Stand up w@nk.....

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by PandaLOVE, Aug 8, 2008.

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  1. Cracked one off in the shower thisavvy and wondered if w@nking in the shower is over rated? Where's the best pace for a stand up w@nk?
  2. Post office queue on pension day.
  3. mwl946

    mwl946 LE Good Egg (charities)

    My kitchen
  4. Any sanger where you can be left in piece withoot a distraction.............
  5. There is nowhere better for a utility w@nk.

    Get up early, do some phys. Shower, w@nk, p1ss all in one wonderful environment then leave clean and fresh ready to crack on.

    If only you could go for a sh1t as well, well what a time saver.
  6. Any area where the "fruit" of your labour practically auto-cleans is great. However, once you crack one off in the bath it's probably a good idea to remain standing and give your ankles and feet a damn fine rinse before going out on the town - or wear Goretex boots.

    In locations other than those where you are being bathed in water it is always prudent to check for errant "blobs" that can, in the heat of the moment, find themselves redirected onto footwear or clothing. I find it's always handy to have a tart around to "sprinkle"... It focuses the mind and, therefore, one's aim... :D

    Hope this helps...
  7. Since you've already cyber blown me out once give me one good reason why your kitchen would suddenly be the best place for a stander upper?
  8. mwl946

    mwl946 LE Good Egg (charities)

    I apologised for that sweetheart!!!!

    My kitchen is where i happen to be at the moment.....simple !
  9. Be careful that shower temp is not too high, failure to do this can cause a faint at the climactic moment leading to broken shower screen and awkward questions from her indoors, or so I am led to believe by a "friend".
  10. ... that's just me isn't it :oops:
  11. mwl946

    mwl946 LE Good Egg (charities)

    i suspect you re right k13, but if you enjoy it, who are we to stop you
  12. Whilst on Top Cover when there are sleeping troops in the back. There is no better way to wake up then next stag!!!
  13. So, if I lean back against your kitchen table slowly beating off in front of you which would you prefer me to beat off to, 'The Impossible Dream' or 'On Days Like These', both by the legendary crooner Matt Munro? Don't dare tell me you don't know of these beat off classics.
  14. If you are enjoying a hand shandy in a kitchen then into the soup would be the best place I would have thought.

    You can then say that "a lot of love has gone into this soup" and it's all protein anyway.
  15. mwl946

    mwl946 LE Good Egg (charities)

    Would have to be "The Impossible Dream".................................suppose the slow pace would be about right 8)