Standards of Behaviour (Don't get caught)

What the hell is going on in the Army at the moment? How many female officers are shagging their own soldiers? If a male officer did it, they'd be sent to the blackest pit of despair, or Hohne, in a heartbeat. Why are women treated differently.

As an Army, we are under constant scrutiny for racism and discrimination of all kinds. It seems to me that the most repressed and discriminated group in the Army is the single male officer.

:mad: :mad: :mad:

Sorry about that, but I'm really very annoyed about the whole thing...
Bugger!   :mad:They've given me a platoon with not a single woman in sight.  Confounded at every turn, though mrs foggy seems happy with that. ;D  Mind you, female officers shagging their soldiers may not be sent to hohne or other such places but they do seem to appear on the front page of the Sun on a regular basis.  Think i'd rather go back to Hohne than appear on ANY page in the Sun!!
:mad: :mad: :mad:

Bomblet, I hear what you are saying.

You know the phrase. "if you cant be good be careful, if you cant be careful dont get caught."

I think Hohne is too good for them. I hear the Falklands is nice and full of RAF types who aren't as fussy as we are about that sort of thing
Bomblet, the key question is where is the Army going?

I have a lesbian soldier who is having a baby after a one night stand with another male soldier :mad:.  She is entitled to a married quarter as a single parent, and presumably can have her lesbian partner living with her as long as it is not on a permanent basis :eek:.....  Where will this end?

Similarly the days when Army officers were from the landed gentry are long gone.  Now it is very likely that certain officers will have gone to the same schools as some of their soldiers.  Is it not inevitable that there will be relationships based on this?

Do you wish the Army to go back to the Victorian age or move into the 21st century ????


War Hero
Live with the facts and don't try to argue against the natural direction that the service takes.  Things always change, mostly for the good.  If you try to cling onto the past so much you will undoubtedly be dissapointed (not a nice way to live your life).

What is important is that people understand that the Values and Standards paper underpins all the standards in AGAIs, QRs and in the MML.  Anyone caught infringing this standard should be made to face the consequences.

Now, when I'm Lord Protector....
Does anyone else not see the point behind the whole 'service test' that is used now?  It seems to me that rather than the whole 'no shagging in the chain of command' there is now a 'will it p**s off my CO'.  

As with many memebers of this site, I spend half my life trying to second guess my CO and, lets face it, one is almost as unpredictable as another.

On the issue of inter rank shagging then I believe that infantry and Cav have the advantage i.e. no women (apart from the odd cling-on).  Corps wise it can be a minefield.  I look like Peter Beardsley after his face was on fire and put out with a very pointy shovel, but I have still been propositioned by more than afew female soldiers over the years (worryingly a couple of male ones too).

It can be tempting to cross to the dark side and as much as I hate to defend female Officers, I think there are obvious reasons why they get collared:

1.   They are surrounded by the opposite sex all day.

2.   They work closely with SNCO's (as do all at Platoon/Troop level) and SNCO's are normaly male.

3.   Women normaly go for older men than younger.

4.   Their jobs scare off civvies and cut down their options.  (Army Officer is still a fairly sexy job for a guy so I am told).

OK so they get caught a fair bit (and we all know that they get away with a damn sight more) but from one persons point of view whose logic has been over ruled by my smaller brain, if we were exposed to the same odds and situation, would we do the same??
This makes for interesting reading.  I can imagine that it must seem like there is no level playing field.  In my office, the CEO would warn off anyone who he thought was - or even might start - shagging a colleague as it was nearly always bad for business. Sometimes he was a bit premature with his warnings and it actually put the idea into peoples' heads!  There were a couple of empty rooms in the buidling where people would disappear off to after some frantic e-mailing.

Anyway, I digress.  If I was an army officer I'd find it VERY hard to keep my mitts off the chaps.  And that is why I am not in the army...  
This really is a MINEFIELD and one in which I am not wholly comfortable treading!!  I know of a superb gal who, when she went for an interview without coffee with the DAG, was told of the said gentleman's dismay of having so many females in his in-tray (so to speak) but no MALES, so clearly it was an issue that affects only the female of the species.  Yeah, right.   ;)  Even before EO, et al, of course no self-respecting Rodney would EVER consider a liaison with an OR or, God forbid, the wife of an OR.  Yeah.  So, the net result is an assortment of senior officers (none of whom have EVER been involved in an extra-marital relationship) are quite likely to ask my gal to resign.  Given the number of marginal - though politically correct - number of her speicies knocking around who will progress unchallenged thru' the ranks or variations on a commission, all I can say is...shame.  Get with it you guys and look beyond the end of your noses.  S**t happens.  The important thing is that we learn from our mistakes (hence training!) and we retain those best suited to perform the functions that we require to make the Army tick.  Let he (or she) who is without sin cast the first stone........    


I am a wife. I fancy another serving officer. Fancy is an understatement. I am fighting, and having been fighing, for about 8 months, the urge to tell him....

