Squaddy Humour - Black humour (Not racist) - Macabre

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Bad_Crow, Dec 3, 2007.

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  1. When things go sour its always better to laugh than cry. We all know that.

    I have just been talking to another arrser who understands the true Squaddy mentality in times of peril and how we differ from mere mortals who can't deal with these situations.

    How many of you have had that look of disgust that says "You really are a sick fcuker" after you have just cracked a joke about little Maddys new best mate earth worm jim.

    Is it acceptable??? Or are we realy a dying breed of tasteless cnuts?

    I offer a simple example. Not the sickest or the most exciting but something basic to allow our civpop to understand and to set the tone.

    Whilst on tour in 2003 an 18 yr old lad with three mates was tasked go and check that position that had just been twatted by COBRA's and all kinds of other crap. Upon arriving there, he found three Iraqi's in uniform and kit. He stood open mouthed and shocked at what was left and what what he could see infront of him. When asked if he was alright by the brick commander he replied "Look at the state of his webbing" and grinned, walked off and never let it bother him again. Sick or an acceptable way of dealing with a very sh1t 10 minutes of his life?
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  2. I heard about a tout handler in NI who comitted suicide because a couple of his touts had been ID'd and topped by the IRA.

    The comment - something along the lines of "Suicide's a bit over the top. Me? I'd have accepted a bad confidential and booked some leave."

    Well, I thought it was funny.

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  3. I heard about the Ice Cream man found dead in his van covered in Hundreds and thousands - the police think he must have topped himself!
  4. Exactly that. What you can't laugh about will tear you up.
  5. Cutting all a casualties clothes off but leaving their "porn socks" on.

    Must be a cmt thing lol
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  6. Class!!! :twisted:

    Why then is it then that we are seen as so sick.

    Surely so many must use it on a day to day basis. I know (and i stress) "Old school" coppers do. Firemen do and I am led to believe that the Eddy Murphys of this type of humour are Hospital and in particular A&E staff.
  7. Thing is, I don't think we are by anyone else who's in similar positions. I doubt anyone who works as a fireman/copper/A&E staff/paramedic would see anything wrong with 'squaddie humour' because they have their own version.

    The only people who sees us as sick for what we joke about are the people who don't understand why we do it.
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  8. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    On Exercise in Batus many moons ago there was a helicopter crash (Gazelle I think) and the passenger (German Officer) was killed. Within minutes someone had phoned Batus main to see if they could have the spare seat now available on the flight back to Germany.

    Told civvis this one and they can't see the funny side.
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  9. "the Eddy Murphys of this type of humour are Hospital and in particular A&E staff"

    i was a baby student at UCH at the time of the Kings Cross fire,and jokes about Smarties and melting in the Tube were circulating within hours of the kick off!
  10. Well someone has to sit there. Did you promise to take him back as your hold luggage so that he still got home on time.
  11. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Twas not me. But handn't thought of the luggage angle. Good Drills.
  12. I asked a fireman that exact question, how do you deal with all the sh!t you see on a day to day basis, his answer was the same as squaddies deal with it, humour, black humour but humour all the same.

    Knew of a lad in the KOSB who had a brain tumour, got himself fixed and they had to put a metal plate in his skull, first day back at his unit he had the nickname 'Robo-jock'!
  13. Come on man thats basics. You could have argued that he had bad form as far as aircraft went and you were the safer option.

    Well if Macabre is unacceptable to the masses... What is?

    How do normal people deal with the aftermath of a stressful situation?
  14. Example from The Falklands.

    Casualty, in mortal stress after he's stepped on a mine: " Christ! I've lost me leg!"

    Mate, attending him: "Nah! You haven't, it's over there!"

    Example from BAOR.

    Tail gate on a speeding MK4 Bedford springs open and S...... hurtles out, bouncing, down Route 3, doing handsprings and cartwheels like you've never seen .

    Driver, looking in wing mirror: "Feck, that's all I need. That feckers going to make me miss my dinner!"
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  15. "Is that you Murphy?"

    A similar one was given to a geezer from the Marines who had been in a car accident involving fire. Lost eyebrows and first inch or two of fringe.