaving at ultimate tit level you dont wanna hurt them.....

As a step parent you are always gonna be the outsider to a degree :lol:
 
#15
jagman said:
The really hard bit is that even when they are behaving at ultimate tit level you dont wanna hurt them.....
This is what worries Doughnut. He has my full support and we are both determined to beat this together
 
#17
I'll rephrase that, we are determined to solve this together, no baseball bats involved
 
#18
Are either of you to blame for the original breakup?...............

Patience is the best weapon you have as a step-parent. Your problem may well be in the teen category best you can do is be calm and be there; the parent you are replacing would also want to be there too. Not having any digs.
 
#19
Been there and got the tee shirt, thankfully now one of the proud grandparents. It does settle down but by christ it takes some time.
The biggest pointer I could offer is that whatever route you follow be consistent, set the limits you choose and adhere to them. In my case it was treat the little beast with kindness and courtesy then get her Mother to beast her sensless when she breached the rules (which happened with monotonous regularity).
 
#20
The break up happened when my daughter was a baby as he couldn't handle being a father, said he was too young. He decided when she was 7 years old that he didn't want to be part of her life and contact is impossible as his whereabouts have been unknown since then
 

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