Stag Do Shite

#1
So tomorrow is my stag do.

I'm not really looking forward to it. Grateful for the guys for organising it, though, although I had to take the upper hand in the end when nobody could figure out a time or meeting place. It's a soft one - a night at Jongleurs in Glasgow followed by a long night piss up and a stop off at the casino for those who can keep their eyes open. Which is a typical night out, really. Read reviews about the comedy club and everybody says it pants. But lets face it, people who bitch and moan on the internet (like me) are never happy.

The last time I went on a stag do (with some members from this crowd going tomorrow and a similar night) we ended up trying to strip the stag and tie him to a lamp post in the city centre. As he was a bit of a violent bastard, we did it to the best man - his little brother - instead. We were all promptly bollocked by coppers, shortly afterwards. He also never forgave us and hasn't spoken to any of us since the wedding passed by. His older brother wasn't too chuffed in the long run either.

The prospect is terrifying. What did you cunts do for your stag do?
 
T

trowel

Guest
#3
So tomorrow is my stag do.

I'm not really looking forward to it. Grateful for the guys for organising it, though, although I had to take the upper hand in the end when nobody could figure out a time or meeting place. It's a soft one - a night at Jongleurs in Glasgow followed by a long night piss up and a stop off at the casino for those who can keep their eyes open. Read reviews about the comedy club and everybody says it pants. But lets face it, people who bitch and moan on the internet (like me) are never happy.

The last time I went on a stag do (with some members from this crowd going tomorrow) we ended up stripping the stag and tying him to a lamp post in the city centre, for which we were all promptly bollocked by coppers, shortly afterwards. He also never forgave us and hasn't spoken to any of us since his wedding.

The prospect is terrifying. What did you cunts do for your stag do?
Sat indoors posting crap on the internet.
 
#7
Luckily, the few lunatics I know couldn't come to my stag do.
So I escaped unscathed.

2 nights out in Bristol, with the usual drunken antics, strip joints, and waking up with various liberated "trophies" dotted around reception and our rooms.

Fucking boring really.
 
#8
To be honest I'd have been quite happy with a trip to a localish pub rather than out in town. Go out, get bladdered, go to local dancing, let the single guys try to get fired into drunk 17 year olds then go home and go to sleep. Job done. Worried about being the subject of attention at the comedy club. The jibes would hurt my feelings too much.

"Woah, Milky Bar Kid, you've really let yourself go!" - that would be a cracking gag but at my expense.

Getting phone calls now with guys moaning that 5PM is too early and we should be meeting at 6 since thats when doors open at comedy club etc. Too much hassle.
 
T

Tinman74

Guest
#9
Fuck em mate, do what u want to do, on mine I ended up being the sensible one albeit shitfaced threatening to throw a cock off a bridge in Durham for threating a mucka.

The mate was a cunt tho!! But hey hi!
 
#10
Fuck em mate, do what u want to do, on mine I ended up being the sensible one albeit shitfaced threatening to throw a cock off a bridge in Durham for threating a mucka.

The mate was a cunt tho!! But hey hi!
Aye, that's the plan. I'm just a boring cunt nowadays. Can't be arsed with a big mental night.
 
#11
The prospect is terrifying. What did you cunts do for your stag do?
We got fucked around by the church for the rehearsal, so my stag do ended up being the very night before, and the only one mate and his girlfriend were available.

They took me out for a mega Steak dinner, which was nice for a pair of vegetarians, and we got some stickers made in one of those photo booth/sticker machines.

Bit shit really, and someone tried to break into my car during the service.
 
#12
My ex had his stag night the night before we got married and took so many and such a variety of mind-altering substances that he was getting flashbacks of the curtains in the registry office throughout the whole of the ceremony.

I did not find this out until 2 weeks later when we got the wedding photos back.
 
#13
To be honest I'd have been quite happy with a trip to a localish pub ...
Seems like you've made up your mind already.

I spent the evening with a mate who is gay, in central London. We drank some very good brandy and smoked an excellent cigar.
I went to bed fairly early. Feeling just a tad tipsy, I stripped off prior to realizing the curtains were still open. As I approached the window with a semi, I realised that there was a naked woman standing in the window of the house opposite watching. She wasn't a stunner, but WTF?
Beating off at what must have been the precursor for Skype sex wasn't necessarily the best way to spend a stag night. But it was fucking great.
 