Aside from the usual "consider your own marriage" and "consider your husbands position" points, I am having real problems deciding what to do.

In some ways I don't care about the fact that my marriage will probably disintegrate if anyone ever found out. But I'm also scared of the rejection in case I'm spurned by the "other man".

I guess I have nothing to gain. I might as well just sit here in my unhappy marriage.
Wirecutters, I am fighting the urge to come over and smack your wrist!

"I may as well sit here in my unhappy marriage"??!!!!
No, you certainly do not! You DO something about it!

Virtually everybody who has ever been married has been tempted by the bull in the next field (or cow...) at some time or another. But when you are, just consider the following point:

Does the object of your unrequited affections have all the qualities your husband lacks?

If yes, then you are projecting your dissatisfaction onto someone who, on the surface, appears to be the solution to your problems. It is human nature (and you are no different to the rest of the population in this) but it is easier to do that than to sit down with your husband and have a long, in depth talk with him. The bull next door is NOT the answer to all your problems. Unfortunately, all the fantasises you've been having about him are just that - fantasy. What he actually is, is just another set of problems, bigger problems, more expensive problems. What is going to cause the worst long term damage - having an affair, it being discovered (because it will be), facing a distraught husband, parents, friends (and you will lose lots of them), CO, soldiers, colleagues, facing the humiliation and cost of being sued for adultery in the civvy courts and possibly you and your lover being court martialled...............or, sitting down with 'im indoors and saying "I want to talk to you about something, I am unhappy, I am bored, I am feeling restless - but I want us to work this out together"  ???

Come on Wirecutters, life is not a series of nice events and as soon as they stop rolling in, you start looking for is f*****g hard work, consists of much sacrifice and periods of unhappiness, interspersed with moments of joy and contentment.  And that is exactly how it should be. The effort of going through a period of painful reflection with your other half will be rewarded with a deeper, more mature and more solid marriage and that, Wirecutter, is worth all the gold in the world. You will have the added bonus of also having matured to the next step - stop resisting the process, it will happen in this life or  the next, the sooner you get it over with the better.

If you are truly unhappy with your husband and you no longer want to be married, then you MUST disentangle your 'anti' marriage feelings from your lust for this other guy - separate them out completely. If you can stay away from this other man for a year after your divorce, then you have separated out the two.......And be aware, if you do get divorced, you are likely to stay single for a very long time.
Gordon Bennett!! Its like being in church!!   Wire Cutters, never mind all that 'goody two shoes sort your life out crap' spouted by Dear Deirde Prodigal..............get laid!  Sod the old man, you only live once, so make the best of it! ;)
Wirecutters.  In an ideal world I would be the other officer concerned.  If so, then sod the old man and come on over.   If not, consider your indecent proposal very carefully, the other guy's probably a louse and not as thoughtful as me.
But Probably a better jump ;D

Squaddies and sensitive....lololololololololol
Wise words Prodigal.
Wirecutters...As all men are the same you may as well stick with the one you've got  ;D
Have you any idea what it would do to your husband if you had an affair with a colleague of his? :'(
You'd have to to want to hurt him very badly indeed to even comtemplate going down that road.
If you are putting your energies into being the best wife you can be you'd have no time for all this nonsense :-[...Sort your marriage out or get out of it.but don't do the dirty on him. ;)
Wise words Prodigal.
Wirecutters...As all men are the same you may as well stick with the one you've got  ;D
A bit narrow minded view that one bint.  You need to read a few more posts.  We blokes are as individual as snowflakes (MDN - I know it's poetic shhhh).
Is that right Scribbler?! And what stops you from being such a louse if you're willing to sleep with another man's wife?! Or are you saying that you're a 'sensitive' louse? Please explain, I'm a bit confused.......
All birds are fair game to any bloke! ;D

Well they are in  Donutsville anyway

Scribbler, individual as they try and shag the crack of dawn too ;D
Is that right Scribbler?! And what stops you from being such a louse if you're willing to sleep with another man's wife?! Or are you saying that you're a 'sensitive' louse? Please explain, I'm a bit confused.......

You may feel a bit overwhelmed with the reaction to your posts - it's powerful stuff, made all the more potent because it is real life and most of the things we chat about in here are far more shallow so a whiff of the real thing gets everyone fired up.  But I am sure everyone in here feels empathy with you.

The object of your desire would be hugely flattered if he knew of your feelings.  And a lot of men will never let the army/someone else's marriage get in the way of passion.

I'm not and have never been married but Prodigal is a fine lady speaks nothing but sense on this subject.  

The only thing I would add is that it is good to stay in control of your own life. If you do sleep with this other chap (be it just one night or an ongoing affair) the news is bound to get out sooner or later (it seems that way in the army) and the consequences may be far more miserable than your current unhappiness. So although it is liberating to say 'sod it', don't lose control or your options will disappear.

Good luck and keep us posted if you feel able to.

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