TOPCAT99
Clanker
I can see even more vitriol coming my way; but i thought I would share the night I (tried) to steal a tank!
Like many of us ruthless trained killers in the art of understanding "the rack catch plunger release catch cam" (answers which vehicle has this?) and other arcane military weaponry I joined the HCAV and RAC Reserve Pool of officers and spent many happy years doing gunnery, signals, BFT etc and going on exercise with the Regt. it all ended in about 2001 when gordon brown cancelled the whole programme.
we were on our Lulworth gunnery weekend- the most popular and fun w/e
I was on a run amongst the ranges and noted that there were a fair few ancient soviet tanks dotted around- and they looked in fairly good condition, we learned they had been offered up as an arms reduction exercise.
I got into one ex polish T34 - and the master switch worked. This baby's got juice! i made a note to come down later for some trophies
Of course I made the mistake of telling the rest of the course
Let's go down after dinner and get us some trophies
I had another plan!
So after dinner we all headed for the ranges- it was the blackest of black nights- the only thing we had to show the way was my Company BMW key fob which had a tiny battery. Found the prey (eventually) in the dark and i managed to break aforementioned BMW german screwdriver on the screws attaching a sign in polish to the inside of the turret. I thought this was somewhat ironic!
Urged on i said- this baby's got juice- i wonder if........they all called me hubcap because of my affinity with outrageous machinery (still continues today)
pressing everything that looked like a starter
Eventually the polski tank fired up no problem- but what a noise. It had no silencers, and the RPM was set HIGH. it was so loud i couldn't hear the guy shouting at me inside the tank, did it drive?
It had a bus gearbox with a most fearsome clutch- we were off. I gave my key fob to another guy and told him to light the way- my plan was to get it onto the firing point lined beside the challengers ready for monday's demo to the Indian ARMY.
Fine but she only had left stick- despite trying various neutrals there was no way i was going to make it. Then there was CAVEAT Range control! I could see the headlights against the headland
of course everyone scarpered apart from the torch bearer and me. How do you stop a diesel tank with revs stuck HIGH. Stall it i thought! Have you ever tried to stall a tank? It tends to go on right over whichever bank i aimed it at.
eventually i selected top gear and drove at a quarry bank
the tank spluttered to a halt
my ears were ringing
time to go
so i legged it too
Interesting the poor WO duty officer confronted some of the first to leave- who goes there?- in pitch blackness- unfortunately he addressed a QRIH officer from norn Ireland with the thickest norn Irish accent ever. Who responded who are you etc
the orderly officer fled thinking it was a PIRA plan to get some heavy armour (presumably)
the next day we were all at our City Jobs!
Like many of us ruthless trained killers in the art of understanding "the rack catch plunger release catch cam" (answers which vehicle has this?) and other arcane military weaponry I joined the HCAV and RAC Reserve Pool of officers and spent many happy years doing gunnery, signals, BFT etc and going on exercise with the Regt. it all ended in about 2001 when gordon brown cancelled the whole programme.
we were on our Lulworth gunnery weekend- the most popular and fun w/e
I was on a run amongst the ranges and noted that there were a fair few ancient soviet tanks dotted around- and they looked in fairly good condition, we learned they had been offered up as an arms reduction exercise.
I got into one ex polish T34 - and the master switch worked. This baby's got juice! i made a note to come down later for some trophies
Of course I made the mistake of telling the rest of the course
Let's go down after dinner and get us some trophies
I had another plan!
So after dinner we all headed for the ranges- it was the blackest of black nights- the only thing we had to show the way was my Company BMW key fob which had a tiny battery. Found the prey (eventually) in the dark and i managed to break aforementioned BMW german screwdriver on the screws attaching a sign in polish to the inside of the turret. I thought this was somewhat ironic!
Urged on i said- this baby's got juice- i wonder if........they all called me hubcap because of my affinity with outrageous machinery (still continues today)
pressing everything that looked like a starter
Eventually the polski tank fired up no problem- but what a noise. It had no silencers, and the RPM was set HIGH. it was so loud i couldn't hear the guy shouting at me inside the tank, did it drive?
It had a bus gearbox with a most fearsome clutch- we were off. I gave my key fob to another guy and told him to light the way- my plan was to get it onto the firing point lined beside the challengers ready for monday's demo to the Indian ARMY.
Fine but she only had left stick- despite trying various neutrals there was no way i was going to make it. Then there was CAVEAT Range control! I could see the headlights against the headland
of course everyone scarpered apart from the torch bearer and me. How do you stop a diesel tank with revs stuck HIGH. Stall it i thought! Have you ever tried to stall a tank? It tends to go on right over whichever bank i aimed it at.
eventually i selected top gear and drove at a quarry bank
the tank spluttered to a halt
my ears were ringing
time to go
so i legged it too
Interesting the poor WO duty officer confronted some of the first to leave- who goes there?- in pitch blackness- unfortunately he addressed a QRIH officer from norn Ireland with the thickest norn Irish accent ever. Who responded who are you etc
the orderly officer fled thinking it was a PIRA plan to get some heavy armour (presumably)
the next day we were all at our City Jobs!
