Stand out from other ranks with brand new car from LINGsCARS

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by LingsCars, Mar 22, 2006.

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  1. Hello British Army officers, I am Ling!

    As elite ranks of gentlemen and ladies of brave British Army Officers, please use my service to obtain new car at bargain basement price per month. Stand out from RAF fly-boys and impress your overseas American Imperialist management.

    I own, and I also own the 6x6 V8 Nuclear Missile truck you can see on the A1(M) just north of Catterick, in Tony Blair's Sedgefield constituency. Truck points to America, hehe (not towards Muslim country for benefit of extremists who infiltrate this Army site).


    I supply over £10m of brand new cars a year to private and business users. These are contract hire cars, which means that you rent the car for a fixed period of time, usually 1, 2 or 3 years. You have a contract mileage of 10k, 15k or 20k (or more!) per annum and if you exceed this you pay a small mileage charge at the end, for extra miles.

    The cars are all brand new. I have wide range. Look at my website I am so pleased to be able to offer these cars to British Army as well as general public. You must get very tired of driving round in tanks or Land Rovers - I know as I have an old 110.

    To contract hire a cheap new car, you must pass finance, i.e. the finance company will expect your credit profile to be good enough to support the value of the car. Being in Army you might have to provide extra proofs so they can find you on electoral roll if you have moved around often. If you have many CCJs I cannot supply car, I am afraid. My new cars not suitable for taking to Iraq.

    Your new car will need to be insured fully comp, and will need a small service when due but these days that can be done cheaply at any garage. Road tax for full term is included in rentals, so that is bonus. You pay the petrol/diesel. You have full new car warranty, so you should have no extra costs, ever, apart from car wash or car park ticket.

    At the end of the contract, the car is returned to finance company, you cannot buy it. You just rent another, or not - whatever. Over 75% of existing customers rent another car, because they figure out cost is lowest. Of course, you can run old car cheaper than this, I am talking about new cars, not banger 1985 Ford Sierra. Actually, my cars probably cheaper than running old Sierra.

    Everyone knows it is silly to invest in depreciating asset (eg. car). Invest in house instead. Or buy land. Or pension. If you rent a car, you fix the costs and you have no residual value risk. Motor dealers always win that game, if you can buy cars and sell for a profit then you should set up a car dealership as many of them cannot even do that. I know this, as my husband is shareholder in car supermarket chain.

    I hope I explain well, I should tell you I am Chinese and I work like hell on my own to keep overheads low. This is my trick. You do not pay for big staff, dealership costs or subsidise inefficient dealer. I spend so much time dealing with idiots in NAAFi area of this site, I have no time left to recruit my own big staff.

    On my LETTERS PAGE on my website, I have over 270 customer letters, so if you not sure about me, read some letters. I also supply free lunch on website, I bribe you with Chinese money, Chinese Polo mints and you can win teeshirt in my quiz. Don't forget to look at my nuclear truck, I am so proud of it!

    I look forward to speaking to brave British Army officers, who might possibly have better credit rating than junior ranks and Naval Officers. You have so much more disposable income than People's Liberation Army troops, they are hopelessly underpaid and struggle to buy new bicycle. Give me small amount of your money, I give you new car!

    - Ling
  2. Who the f&*k is this chump???? Can't believe the mod allowed this.
  3. in_the_cheapseats

    in_the_cheapseats LE Moderator

    I am getting bored at finding board after board infiltrated with hard sell cr@p from this ejit.

    Don't mind advertisments on the site (good revenue after all) but this is too much.

    Can someone MOD-like please put the moron in the picture and get them to butt out? Alternatively charge her for each and every plug she does at a commercial rate? She is taking the pi$$
  4. Agreed. Time for her to calm down.
  5. She made me laugh.
  6. Ling's a SHE! I didn't realise.......... :oops:
  7. ..and at what point did you make your mistake? ;)
  8. LostBoss, at least one person in British Army doesn't have sense of humour amputation. Gosh, cars are not life or death, they are quite good fun. At lot of people seem to have very serious lives if they get upset about me explaining they could save a bit of money on nice new cars. Thanks for appropriate comment!

    To All...

    MOD, you mean moderator or Ministry... Well, heavens, it must be on-topic, everything is true and I bet 99% of officers in Army drive/own cars, and in general it would be fair to say officers have better credit ratings than other ranks so my cars may be more appropriate to them.

    I try to make intelligent (?) but lighthearted post. I inverst in nuclear missile truck and British Army does not do that. I think you leave all that to Navy boys with their big subs.

    It is not compulsory to click into this post, so stand at ease, Captain Mainwarings who find me annoying and click into another post instead, they all seem quite facinating.

    I do assist to keep site running by paying DOUBLE to sponsor boards. That is 2 x other sponsors. If you have problem, email CO. I am civilian Chinese female, but you can still put me on report, I guess. I think CO will agree I have not brought your nice Army into disrepute.

    I'll be quiet now. Thanks for plugs.