Stag weekend - Ultimate fantasy piss up First XV

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by postman_twit, Nov 3, 2010.

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  1. You're planning the ultimate stag weekend. Who's getting on the minibus and more importantly, why?

    I will start the ball rolling and give you a name from left field.........................

    Gok Wan!

    Think about it. The man is a legend to women wherever he goes. He is a style guru thst attracts ladies like moths to a flame. The double bubble is that he won't be interested in any of them!

    Over to you lot. 15 seats available, fill your boots.

  2. Genghis Khan - in case it kicks off
    Jesus - in case the wine runs short
    Elvis-'cos there's bound to be karioke
    Ted Bundy-he's bound to pull
  3. Hugh Heffner - must be a shoe in for a seat!
  4. You idiot. Everyone knows that Gok has been selling a dummy on the gay thing for years. As a result he gets possibly more sex with dumpy, fat, wobble-bottomed, mahoosively breasted women of a certain age than

    Take him and you can guarantee a space-hopper drought for the evening. A better gayer to invite along would be self-proclaimed wit and life and soul of the party Graham Norton. If he fails to impress the flange and act as a fanny magnet, then you have "Plan B: Panning his face in until you get bored" to fall back on.

    Also an essential on the stag would be Hollywood star and former Dons and Wales midfielder Vinny Jones. His conversation will be of manly things like sex, fishing and shooting. He will have amusing Snatch, Lock Stock and hollyood anecdotes. If anyone gets difficult in clubland, then vinny will jump in for his mates and bite their nose off. A bloke's bloke and possessed of a dry sense of humour. Also if go-karting is part of the stag do, then his "Gone in 60 seconds" experience will be golden.
  5. Not many drinkers in the list so far. How's about Oliver Reed? A weekend was just a warm up for that animal!
  6. Yes - good thinking. All back to Hugh's after the clubs close seems a sound plan.
  7. James May to take us round some proper pubs and drink some real ale.
  8. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    No chance, he's the sort of person that would open his mouth and cause all women within 400 yards to disperse.
  9. Tommy Cooper - for a laugh.

    Nurse Gladys - for when the inevitable injuries happen! She'd rub it better!
  10. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I'd bring along Steven Hawking.

    Everyone knows you can queue barge if you've got a wheelchair spacker with you.
  11. Genghis Khan - no room for his horse.

    Jesus - always skint and his dress sense is lousy.

    Elvis - would make everyone else sound shite on the karaoke and would leave nowt in the kebab shop for the rest of us.

    Ted Bundy - Al Bundy would be a better laugh!
  12. Did you not see the news a year or so ago when Vinnie got filled in, in the US, for gobbing off at someone over a game of pool? He's a pansy.
  13. Second that and his middle name is Tim I think!
  14. James Hunt to drive the bus - I witnessed his skills with the Ladies up close one night in a london club in the eighties - pure class.

    George Best - money, booze and top birds "where did it all go wrong Georgie?"
  15. Do you think we could have Spike Milligan as well?