Stag dos

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by chrisg46, Mar 22, 2007.

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  1. chrisg46

    chrisg46 LE Book Reviewer

    My stag do is steadily approaching, and in order to prepare myself for whats coming up, whats the worst thing that has happened to you, or that you have inflicted on the stag?
    I have heard i may have a list of things to do on mine, the only rules i have laid down is that i must remain within a reasonable distance of home, and nothing to be inserted. Getting arrested/mutiliated etc would also be bad....
  2. The worst thing that happend to me was, i actually got married, i am on my second "regretable marrage" women nag so much its not really worth it, however that could just be me.
  3. Do you have stag do's for Civil Partnerships????

    Make sure the bridesmaid has a shave so he doesn't ruin the photos.
  4. dont invite 3 Para Mortars
  5. Not particularly nasty, but a Superman costume about 2 sizes too small looks pretty funny when accompanied by a skateboarding helmet is good for a giggle. 3/4 length sleeves and legs, gut showing at the front, arse crack at the back. The poor man cannot help but look like he's just fallen out the back of the Sunshine Coach.

    It gets funnier when that's all he has to wear on a weekend-long do and you're staying in a 4 Star hotel. And while watching the guests' faces when you head out on the Friday night is one thing, their faces at breakfast the next morning when he stumbles into the restaurant with the collateral damage from the previous night's festivities all over his costume is something else.
  6. Right I helped mastermind a stag do it went as follows:

    Beforehand we talk tricked his mrs to giving us his passport and a spare key and spoke to his boss to book some time off work without him knowing.

    So at 4:45 one dark Friday morning we let ourselves into his house and dragged him from his pit, hands bound, blindfolded and wearing a pink tutu we took him to the airport!

    Once we were there we let him know the location we off too the only problem was all we'd packed for him was chicks clothes ! Once on location we proceeded to do the usual drinking games, nights out, strippers and a lady to love him longtime on the final night!

    Luckily for him he returned eyebrows in tact with no new scars or tattoo's safe in the knowlege - what happens on tour stays on tour!

    Probably the best long weekend I've ever had...
  7. chrisg46

    chrisg46 LE Book Reviewer

    Hmm, my passport went missing a few weeks ago...after the mrs tidied up... :cyclopsani:
  8. Relatively standard stag do - except we had taken along a doctor who had brought some "goodies" with him. Cue drunken stag having a full left-arm cast fitted whilst sleeping off second days alcohol abuse. Gave his arm a good few punches first so that it was "sore" of course....

    Following morning, lots of "don't you remember the three hours in A&E?"

    Plan went beautifully, and he was still convinced that he had broken his arm when we dropped him off at his missus' place on the sunday. We thought we'd let him sweat it for another day and then 'fess up.....

    Disappointingly for us, for the first time in his life his admin was VERY well squared..... hence early morning visit to the tailors for his suit jacket to be altered to "accommodate" said cast.

    :pissedoff: :threaten:
    When we turned up that night to own up to the truth, he was full of beans, telling us how it was his own fault, but that the tailors had done a great job. Sheepishly, I reached for the cheque book, owned up, coughed up, and then ran like the wind as the future Mrs lobbed every plate and item of cutlery she could lay her hands on in our vague direction!!!!
  9. Be afraid... be very afraid!!
  10. Week-long stag do in Ibiza for the groom.

    6 day long stag do in Ibiza for everyone else, taking grooms clothes, passport and money with them when they bug out a day early. Groom tips up at the Consulate General in a hurredly improvised toga, looking for an emergency passport.

    Don't believe it happens?

    Having the silly cnut come to his senses in a berth on the Swansea-Cork ferry is good for a jape too.
  11. Ex-gf's brother was a junior doctor in Nottingham. Found himself in the hospital chapel in a full body cast.
  12. DO invite 3 Para Mortars!

    And some sort of Village People Tribute Band.

    Stand back and be amazed by the festivities.
  13. Never invite women as honorary 'blokes'! Myself and a few like minded 'snakes with tits' (bless you,indoubitably) dry-shaved the inner cheeks of the groom's arse 4 days before his nuptuals,thus ensuring that on the happy day he minced down the aisle looking for all the world like he'd had King Dong up his ricker for the past week! Apparently the rash was a joy to behold, and stung like feck every time he broke a sweat,which on his wedding day he did....frequently! :)