Squaddie nicknames

Apologies if this has been done before...

Whilst attached to an RA Regt there was a young Gnr named Ubin (polish name I thought). Everyone from the CO/BC down knew him as Ubin (it was the only name he ever answered to).

He was in the Wksp prepping a vehicle for a PRE one day when I was looking at some paperwork he brought in. "Who's Gnr *****" I asked, "That's me sarge" said Ubin. "I thought your name was Gnr Ubin"......"No, that's just a nickname I get called" "Why is that then?" says me. He went a bit coy and shrugged his shoulders.

Later I asked someone else in his Bty why he was called Ubin. "Oh, that's because he's the Ugliest B*stard In Nato...UBIN. :oops:

Any other corkers??
Poor little tw*t. Mind you, he was ugly as sin. :wink:
Heard a great one:

MINTY- because he never turned up until after eight.
FONC - friend of no cnut

Thrombosis - slow moving clot

Self basting - cause the guy sweated a lot

Chewwy/Wookie - Used on a girl in a regt i was in who was very hairy
RMP SSgt went by the name of JAFFA. He thought it was because he'd had the snip (seedless).

Everyone else called him it 'cos he was Just Another F*cking Fat Arrsehole.


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An armourer I knew went by the name of 'Quiff' for obvious hairstyle reasons. I happened to mention him to a well brought up American lady officer who went bright red and started giggling.

Turned out that in her part of the US a quiff is a fanny fart.

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