What do you reckon guys, shall I continue, or give it up as a bad job? "Squaddie Potter..... Squaddie Potter..... Squaddie Potter wake up!" He opened his eyes slightly, squinting at the sunlight shining through the 'Winnie the Pooh'curtains. "Where the feck am I?" he wondered as vague recollections of the previous nights debauchery slowly filtered through to his conciousness. "God, didn't I do that awful thing from 'The Globe' last night?" He began to turn his head towards the sound of the voice, and immediately wished he hadn't as a blinding headache and feeling of nausea overcame him.....then things got worse! Peering intently at him was what can best be described as a double bagger dwarf."Squaddie Potter, must not return to Catterick" it said, blowing him a kiss that set his stomach churning. "Hi, where am I?" he asked, looking down at his c0ck and marvelling that he'd managed to get it up for such a horror, and at the same time incidentally discovering that he seemed to have swamped the bed. Just then he noticed the crusted tidemark halfway up his wand which was lying next to the bed, and remembered the decidedly non-magical use he'd put it to the night before. "Squaddie Potter, must not return to Catterick, you can't leave me, I love you!" "Where's my invisibilty cloak when I really need it ?" thought Squaddie to himself. "Just a minute love, I've got to go the bog" he said, grabbing his mobile as he ran to safety. Once he had the door locked, he quickly texted his mate Ron (unfortunately a bit of a GWAR and a total biff to boot, but otherwise a decent bloke), and then got down to doing a serious post-drink/kebab dump. Putting the lid back on the laundry basket, he carefully wiped his arrse on the curtains, and tried to decide on the best way to get his clothes and get out of the house as quickly as possible.