Squaddie's who have mown your lawn on the piss

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by bitterandtwisted, Jan 30, 2012.

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  1. You always get the silver tounged cavalier. The the bloke no matter how fucking rats he is can still charm the ladies in bed and push the right buttons.

    I always remember being out with a mate and there was this bird we got talking to, nice lass, cracking norks and it was obvious we were both trying to shag her.

    The doris asked my mate what he did for a living????

    He just stated 'Well, since you mention it, I am professional golfer and hes my caddie'... well that was checkmate - cue her gushing and dribbling all over him all night....the cunt

    As I am a man 'who took it for the team,' by having to play along being the cunts sporting butler all night - I went home for a ham shandy and kebab.....

    Also the shallow tales of telling bird that your mates bent is the oldest schoolboy trick - one the blokes tried playing that card against me, however he had his comeuppance when I got back I shat in his laundry basket, after managing to prove my worth with a doris he was trying to tuck into....

    Have you any tales when blokes have mowed your lawn when your just about when you about to make your move........???

    So please share away your tales of one liners of chivalry or your victim stories.......