Squadron Bar Antics

Yesterday whilst feeding my 3 month old son, I informed him that unless he could finish his bottle in under 3 seconds, then he would never cut the mustard in a squadron bar, and it got me to reminising about the old bar in Germany.
I recalled one evening when it was verboten to leave the bar to use the toilet and instead a bin was placed in the corner as a waz recepticle. Strict rules were placed on swamping, so that all hosing had to be done in a 'little boy wee' stylee. Trousers and undercrackers around the ankles, hips forward and shirt held up to chin level.
You should have seen the orderly officer's face when he came round to close the bar and saw five semi-nekid dudes stood around a bin taking a whiz.
Obviously the bin got poured over some unfortunate's head at the end of the night.
So has anyone else got any top flight bar antics on tap? Freckles anyone? Or even suicide freckles- mouth and eyes open?
oh , we had a regular monthly "incontinence night" where the dress code for the evening was waterproof trousers and flip flops , the bar door got locked and no admission to toilet facilities was allowed , poor old charlie the squadron barman then spent the first part of the following week with his eyes stinging in the ammonia laden atmosphere trying to scrub the pish off the floor.

another evenings party games involved to blokes playing a variation of "pin the tail on the donkey" but it involved using a large map pin to nail your foreskin to the bar , i dont think there were any other rules ..... or a winner or loser , they just seemed content to do stretch armstrong impressions with their genitals. 8O

"dwarf kegelbahning" with the squadron oompa loompahs was always a winner aswell.

aaaaah , a tear of nostalgia is welling in my eyes as we speak.
BB gun bullying was an old favourite.....

force the nig / sprog / crow to stand at one end of the bar with his plums exposed while remainder, Glocks & sigs in hand took aimed shots at the victim.

the look of fear in thier eyes was far clearer than ken bigleys :D
After a lengthy regimental dinner, the after disco in the screws mess got a bit messy, the usual really until one of the lads who had his thousand yard stare on decided to undo his blues trousers and do his famous flies eyes routine with his two veg.....
At first it was a little flick by one of the surrounding crowd....
Then several more flicks by more and more of the crowd....
Then slaps...
Then full on conker smashes...

He was still stony faced, by that time pretty much everyone was having a go

The flicks, slaps and punches continue, I’ve never seen a mans manhood punished as much until...

Someone stubbed a fag out on them..
Still stony faced two more fags were stubbed out on the now battered flies eyes!!
Well the final act topped it all a lighter was produced and his short and curlies were burnt off...
On seeing him walk like John Wayne I really did feel for the guy

Sorry mate they made me do it!!
doghead said:
conker smashes...

I remember when we did the five pint challenge- a pint of lager, a pint of guiness, a pint of cider, a pint of lemonade (the killer) and a pint of swamp in under 4 minutes. Voming was aloud and some of the honks were so powerful they could have been used for crowd control.
The ultimate was when one of guys did the challenge successfully but the lag supplier had a dose and there were discharge particles floating in his wee.
I remember various intiation cermonies where they successful downing of a pint of 'Engineer' was required - regularly this was rapidly followed by by a fantastic hurl, more often than not straight onto the bar floor (lino natuarally). The guilty initiatee would then have to mop it up and 'suck the mop' afterwards - how we never had a case of ameobic dysentry I'll never know.

Similar to Shortfuse's tale:
Bosnia 98 - some of our Sappers were tasked to help the Loggies in Split build a new bar. Of course they were then invited to the opening night which soon moved on towards a bit of rivalry - normal stuff, drinking games, singing, etc. One of the Loggies then demonstrated how many one mark pieces he could get down his foreskin. Mistakenly thinking that he was 'the man' (not much of a challenge in the RLC) he moved to the bar. One of the Sappers went up to have a drink with him at the same time as fixing his foreskin to the bar with a drawing pin! 8O http://www.arrse.co.uk/cpgn/images/smiles/icon_eek.gif
Shortfuse: Can't remember as he was not in my troop.

This was around the time when one of the JNCOs in Split had a piercing kit and there were a lot of tongue-studs, nipple-, belly-, navel- and knob piercings around. I do remember one of the SSMs threatening to rip them out if he saw them in place whilst in uniform - unfortunately I don't think he ever got the chance.
the_rigger said:
Yesterday whilst feeding my 3 month old son, I informed him that unless he could finish his bottle in under 3 seconds, then he would never cut the mustard in a squadron bar,
Did he finish it in the allotted time? :D

We used to have nights where the first man that uses the loo had to buy the rest of the night. You learn great bladder control that way. :wink:
On my first posting to hameln many moons ago I went to the p1ss-up of the outgoing REME wallah, and had to drink my initiation 'engineer' (with bucket under arm). Outgoung bloke 'Harv' started a 'pass the peanuts' session (mouth to mouth with phlegm/false teeth etc added as it went along).

It reached a point where only me & Harv were left in the game. As I went to pass it to Harv he waived his arms in protest, but I grabbed him and insisted (can you see whats coming?.......I couldn't!). Harv reluctantly took it, and as I opened my mouth to receive......baaaaarrrrrffffff. In mouth/face/eyes, fcuking everywhere. :eek:

I'll have to go. It's brought back those memories the nurse said would fade in time. :mrgreen:
"pass the pickled egg" was another gut wrencher.

or the ubiquitous "roof runs" if your squadron bar was in the attic of your block , there was still a mystery in 7 squadron after one sports day , a javelin got chucked out the bar window and went through the bonnet and rocker cover of someones car out the back of the block..... the mystery man was never caught.

going back to the "pin your nob to the bar" competitions , not to be advised , you end up with a foreskin like a donkeys bottom lip.
The roof runs got a whole lot more interesting after they refurbished the roofs, something about not all the tiles being pinned and therefore disappearing from beneath your feet as you completed the run!! Still always amusing to start the race between two individuals and then just shut the windows. God it was cold on the roof in winter!
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