Stealing a tank

One of these?
Serengeti_Thomson-Gazelle1.jpg
That's what the owner gets for leaving it tied it to the flagpole
 
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I can see even more vitriol coming my way; but i thought I would share the night I (tried) to steal a tank!

Like many of us ruthless trained killers in the art of understanding "the rack catch plunger release catch cam" (answers which vehicle has this?) and other arcane military weaponry I joined the HCAV and RAC Reserve Pool of officers and spent many happy years doing gunnery, signals, BFT etc and going on exercise with the Regt. it all ended in about 2001 when gordon brown cancelled the whole programme.

we were on our Lulworth gunnery weekend- the most popular and fun w/e

I was on a run amongst the ranges and noted that there were a fair few ancient soviet tanks dotted around- and they looked in fairly good condition, we learned they had been offered up as an arms reduction exercise.

I got into one ex polish T34 - and the master switch worked. This baby's got juice! i made a note to come down later for some trophies
Of course I made the mistake of telling the rest of the course
Let's go down after dinner and get us some trophies
I had another plan!
So after dinner we all headed for the ranges- it was the blackest of black nights- the only thing we had to show the way was my Company BMW key fob which had a tiny battery. Found the prey (eventually) in the dark and i managed to break aforementioned BMW german screwdriver on the screws attaching a sign in polish to the inside of the turret. I thought this was somewhat ironic!
Urged on i said- this baby's got juice- i wonder if........they all called me hubcap because of my affinity with outrageous machinery (still continues today)
pressing everything that looked like a starter
Eventually the polski tank fired up no problem- but what a noise. It had no silencers, and the RPM was set HIGH. it was so loud i couldn't hear the guy shouting at me inside the tank, did it drive?
It had a bus gearbox with a most fearsome clutch- we were off. I gave my key fob to another guy and told him to light the way- my plan was to get it onto the firing point lined beside the challengers ready for monday's demo to the Indian ARMY.
Fine but she only had left stick- despite trying various neutrals there was no way i was going to make it. Then there was CAVEAT Range control! I could see the headlights against the headland
of course everyone scarpered apart from the torch bearer and me. How do you stop a diesel tank with revs stuck HIGH. Stall it i thought! Have you ever tried to stall a tank? It tends to go on right over whichever bank i aimed it at.
eventually i selected top gear and drove at a quarry bank

the tank spluttered to a halt
my ears were ringing
time to go

so i legged it too
Interesting the poor WO duty officer confronted some of the first to leave- who goes there?- in pitch blackness- unfortunately he addressed a QRIH officer from norn Ireland with the thickest norn Irish accent ever. Who responded who are you etc

the orderly officer fled thinking it was a PIRA plan to get some heavy armour (presumably)
the next day we were all at our City Jobs!
cool-story-bro-gif-26.gif
 
Yes we know but we don't really care. It was a poky metal rod in the Chieftain gun mechanism. Long name for a small part. Like a Screw retaining cocking link cover plate on the Scorpion breech.
Screws retaining cocking link cover plate.
Cocking link cover plate.
Cocking link springs.
The crap that sticks in your mind.
I think the last time I touched a 76mm was at Lulworth on the crew commanders course in the early 80's.
Rack catch plunger release catch cam on the Rarden brings back some memories as well.
 

syrup

LE
The famous one is the Panhard which used to sit outside HCAV museum after the falklands after Mark' s scorpian ran over a mine . The crabs were furious that a precious space was taken up with war booty! Their AFV recognition not knowing the difference between a wheeled panhard and a tracked scorpian!!


IIRC the RAF equipped at least 1 RAF Auggie unit with the Argentinian Boffers kit they nicked post Falklands.

On exchange in the U.S one of the Americans took us down to the PX at Fort Dix.
On arrival he gets a wad of chains out and starts literally lashing them round the pedals and steering wheels.
He explained that early on in the Iraq campaign once the first units started arriving back hummvee's would disappear.
You would go to ten PX or somewhere on camp leave your nice shiny newish wagon outside and when you returned yours was gone and a battered wreck was left in it's place.
No keys to start one either which made life easier.
 

Truxx

LE
Yes we know but we don't really care. It was a poky metal rod in the Chieftain gun mechanism. Long name for a small part. Like a Screw retaining cocking link cover plate on the Scorpion breech.
"Screw retaining cocking link cover plate"

Probably one word in German.

Like "bremseclopsfesthalter" (brake shoe retaining pin)
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
"Screw retaining cocking link cover plate"

Probably one word in German.

Like "bremseclopsfesthalter" (brake shoe retaining pin)
A bit like Eisenbahnknotenpunkthinundhersteller.

According to my German Linguist teacher, points on the railway.
 

Andy Farman

On ROPS
On ROPs
This is a non-taking and driving away story.

Anyone remember the 1993 'War of the Fish'
John Gladden -v- Croydon Council planning department
John Gladden -v- Metropolitan Police parking enforcement?

