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Stalker Poetry

#1
Ok, With reference to my earlier thread, I have just been discussing the card that was put through my letterbox from my, er, admirer.

It was one of those really long, soppy verse cards which went along the lines of everyone in the world needs someone to love etc etc.

I feel this person deserves a response so am setting arrse members the task of coming up with verses to put as a reply to his unwanted advances.......
 
#2
Moodybitch said:
Ok, With reference to my earlier thread, I have just been discussing the card that was put through my letterbox from my, er, admirer.

It was one of those really long, soppy verse cards which went along the lines of everyone in the world needs someone to love etc etc.

I feel this person deserves a response so am setting arrse members the task of coming up with verses to put as a reply to his unwanted advances.......
Why Oh Why don't you...............
Just F*ck off
 
E

error_unknown

Guest
#4
I want you to understand,
You're unique amongst all men,
'Cos I'm going to cut your nads off,
If you bother me again


How's that then? Right message?
 
#5
Why oh Why do you fancy me
I smell of twiglets and stale dog wee
Ive got yellow fingers and my fannies all battered
for all your affection I really am flattered

Pray leave me alone and do let me be
Or I'll run you over in my golden capri
I don't need no loving from a dullard from Preston
I crave burns victim loving from Simon Weston
 
#6
When I think of you, and your piercing eyes
my pussy juice begins to run down my thighs

Like Sue Barker dreaming of Ally Mcoist my fanny becomes so very warm and moist

I want you so bad that I begin to shake
at the thought of the wondeful love we will make

Meet me soon in secret my dear
and I will let take me up my rear

Theres just one little task I ask of thee
before I let you enter me

Come play with me naked outside in the rain
and let me push you under the nearest train


Best I can do at short notice :D
 
#8
You've stalked and lingered and pestered too
But now the law's caught up with you,
But twenty years will fly like hours.
Just be careful in the showers.
 
#11
Words cannot describe
The reasons why you make me cry

It could be your face
That looks like a plaice

It could be your smile
I think it looks like bile

May be your odour
Have you tried Baking Soda?

I know what it is
I've been in such a dizz

I like you,
Am missing a screw

Stalk me again
And i have to say

I'll ripe your f***ing head off, Shi'ite down your wind pipe, chop your body in to small pieces, feed them to my pet Staffy Bull Terrier called Flossy, scoop up all the shi'ite and post it to your parents.

Who in turn I will torture to death with a stanley knife and an iron.

I Love you,

Txt me?

Moody

Hows that? Im filling up right now, very touching.......
 
#13
Roses are red, violets are blue,
count all the ASBOs I have out on you.
 
#14
A mad axeman will visit your caravan today
murder in mind and intention to slay
he'll cut of your tits and remove all your skin
With an arse like yours where will he begin

Pin you down and molest you
then coat you in jism
memories to tug over
when he's in prison

scarred for life the memories will linger
right up your claypit his nobbly finger
He's a cleft palleted mong with a limp and a stammer
but he'll still fcuk you over with his shiney new hammer
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#16
Ode to an axe murderer:


I've got an axe,
I'm a bit of a Spiv,
I've got an axe...
...and I know where you live!
 
#17
I once was a maid, tho' I cannot tell when,
And still my delight is in proper young men;
Some one of a troop of dragoons was my daddie,
No wonder I'm fond of a sodger laddie,


But You can f*ck right off!!!!!
 
#18
Thanks for your card i like it alot,
I know you're a stranger but you can still fill my bot,
You can tell im not fussy cause my hoop is all slack,
And the last Paras left overs are clinging to my back,
My Herpes with you id like to share,
I'll even shave my tashe and put my legs in the air,
So thanks again for your card i like it alot,
Yours truely "the bike" from Aldershot! :D
 
#19
cait said:
Thanks for your card i like it alot,
I know you're a stranger but you can still fill my bot,
You can tell im not fussy cause my hoop is all slack,
And the last Paras left overs are clinging to my back,
My Herpes with you id like to share,
I'll even shave my tashe and put my legs in the air,
So thanks again for your card i like it alot,
Yours truely "the bike" from Aldershot! :D
When you're finished with me
Head off to see Cait
She's done most of Newcastle
But I hear she's great

She'll bend over for you
And expose her saggy old crack
Its all soggy and manky
And smelly and slack

She won't charge you a penny
When you fill her slot
And she's far more grateful
Than us Bikes from The Shot
 
#20
A war of words between Moody and Cait
all because of Moodys failed date
My money's on Cait she can be so much fowler
and afterall Moody is a minging old howler
 
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