T

Tinman74

Guest
#14
YMP, the wedding was awesome just the two of us in Vegas, walking through the Mandalay Bay in full shizzle, with future wife in her most expensive dress she could find for a one off was truley awesome!
 
#15
For my mates stag do we went to the Jongleurs comedy club in Brizzle and it was a good night out.
Very sensibly they kept the stag parties away from tables around the stage and put all the hen parties there instead so the comics could rip the piss out of them.
Then a day of activity stuff, a decent Thai meal, beer keller, then on to a strip club with free drinks and a free private dance for the future groom.

All with some of the cheapest accommodation in the South West so they didn't care that the rooms were trashed and covered in the remains of some shit kebabs.

Sent from my BlackBerry 9800 using Crapatalk and a head dobber
 
#16
I was taken out on the piss in Aldershot by the lads in the Bty. Was force fed numerous top shelves and ended up naked, handcuffed to a lampost outside the Elephant with a Pils bottle jammed up my arse and a lit cigar rammed down my foreskin.

The monkey patrol which cruised past did ask if I was ok then drove off laughing. I was finally released at 0300 by the ROS who took pity on me. Cunts.
 
#17
Luckily, the few lunatics I know couldn't come to my stag do.
So I escaped unscathed.

2 nights out in Bristol, with the usual drunken antics, strip joints, and waking up with various liberated "trophies" dotted around reception and our rooms.

Fucking boring really.
Boring...? BIL's stag do; sit in a pub in Torquay with a load of Wolves fans. Watch the sky football ticker on the big screen. Buy sandwiches from a corner shop to eat on the way back to the hotel at around 7pm Sat night.....fly home next day dejected..
 
#18
To be honest I'd have been quite happy with a trip to a localish pub rather than out in town. Go out, get bladdered, go to local dancing, let the single guys try to get fired into drunk 17 year olds then go home and go to sleep. Job done. Worried about being the subject of attention at the comedy club. The jibes would hurt my feelings too much.

"Woah, Milky Bar Kid, you've really let yourself go!" - that would be a cracking gag but at my expense.

Getting phone calls now with guys moaning that 5PM is too early and we should be meeting at 6 since thats when doors open at comedy club etc. Too much hassle.
5pm (sorry 1700hrs) is too early? Are you going on your Stag Do with a bunch of women?

Start with your bezzer as soon as the pubs open, get absolutely trolleyed and chin the rest of them off. Go home with a shit load of booze and put a war film on. It's your night, not theirs.

My "Hen Night" was me, my sister, my fat mate and my mum and her mates sat in the house dressed like charity shop twats *(that was my idea - here's a fiver - do your worst) watching (and grooving to) Dirty Dancing and other such crap films.

The plus side was that I didn't have to queue for a piss, I could sleep where I fell and if I was hungry I could just go to the fridge.

The down side was that my fat mate kicked me when I tried to get the sausage rolls off her and she caught me right on my engagement ring. Loads of fun trying to get the wedding ring on the next day. Not.

I suppose it was an omen really.

* Yes, we dressed up for the night.
 
T

Tinman74

Guest
#19
I was taken out on the piss in Aldershot by the lads in the Bty. Was force fed numerous top shelves and ended up naked, handcuffed to a lampost outside the Elephant with a Pils bottle jammed up my arse and a lit cigar rammed down my foreskin.

The monkey patrol which cruised past did ask if I was ok then drove off laughing. I was finally released at 0300 by the ROS who took pity on me. Cunts.
That sounds like Bravo_Bravo's pre deployment training!


It also sounds much like last years material!
 
#20
I selected my best man on the basis of being my best friend from schooldays, rather than considering the best man's necessary function of arranging an unforgettable stag night.

Separated from old mates by 250 miles, most of the attendees were colleagues from work who I'd only known for less than a year. Consequently it was a quiet night in the City of London, touring half a dozen pubs until people disappeared to catch the last tube home.

Jumped on a train with my best man, stopping off at St Albans to walk her safely home, then back on the train to my place where it was fairly buzzing, it being the venue for the wife's hen night with her numerous sisters in attendance.


Yes, I did mean "walk her safely home".
 

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