Tank3.jpg


Quite aside from his tank parked in 'His' parking space outside his house (actually a public highway under the act) collecting an alleged 100 fixed penalty notices, the whole thing started with his giant tuna sticking out of his roof because it was his castle and he could lower his neighbour's castles value if he wanted to, given the fish and the AFV parking ticket magnet.
He bought a surplus Abbott SPG and drove it into Croydon, followed by a convoy of Traffic Division cars (because only professional drivers can conduct 25mph pursuits) and left if on the roundabout outside the council offices and the nick.
I was having my grub in Croydon's canteen at the time and watched with interest as Black Rats (TD aka Traffic) argued about what they could arrest the driver of a fully licenced. MOT'd and taxed self-propelled gun, for. Eventually then nicked him for obstruction because he wouldn't move it, which left them with the problem of the thing blocking one lane.
Some of us wandered over and were told that we were amateur drivers and the grown-ups would handle it as a half dozen argued about how to start it. My mate, who commanded an Abbott back in his green suit days, was about to point out the the red master power switch when he was addressed as 'sonny' by a black rat with less service in the police than he had, so we left them to it and 'Gladden's Tank' stayed there for nearly a month until the local Yeomanry, sharing space with 10 Para on Roman Way, moved it for them at the mayor's request and billed TD for their services.
TD stopped using Croydon's canteen because of all the spontaneous tank engine impressions when they walked through the door.
 

964ST

War Hero
I had the task as a Mechanic of supporting a twin engined aircraft at a very remote base location, the thing was tied down about 2 Kim’s from the main accommodation and had been snowed in for over two weeks. A break in the weather allowed me to check it was OK!
The Aircraft was right way up, but had massive wind tails formed around the fuselage due to the prevailing spindrift.
I decided to untie it and start it up so I could taxi it off the tie down (I had done it on the simulator on the Factory Course in Canada BUT! Never actually tried it for real). Getting an Aircraft fitted with ski,s of ice and moving is difficult because as soon as the aircraft is parked the ice under the ski contact area forms cones and become a solid entity. Either the area under the ski needs to be cut through using a rope or a big wooden mallet (fairground size) and twat the corners of the ski,s. Then it’s a pretty viscous use off fwd and reverse pitch (hoping the thing does not fall on its arse). I managed to move it (sweating like a rapist cause it was a lot harder than I had hoped), contacted a base member to flatten the tie down with a piste- biestie, then tried to taxi the plane back round to the original position.
The thing would not turn! I had to use rudder and engine power to get a slight direction change and the radius it was taking was insane! After 10 mins and a
LONG way off I realized that I had not switched the hydraulics on so I had no steering on the front ski. I was well relieved to get the thing back on position and put to bed, and NEVER did that again.
 

TOPCAT99

Clanker
I should say that this sort of thing runs in the family; my uncle served in Gds Armoured in WW2 in 1GG and stole a US white M3 halftrack and drove it to his parents' farm in glos. for a bet. ! It then languished in a barn while legal wrangles with US govt continued
never knew what happened in the end
 

lert

LE
I can see even more vitriol coming my way; but i thought I would share the night I (tried) to steal a tank!

Like many of us ruthless trained killers in the art of understanding "the rack catch plunger release catch cam" (answers which vehicle has this?) and other arcane military weaponry I joined the HCAV and RAC Reserve Pool of officers and spent many happy years doing gunnery, signals, BFT etc and going on exercise with the Regt. it all ended in about 2001 when gordon brown cancelled the whole programme.

we were on our Lulworth gunnery weekend- the most popular and fun w/e

I was on a run amongst the ranges and noted that there were a fair few ancient soviet tanks dotted around- and they looked in fairly good condition, we learned they had been offered up as an arms reduction exercise.

I got into one ex polish T34 - and the master switch worked. This baby's got juice! i made a note to come down later for some trophies
Of course I made the mistake of telling the rest of the course
Let's go down after dinner and get us some trophies
I had another plan!
So after dinner we all headed for the ranges- it was the blackest of black nights- the only thing we had to show the way was my Company BMW key fob which had a tiny battery. Found the prey (eventually) in the dark and i managed to break aforementioned BMW german screwdriver on the screws attaching a sign in polish to the inside of the turret. I thought this was somewhat ironic!
Urged on i said- this baby's got juice- i wonder if........they all called me hubcap because of my affinity with outrageous machinery (still continues today)
pressing everything that looked like a starter
Eventually the polski tank fired up no problem- but what a noise. It had no silencers, and the RPM was set HIGH. it was so loud i couldn't hear the guy shouting at me inside the tank, did it drive?
It had a bus gearbox with a most fearsome clutch- we were off. I gave my key fob to another guy and told him to light the way- my plan was to get it onto the firing point lined beside the challengers ready for monday's demo to the Indian ARMY.
Fine but she only had left stick- despite trying various neutrals there was no way i was going to make it. Then there was CAVEAT Range control! I could see the headlights against the headland
of course everyone scarpered apart from the torch bearer and me. How do you stop a diesel tank with revs stuck HIGH. Stall it i thought! Have you ever tried to stall a tank? It tends to go on right over whichever bank i aimed it at.
eventually i selected top gear and drove at a quarry bank

the tank spluttered to a halt
my ears were ringing
time to go

so i legged it too
Interesting the poor WO duty officer confronted some of the first to leave- who goes there?- in pitch blackness- unfortunately he addressed a QRIH officer from norn Ireland with the thickest norn Irish accent ever. Who responded who are you etc

the orderly officer fled thinking it was a PIRA plan to get some heavy armour (presumably)
the next day we were all at our City Jobs!
FB_IMG_1588700654805.jpg
 

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