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Sporting legends immortalised in verse.

#1
Poet laureate Carol Ann Duffy has penned a poem with the perhaps unusual inspiration of David Beckham's Achilles injury ...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/arts_and_culture/8570282.stm

Myth's river - where his mother dipped him, fished him, a slippery golden boy flowed on, his name on its lips.
Without him, it was prophesied, they would not take Troy.

Women hid him, concealed him in girls' sarongs; days of sweetmeats, spices, silver songs...

But when Odysseus came, with an athlete's build, a sword and a shield, he followed him to the battlefield, the crowd's roar,

And it was sport, not war, his charmed foot on the ball...

But then his heel, his heel, his heel...
What the fcuk is that all about? I think mine is better ...

Becks, Becks, Becks,
You play your footy, wearing Vicky’s kecks.
But now you’ve fucked your ankle up,
You can’t play in the World Cup.
But at least you can keep an eye on Posh,
And that cunt Terry won’t get a nosh.

Beat that fcuker!
 
#4
There was a young scouser called Wayne,
and when he saw a granny he came,
The papers caught him shamed,
and he thought Collette would blame,
but he flashed his cash and she was tamed!
 
#6
Oh Beckham your hopes are now dashed
Now your ankle has been f*ckin smashed
It really is a shame
But we know who to blame
That scawny, talentless dog who's seems to be sucking the life force out of you and choosing the most f*ckin ridiculous names for your kids and living off the fact that she was once in a sh*t pop group but is now married to a rich footballer, she should burn in hell after being skinned alive....you know who I mean, old whats'er name.
 
#7
duckula said:
Oh Beckham your hopes are now dashed
Now your ankle has been f*ckin smashed
It really is a shame
But we know who to blame
That scawny, talentless dog who's seems to be sucking the life force out of you and choosing the most f*ckin ridiculous names for your kids and living off the fact that she was once in a sh*t pop group but is now married to a rich footballer, she should burn in hell after being skinned alive....you know who I mean, old whats'er name.
That really is quite thought provoking.
 
#8
Manc fans on Park Ji-Sung (to the tune of 'Lord of the Dance'):

'Park, Park, whoever you may be.
You eat dogs in your own country.
But it could be worse, you could be Scouse,
Eating rats in your council house'.

Fulham fans on Bobby Zamora (who's missed a few sitters in his time - to the tune of 'That's Amore'):

'When you're sat in Row Z and the ball hits your head,
That's Zamora'.
 
#9
weekend_worrier said:
Manc fans on Park Ji-Sung (to the tune of 'Lord of the Dance'):

'Park, Park, whoever you may be.
You eat dogs in your own country.
But it could be worse, you could be Scouse,
Eating rats in your council house'.

Fulham fans on Bobby Zamora (who's missed a few sitters in his time - to the tune of 'That's Amore'):

'When you're sat in Row Z and the ball hits your head,
That's Zamora'.
Now look what you've done. You've sullied a poetry thread with common terrace chants.
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#11
Brought to mind a comment in another thread, so I'm attempting to invigorate your inner mental sanctums with my 'Ode to a Footballer'



'Twas the World Cup in '86
We fought against the Argies
but this time on the pitch
losing 2-1, ain't it a b!tch!

There's no doubt about it,
the greasy dego fouled
got all religious, the sh!t
when we got up and howled.

Blamed 'The Hand of God'
and was backed by the Pope
to the hilt was his Squad
We didn't have a hope.

At last now, the truth can be seen,
and it appears to go with the territory
it wasn't footy, instead quite obsene
God touching balls inapropriately.
 
K

Kirkz

Guest
#12
There once was a boxer call Hatton.
Who's opponents he would flatton
Till a challenger came
and gave him some pain
Now little Ricky's been shat on!!
 
#13
k13eod said:
weekend_worrier said:
Manc fans on Park Ji-Sung (to the tune of 'Lord of the Dance'):

'Park, Park, whoever you may be.
You eat dogs in your own country.
But it could be worse, you could be Scouse,
Eating rats in your council house'.

Fulham fans on Bobby Zamora (who's missed a few sitters in his time - to the tune of 'That's Amore'):

'When you're sat in Row Z and the ball hits your head,
That's Zamora'.
Now look what you've done. You've sullied a poetry thread with common terrace chants.
Sully away I say.

It'll all end in tears.

Or something based on a poem by Kipling. :)
 
#14
k13eod said:
weekend_worrier said:
Manc fans on Park Ji-Sung (to the tune of 'Lord of the Dance'):

'Park, Park, whoever you may be.
You eat dogs in your own country.
But it could be worse, you could be Scouse,
Eating rats in your council house'.

Fulham fans on Bobby Zamora (who's missed a few sitters in his time - to the tune of 'That's Amore'):

'When you're sat in Row Z and the ball hits your head,
That's Zamora'.
Now look what you've done. You've sullied a poetry thread with common terrace chants.
I seem to remember a slightly different version of that song everytime he did he the net when he played for BHAFC...mind you that was a fair few leagues below!
 
#16
I would love to have been there when the newly- wed Victoria was serenaded by an entire stadium of football fans with:

'Do you take it up the arrse Mrs Beckham?
Do like it when it goes up hard and fast?
Do you gobble like a turkey Mrs Beckham,
with half a pound of Paxo up your arrse?

Faaaantastic!
 

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